Hope everyone likes 'em... Read on ol faithful one!
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it
> again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.
>
> (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as
> Miss America 1995.)
> Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
> Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
> because if we were suppo sed to live forever, then we would live
> forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
> forever,'
> --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
> world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but
> not with all those flies and death and stuff.'
> --Mariah Carey
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>
>'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
> your life,'
> -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for
> federal anti-smoking campaign .
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,'
> --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>
> 'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
> in the country,'
> --Mayor Marion B! arry, Wa shington, DC..
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
> 'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
> I'm just the one to do it,'
> --A congressional candidate in Texas.
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
> 'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
> --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
>
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
> 'I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.'
> -- Dan Quayle
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
> 'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?'
> --Lee Iacocca
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>
> 'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
> Norman Einstein.'
> --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst. <
> BR>,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>
'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
> people.'
> -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>
> 'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
> received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply
> if there is a change in your circumstances.'
> -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>
> 'Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.'
> --Keppel Enderbery
>
>
>
> 'If somebody has a bad heart , they can plug this jack in at night as
> they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And
> the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
> --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
>
>
>
> Feeling smarter yet?
>
** Hope you liked these!
Mark
www.markalkaseltzer.com
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