I was so angry that I could be in jail rather than typing this post

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Star View Real Estate CO: II100035296

How do you diffuse difficult situations?    Since I am very  easy going, I tend to dislike rants because I often feel like people are over reacting to minor situations.  Plus some times, the situation escalates and everyone involved ends up looking stupid.   Well, as it happens in life, when you look down upon other people thinking,I wouldn’t do something like that,” guess what happens?  You find yourself ranting AND looking silly at the same time. 

I know that I ended up looking silly but I’m going to share this story so that you can seriously consider how you might deal with your anger.   In my situation, I was so angry that I just might be sitting in jail right now rather than typing this post had I not watched a video, "Duel at the Mall."   It helped me keep my senses - sort of.      

 

Imagine two middle aged women driving opposite directions down a small street with unmarked lanes.  The street is one block long.  Had there not been stop signs at both ends, the street might be considered an alley.  If you want to drop off mail outside the US Post Office in downtown Colorado Springs, you have to go down one of two of these types streets.   

 

One woman seems to be convinced that she is on a one way street.  I am the other woman and I am confident that I am on a two way street.  (Remember, there are stop signs at both ends.)   When I see her coming, I pull over to the right hand side.  She also pulls over to the exact same side of the street.   Once again - we are about the same age.  Old enough to know what we are doing AND  young enough to know what we are doing. 

 

Both of us women were apparently in moods that would NOT be described as sweet and Christian like.    We both end up on the same side of the street, just a few feet apart, STARING each other down from our respective vehicles since our hand gestures to each other didn't work. 

 

As I’m in the middle of the “showdown,” I remembered the Dual at the Mall video that I saw in a divorce recovery class at church during an anger management discussion.    The point of the hilarious video – is that if you let things get out of hand – even if you were right; you will also lose.     

 

This woman and I were DANGEROUSLY close to letting things escalate just like happened in that video. Our faces could have been in that video.  I knew that it would be bad if someone was recording us on their cell phone:  Her sitting in my lane; her turning her car off; me turning mine off; me getting out and standing outside of the driver’s side window just waiting for her to roll her window down so I could politely point out the stop sign behind her.    I had just left the gym and my hair was dirty.   I took into account that I would hate to end up looking yucky in a video that went viral. 

 

 I know I was in the right.  Yet, she decided that I should go around her since she was further into the street.  She REALLY DID say that because I REALLY did get out and walk over to her window.   Oh….the not so nice thoughts that were running through my mind.    Oh…. the temptations.    How long could I sit there and wait her out?    What would happen if I just accidental bumped her, HARD, while driving around her?   My 4 door Jeep Wrangler was bigger than her car.   She was on MY side of the street.

 

Fortunately, that video clip kept popping into my mind.   One of the ladies in the video had a bumper sticker, “War is not the Answer.”   Her actions were just the opposite of the bumper sticker.  Granted, if I were to have a bumper sticker, it would say something along the lines, “War is Necessary because Freedom isn’t Free.”    Maybe I need to get that kind of bumper sticker?  Then people would think twice before messing with me. 

 

Ultimately, I gave in even though I really didn’t want to.   It aggravated me to no end that I had to back up a little bit and drive around her on HER side of the street.   However, I am sure that my insurance company is happy that my Jeep is still in once piece even though I may have cut it a little close even for my own comfort.  I'm also  glad that  I don’t have a real estate logos plastered on my Jeep.   Actually, this is the perfect example of why I don't want advertising on my Jeep.   You never know what you are going to get yourself into. 

 

Once I got home, I was thrilled to find the Dual video was on You Tube.   The video calmed me down,  cheered me up, and reminded me that I did the right thing.  I’m glad that I had seen the video since it actually helped me to keep a really stupid situation from escalating.   Also, knowing that someone might be capturing us on video was also a good deterrent.  Between cell phones and surveillance cameras - that is always a very real possibility. 

 

How would you handle your anger if/when someone makes you really mad over something stupid?

 

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Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Charita Cadenhead 03/09/2013 06:28 AM
  2. Praful Thakkar 03/10/2013 03:35 PM
Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Location:
Colorado El Paso County Colorado Springs Downtown
Groups:
Realtors®
"Whacked"!!!
Club Chaos
Diary of a Realtor
ActiveRain Contests
Tags:
anger management

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Rainmaker
908,388
Pamela Seley
West Coast Realty Division - Murrieta, CA
Residential Real Estate Agent serving SW RivCo CA

Sondra, I live in California so there is no point in road rage because we all have to deal with heavy traffic whether we like it or not. It makes a huge difference to let the other defer. The video was hilarious but shows how stupid it can be to let anger fuel to the point of self-destruction. Thanks for your post today,

Mar 09, 2013 04:40 PM #37
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Mar 09, 2013 09:13 PM #38
Rainmaker
1,513,892
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County

You never know who the other person is or what they have on their mind or in their car. When presented with a potential confrontation, avoidance is sometimes much more noble than being the victor!

Mar 09, 2013 09:38 PM #39
Rainmaker
1,942,665
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

You haven't got time for the pain, anger, or your deductible is too high. Loved the video! Emotions, we all can have a trigger, crank factor and get pretty darn snarky. It is not about you, me. It is about others. No matter how they drive and especially if they have blue hair. Son is driving a red jeep grand cherokee, look out for him. Last semester of Colorado College in C Springs underway and he drives like a hockey player defense man.

Mar 09, 2013 09:40 PM #40
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Amanda Christiansen
Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843 - Fort Wayne, IN
Christiansen Group Realty

It sounds like you did the right thing.  There are way more important things to worry about than this.  Well played.                  

