"Airplane" was a Real Estate Movie?

Title Insurance with Family Abstract, Inc.

I was fortunate enough to find some of the clips that were left on the cutting Airplaneroom floor after the movie Airplane was released.  I was amazed to learn that the original premise was Real Estate.  See how many of these "quotes" you remember from Airplane, the Leslie Nielson classic that started an entire genre of movies and television. This is for Rogers' Second Annual "Be The StarOf Your Own Movie Contest"

Buyers husband: You'd better tell the Realtor, we've got to be done with the walk through as soon as we can. We have to get to our settlement!

West Coast Realtor: A settlement? What is it?
Title Agent: It's East coast escrow, but that's not important right now.

Buyer: What kind of mortgage is it?
Mortgage rep:: Oh, it's a big pretty white mortgage with black letters, names in the front and numbers and it looks like a big lawsuit.

Leslie NielsonSettlement clerk: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Settlement clerk: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Settlement clerk: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Settlement clerk: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

Buyers agent to her buyer Nervous?
Buyer: Yes.
Buyers agent: First time?
Buyer No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Seller right before the closing: Can you cut your commission down to one percent?

Agent Surely you can't be serious.
Seller: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Buyers agent:You got a letter from your lender this morning.
Buyer: The Lender! What is it?
Buyers agent: It's the mortgage company that's loaning you the money, but that's not important right now.

Buyer: Johnny, what can you make out of this?
[Hands him the appraisal]
Appraiser:: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

Sellers agent How soon can you settle?
Escrow Officer: I can't tell.
Sellers agent: You can tell me. I'm the Realtor.
Escrow Officer:: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Sellers agent: Well, can't you take a guess?
Escrow Officer: Well, not for another two hours.
Sellers agent: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Mortgage Salesman: Reverse Mortgages are an entirely different kind of mortgage, altogether.
Buyers Agent, Sellers Agent, Buyer, Seller, Appraiser, Title Clerk [together] It's an entirely different kind of mortgage.

At the open house: Would you like something to read?
Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?
Realtor: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"

Buyers agent to the buyer:  Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry,  that's a dumb question... skip that.

At the broker meeting: "It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit"  (Bloggers note... That was a direct quote).

Realtor: I won't deceive you, Mr. Mucci We're running out of time, the buyer is on their way!.
Roger: Surely there must be something you can do.
Realtor: I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!

Being a title agent for 26 years I often feel like im stuck in that silver sardine can of Real Estate stuck somewhere between First class and no class. Airplane was one of my all time favorite movies, all I had to do was remember the lines "Industry Style".

In good health and Good fun!



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About Family Abstract, Inc.

Established in 2002, Family Abstract, Inc. provides Title Insurance to clients and customers throughout Florida, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania with more than 40 years of combined experience in management alone. We pride ourselves on retaining the most skilled and knowledgeable employees who share our goals of providing the best service in the industry.

Located in Horsham, Pennsylvania, Family Abstract, Inc. maintains an extensive network of skilled title insurance abstractors in all the states we service in addition to a nationwide network of qualified closing agents who are available to close loans at any location.

Backed by the strength of four title insurance underwriters, we are able to provide expert attention to detail without sacrificing versatility in the closing process, thus providing more options in difficult title situations. Due to our depth of industry knowledge and commitment to excellent service, Family Abstract, Inc. has been able to develop client relationships that have endured for decades.

Having successfully settled and insured thousands of transactions, we have already earned the trust and confidence of hundreds of customers, lenders, brokers, and realtors and now we would like to share our expertise with you!

Comments (35)

Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Very funny and very very clever!  Well done, Glenn!

Feb 18, 2013 01:45 AM
Hella Mitschke Rothwell
(831) 626-4000 - Honolulu, HI
Hawaii & California Real Estate Broker

Shirley, or whatever his/her name is, is pretty funny.

Feb 18, 2013 02:52 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Thank you Sharon, I appreciate it!

Feb 18, 2013 10:08 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Hella, My group of friends must have said that line for an entire year of middle school!

