Shooting from the hip? Sometimes it's better to think before we speak

Services for Real Estate Pros with Real Skillz-Clear Marketing for Your Real Estate Vision

There is a difference between being honest and being blunt.

Some people get this right away, and others do the "insert foot in mouth" before they realize and learn.  Others never get it and their honest personality is to speak what's on their mind and be darned of any consequences.

So why am I bringing this up and what's it got to do with selling real estate?  Oh, my friends, a ton.


There have been too many times when I have been involved in past transactions and words have flown out of people's mouths like:

  • If she had been more_____ than it would've been done.
  • Well, he's a top producer, so you know, he/she doesn't have time.
  • Those people_______________________. OR, my favorite, "you people" (this I heard quite often when I sold a real estate internet product).
  • If you had only listened to me ________________.
  • It's not my fault.
  • I don't know.

Now let's think about how such statements can make an impact to the person on the receiving end.  AND, what kind of impact is it?  Will it reflect positively on the speaker?


And let's remember that every contact made in the world of sales is a potential sale, either directly or through referral.  You don't have to like everyone, nor do we have to conduct business with everyone, but reputation is the one thing a sales person should be able to hang his/her hat on.  And it's hard to have a good reputation when the words falling out of the mouth slander, ridicule, or offend, even if they aren't meant to. 

Sometimes, it can be just a tone or inflection.  Recording a role playing call or video taping yourself at a listing presentation is a good way to pick up on subtle nuances that can make a difference.  It's hard to attract business when you have a negative, nervous, condescending or brash tone or posture.  It's good to have someone else review a recording or videotaping with you to pick up on the things you might miss. 

And try to go into every contact you make with a positive attitude.  It will help you to convey your feelings positively.  Positive actions will attract positive results.






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Kathleen Lordbock
Keller Williams Realty Professionals - Baxter, MN
Keller Williams Realty Professionals
This is just generally great advice - feet were not make to be chewed on.
Jan 30, 2008 07:12 AM #1
Jeff Kessler
Austin Homes, Realtors - Austin, TX

Roll playing is an awesome idea.  We had to do it when I worked for KB Homes and it has really helped me over the years.


Jan 30, 2008 07:29 AM #2
Elaine A. Cook
Connect - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham Real Estate
Being a Sagittarius, I was born with foot in mouth disease..however a few years ago I "trained" myself to slow down and think. I CAN be honest and diplomatic a the same time.  Most of the time I am on it...however sometimes you can still hear my husband say "did you just say that out-loud?" lol
Jan 30, 2008 08:18 AM #3
Vivienne Seaman
RE/MAX Eagle Properties - Drummond Island, MI

Hello Rebecca,  It's good to read another post from you.  I have not been on the rain for almost three weeks.

 Today I heard from my clients who are trying their best to sell their property after the listing expires.  Funny how the people who have contacted them three times just don't seem to have a names or phone number!!!

This is the 4th time this has happened in my 18 months  or so in the business.  Curious......

When I tried to follow up on their "lead",  the people are non existent.  In one false lead, I called the mother of these two individuals, supposedly, and asked her if she knew of her two daughters interest in the property.

Oh, Vivienne, our only daughter passed away at age 12 in 1966.  Imagine my total embarrassment at bringing up such a heart wrenching thought in her life.

Well, I felt like lashing out at these two people who just lied to me for the third time!  I take a deep breath and told myself.  If I cannot take people like these sorts in stride, then I need to get out of the business.

Said a prayer, and things are alright.

Good clients asked me today, "can you still do the open house for us on Memorial day weekend.

(the contract runs out 5-23-08)

NOPE, I do not work without a contract! 

Jan 30, 2008 11:11 AM #4
Charles McDonald®
Charlottesville Solutions - Charlottesville, VA
REALTOR®, Principal Broker®, Owner

Thomas Jefferson had a saying.. "When angry, count ten before you speak" This works in a lot of conversations, even when you are not angry.

Your Friend in Charlottesville

Jan 30, 2008 11:02 PM #5
Rebecca Levinson, Real Estate Marketing and Online Advertising Consultant
Real Skillz-Clear Marketing for Your Real Estate Vision - Lake Geneva, WI

Kathleen and Elaine-  I have suffered from some moments of foot in mouth illness myself.  It takes practice sometimes to hold yourself back.  Especially when you are opinionated and somewhat stubborn; Elaine, I am an Aries-lol.

Jeff- That's great; Maybe you can role play with some new agents in your office, or even one.  I bet it would make a big difference in their confidence and performance.  And just think about all the good karma that would come back to you. 

Vivienne- Welcome back.  Wow, I can hardly imagine three weeks without the rain- lol.  Boy, those were some really difficult situations you shared.  But it sounds like you handled them with grace and dignity and in the end all was o.k.  Well done.

Charles- We have a quote of the day that we end every one of our morning meetings with.  Please send 'em over anytime you think of and run across them- much appreciated:-) and thanks for sharing.

Jan 31, 2008 02:22 PM #6
Jeff Kessler
Austin Homes, Realtors - Austin, TX

That is a great idea.  Get some more experience and help out the new people.


Jan 31, 2008 02:29 PM #7
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Rebecca Levinson, Real Estate Marketing and Online Advertising Consultant

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