Mar 09, 2013 10:24 PM #41
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Connie Harvey
Pilkerton Realtors - Brentwood, TN
Realtor - Nashville TN Real Estate

Sondra, yes seeing that video must have helped. It's amazing how our state of mind can make us do stupid things. Good for you for grabbing a hold of yourself and moving on.

Mar 09, 2013 10:41 PM #42
Rainmaker
442,453
Dianne Goode
Raleigh Cary Realty - Raleigh, NC
Realtor/Broker

Hi Sondra,  The video isn't playing; maybe I can find it on You Tube later.  I would have been right there with you until a few months ago, when I read a short little book called The Cow in the Parking Lot.  Since then, I've made a conscious effort to not let little things bother me.  I don't get over anger quickly, and one hostile encounter can effectively ruin the rest of my day!  Not worth it.

Mar 09, 2013 10:50 PM #43
Rainmaker
1,086,267
Greg Nino
RE/MAX Compass, formerly RE/MAX WHP - Houston, TX
Houston, Texas

I love this video. I think we all do. It's easy to lose your cool once in a great while, you wouldn't be human if you didn't. In fact, if you never lost it a little there might be something wrong with you. Just remember that if any of us catch a felony we run the risk of not getting our license renewed. Happy driving!

Mar 10, 2013 12:40 AM #44
Rainmaker
1,189,767
Lorrie Semler, REALTOR® in the Dallas area. Call/text 972-416-3417
United Real Estate - Addison, TX
Real Service. Real Results. Real Estate

A phone call to the non-emergency police number might have been in order.

Mar 10, 2013 01:46 AM #45
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Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner
Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 - Mission Viejo, CA
Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395

Oh we've all been there, the time when we can't just laugh off the stupid other person. But you're not in jail to fight live another day! :)

Mar 10, 2013 03:14 AM #46
Rainmaker
656,917
Joetta Fort
The DiGiorgio Group - Arvada, CO
Independent Broker, Homes Denver to Boulder

We've all been there!  I remember standing next to my new car with the even newer door dent, left by the gigantic white pickup truck parked next to me.  There was even a little white paint left on my car door.  I had my keys in my hand and seriously looked around to see if anyone would 'catch' me if I left him a little reciprocal damage.  Then I remember Who would see me no matter what, and moved on.  

Mar 10, 2013 04:16 AM #47
Rainmaker
215,180
Todd Anderson
You In Park City group - KW Park City Keller Williams Real Estate - Park City, UT
Park City | Deer Valley Real Estate

Always a good reminder to step back and "take a breath".

Loved the video.

Mar 10, 2013 07:38 AM #48
Rainer
286,625
Mark Montross
Catamount Realty Group - Burlington, VT
Listing and Buyer Specialist

This is a very useful post. I have already sent the video to two people. I am hoping that it prevents a personal situation from escalating. Maybe lending a little bit of humor will help.

Mar 10, 2013 08:01 AM #49
Rainmaker
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Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI
Eagle Ridge Realty / Signature Homes & Estates - Gilroy, CA
REALTOR and Broker
Breathe, breath, breath. Then, make a "sterilization gun" with your hand and zap them.. You won't kill or wound them, but you will have the satisfaction of knowing they can't breed.
Mar 10, 2013 08:04 AM #50
Rainer
255,053
Kim Gaston
RE/MAX Advantage Realty - Colorado Springs, CO
Colorado Springs REALTOR®, CNE (719)661-6987

Sondra, kudos to you for handling it like a trooper and doing the right thing. I hope I'd do the same, but I'm sure I'd have a few choice words just to vent to me, myself and I. Congrats on your gold star!

Mar 10, 2013 12:20 PM #51
Rainmaker
1,315,808
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Hun... - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource
Sondra, I'm here via Charita's reblog...not sure what I would have eventually done, but I think you handled yourself well.
Mar 10, 2013 12:24 PM #52
Rainmaker
464,056
Sondra Meyer:
Star View Real Estate - Colorado Springs, CO
See It. Experience It. Live It.

Hi, thank you all for stopping by.  I"m running very short on time tonight, but I'll try to stop by your posts within the next day or two.   I appreciate everyones understanding of the challenge I faced.  I'm glad the video was a hit also. 

Gary - the sterilization gun idea is priceless.  I love it. 

Greg-  I didn't even think about losing my license.  That lady was not worth ruining my career over.  Thank you for making such a good point. 

Kathy, thank you for the feature. 

Nick, thank you for taking the time to stop by after you saw Charitia's the re-blog.  That was nice of you. 

Lorrie, I'm glad that it didn't quit get to the point of calling the police. 

Mark, I hope the video helps the others diffuse their situation. 

Andrew, I'll watch out for your son.  I go drive through the College College area frequently.   Colorado College has an extremely good reputation.  When you come for graduation, maybe you will have a chance to say hi. 

Jordon - I could see a seen like this in Madea movie.  Those are so funny. 

 

 

Mar 10, 2013 01:28 PM #53
Rainmaker
996,379
Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

Sondra, when you get your next car consider this OPTION.

Mar 10, 2013 01:44 PM #54
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Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, Keller Williams Fox Cities - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Sorry to hear about your showdown at the post office, you did the right thing, but I also like the idea of one of those Trunk Monkeys that Kevin May is selling #54. 

Your video was great too!

Mar 11, 2013 03:19 PM #55
Rainmaker
1,304,395
Charles Stallions Property Manager
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pace, FL
Pensacola, Pace & Gulf Breeze Property Management

You did the right thing and I can only hope that I would in that situation. What comes to mind though is the guy that got out of his car, ran to the other persons window and was shot. Since the guy felt threatened he had every right to do so and was not even charged.

Mar 13, 2013 01:22 PM #56
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