Feb 18, 2013 10:08 PM
Bill Dean
Haggerty Team St. Louis, Mo. - Fenton, MO
William Dean - Broker, Salesperson

Shirley,  this entry should win!   One of my favorites movies and you did a great job converting it to real estate!

Feb 20, 2013 02:58 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Bill, thanks for the vote of confidence.  Definitly one of my top movies.


Feb 20, 2013 03:09 AM
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Now other entries will have to earn that Oscar...this one goes to the front

Feb 22, 2013 07:44 AM
Dagny Eason
Dagny's Real Estate - Wilton, CT
Fairfield County CT, CDPE Homes For Sale and Condo

Definitely a great one, and should win!    Thanks!

Feb 23, 2013 06:03 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Richard, thanks a lot for your encouragment, I appreciate you.

Thanks Dagny, there were a lot of great ones, it was a great contest!

Feb 24, 2013 10:50 PM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

This is adorable and fully represents your great sense of humor.

Mar 03, 2013 08:47 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Glenn,

What an awesome entry into the contest!! I can see why you are in the running for Best Actor award..you look very distinguished in your designer tux on the red carpet! Good luck!!!

Mar 03, 2013 08:57 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Jill, thanks for that, that is very kind!

Dorie, I had no idea, thanks for the update!

Mar 03, 2013 11:23 PM
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Glenn, I could tell you've seen this movie a zillion times...so it came easy to you to edit in the right lingo...my favorite line,

"How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"

HYSTERICAL!!! My Jewish husband would crack up at that.

And I have used my own "don't call me Shirley" lines many times. This was so well done, Glenn! Congrats on being one of the nominees for Best Actor.

Mar 04, 2013 12:30 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Gayle, thanks and you are correct, I have seen it too many times not to be embarrassed by "how" many times.  Gayle, tell your husband you know know the story of Every Jewish Holiday... They Tried to Kill us, They didn't, Lets EAT! Thanks for stopping by,


Mar 04, 2013 12:39 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA
107,298 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Sharon, did an outstanding job, we should all give her 200 points with her incredible post.  I'd like to wish my co-nominees luck, I have read and enjoyed your blogs always.  Your entries into the contest were both excellent. 

"I haven't got a speech or anything but I did prepare a couple of lines......So I feel much more confident now"

"Let's not forget, in a way, all of you are winners today but in a much more literal way, most of you will be losers,"

"I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities."

"I used to think that awards were just tokens of momentary popularity. But now I realize they are the only true measure of a person's real worth as a human being. So, thank you."

"I'm nothing if not falsely humble,"

"I also want to share this with anybody who has a dream, because I am living my dream right here in this moment. If you have a dream, dream big; pursue it with a passion. In the words of the great storyteller Joseph Campbell, 'The adventure you're ready for is the one you get.' Life is short -- go for it!"

Good luck to everyone!

Mar 04, 2013 12:41 AM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

Now that you have already written your acceptance speech, can you stand behind me on the steps up to the podium and make sure I don't fall? Great job and be on my dance card!!!

Mar 04, 2013 05:44 AM
Tammie White, Broker
Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN
Franklin TN Homes for Sale

Glenn, congratulations on your nomination as Best Actor. Good luck at the awards ceremony. May the best man win.

Mar 04, 2013 05:49 AM
Shar Sitter
Rooms With Style - Minneapolis, MN
Home Staging and Redesign Minneapolis/ St. Paul, M

Hope you get some rest tonight awaiting the announcement in the morning! Sharon  You did a wonderful job picking out your tux for the red carpet! 

Mar 04, 2013 01:48 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Joanna, we have a date.

Tammie, that's a shoe in. we are all the best man!

Shar, She I  actually my wife picked it out.

Mar 04, 2013 11:45 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

Glenn, A great entry for sure! Aiplane is a classic and you did put a spin on it! Congrats on being 1 of 3 nominees!

Mar 05, 2013 06:59 AM

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