I was so angry that I could be in jail rather than typing this post

Reblogger Charita Cadenhead
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty

First of all let me say that I am glad that Sonya didn't write this post from a Denver, Colorado jail.  On another serious note, in the daily course of doing our jobs, our tempers and temperances are tested on a regular basis.  How you chose to handle it is up to you, but as for me, my first inclination is to be the bigger person and let the other person just make a fool out of themselves if they want to.

Original content by Sondra Meyer: CO: II100035296

How do you diffuse difficult situations?    Since I am very  easy going, I tend to dislike rants because I often feel like people are over reacting to minor situations.  Plus some times, the situation escalates and everyone involved ends up looking stupid.   Well, as it happens in life, when you look down upon other people thinking,I wouldn’t do something like that,” guess what happens?  You find yourself ranting AND looking silly at the same time. 

I know that I ended up looking silly but I’m going to share this story so that you can seriously consider how you might deal with your anger.   In my situation, I was so angry that I just might be sitting in jail right now rather than typing this post had I not watched a video, "Duel at the Mall."   It helped me keep my senses - sort of.      

 

Imagine two middle aged women driving opposite directions down a small street with unmarked lanes.  The street is one block long.  Had there not been stop signs at both ends, the street might be considered an alley.  If you want to drop off mail outside the US Post Office in downtown Colorado Springs, you have to go down one of two of these types streets.   

 

One woman seems to be convinced that she is on a one way street.  I am the other woman and I am confident that I am on a two way street.  (Remember, there are stop signs at both ends.)   When I see her coming, I pull over to the right hand side.  She also pulls over to the exact same side of the street.   Once again - we are about the same age.  Old enough to know what we are doing AND  young enough to know what we are doing. 

 

Both of us women were apparently in moods that would NOT be described as sweet and Christian like.    We both end up on the same side of the street, just a few feet apart, STARING each other down from our respective vehicles since our hand gestures to each other didn't work. 

 

As I’m in the middle of the “showdown,” I remembered the Dual at the Mall video that I saw in a divorce recovery class at church during an anger management discussion.    The point of the hilarious video – is that if you let things get out of hand – even if you were right; you will also lose.     

 

This woman and I were DANGEROUSLY close to letting things escalate just like happened in that video. Our faces could have been in that video.  I knew that it would be bad if someone was recording us on their cell phone:  Her sitting in my lane; her turning her car off; me turning mine off; me getting out and standing outside of the driver’s side window just waiting for her to roll her window down so I could politely point out the stop sign behind her.    I had just left the gym and my hair was dirty.   I took into account that I would hate to end up looking yucky in a video that went viral. 

 

 I know I was in the right.  Yet, she decided that I should go around her since she was further into the street.  She REALLY DID say that because I REALLY did get out and walk over to her window.   Oh….the not so nice thoughts that were running through my mind.    Oh…. the temptations.    How long could I sit there and wait her out?    What would happen if I just accidental bumped her, HARD, while driving around her?   My 4 door Jeep Wrangler was bigger than her car.   She was on MY side of the street.

 

Fortunately, that video clip kept popping into my mind.   One of the ladies in the video had a bumper sticker, “War is not the Answer.”   Her actions were just the opposite of the bumper sticker.  Granted, if I were to have a bumper sticker, it would say something along the lines, “War is Necessary because Freedom isn’t Free.”    Maybe I need to get that kind of bumper sticker?  Then people would think twice before messing with me. 

 

Ultimately, I gave in even though I really didn’t want to.   It aggravated me to no end that I had to back up a little bit and drive around her on HER side of the street.   However, I am sure that my insurance company is happy that my Jeep is still in once piece even though I may have cut it a little close even for my own comfort.  I'm also  glad that  I don’t have a real estate logos plastered on my Jeep.   Actually, this is the perfect example of why I don't want advertising on my Jeep.   You never know what you are going to get yourself into. 

 

Once I got home, I was thrilled to find the Dual video was on You Tube.   The video calmed me down,  cheered me up, and reminded me that I did the right thing.  I’m glad that I had seen the video since it actually helped me to keep a really stupid situation from escalating.   Also, knowing that someone might be capturing us on video was also a good deterrent.  Between cell phones and surveillance cameras - that is always a very real possibility. 

 

How would you handle your anger if/when someone makes you really mad over something stupid?

 

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Rainmaker
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Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Charita.....many decades ago, that would have been called "the powder puff" derby.... it was a phase of a demolition derby event with women driving and demoliting other cars.... I get enraged when someone parks so close to me that they ding my door.... they deserve to be keyed.... not that I'd do anything like that!!  but they would deserve it....why can't people respect the property of others....

Mar 09, 2013 06:44 AM #1
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Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)

Barbara I was born in 1959.  I remember the powder puff derby.  I didn't even think of that when I watched the dual at the mall, but you are so, so right.  People can respect the property of others......they just don't.

Mar 09, 2013 06:52 AM #2
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Brenda Mullen
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX
Your San Antonio TX Real Estate Agent!!

That video was in a movie and I cannot remember the name of it.  It made me laugh out loud though and this post is soo  true lol :)!!

Mar 09, 2013 07:02 AM #3
Rainmaker
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Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Charita:  It sounds like Sondra controlled herself very well.  Now... if it was (or is it were) me... I might have gotten out of my car, walked over and wrote down her car license tag, and maybe taken a video of her car and my car... showing they had not "hit" each other.

I guess it would have depended on my mood.  But, then again, you never know what kind of mood SHE was in, and if she had a gun in her purse.  It's a crazy world we live in, and it seems to be getting worse.

And Barbara, keying someone's car is a great way to show them and the world that we should respect the value of other people's property.

Mar 09, 2013 12:31 PM #4
Rainmaker
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Sondra Meyer:
Star View Real Estate - Colorado Springs, CO
See It. Experience It. Live It.

Charita,

Thank you for the reblog. 

You are right, our tempers and patience are tested on a daily basis.  Sometimes more than others.  That is part of life.   Keeping a cool head is by far the best way to tackle our "challenges."  Personally, I know that I could have done better. 

Many people have pointed out that I was being unsafe even getting out and attempting to talk to the woman. 

 

Mar 09, 2013 12:32 PM #5
Rainmaker
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Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

As I wrote on Sondra's post, I'd rather have her "wrong-sider" then all the crazy ones I'm dealing with at the moment.  A HOA lawyer threatening to sue me over "notices" of lawn maintenance violations -- not even actual violations, just the "notices" -- the want over $1,000 from me and are threatening legal action if I don't pay them in 10 days.

Mar 09, 2013 01:40 PM #6
Rainmaker
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Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Hun... - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource
Charita, aside from the obvious I thought it was really funny when they guy pushing a grocery cart or buggy as they are called here in the south was walking faster than the cars were moving.
Mar 10, 2013 12:10 PM #7
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Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)
Brenda I could hardly stop laighing.
Mar 10, 2013 01:28 PM #8
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Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)
Karen Anne I believe our patience would surely have been test. We do have to consider the consequences of our actions.
Mar 10, 2013 01:30 PM #9
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Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)
Sondra props to you for being the bigger person.
Mar 10, 2013 01:33 PM #10
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Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)
Carla it seems like we are always faced with a challenge dode 't it?
Mar 10, 2013 01:36 PM #11
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Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)
I caught that too Nick and it made me think that I had saw it before.
Mar 10, 2013 01:41 PM #12
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