All Our Best Passover Wishes, with a few Jokes thrown in!

By
Title Insurance with Family Abstract, Inc.

I wish all my friends and friends of friends a Happy Passover.  From my Family at Family Abstract to you, all our best!

Enjoy some Passover humor!

 

Just in time for this year, a group of leading medical people has published data indicating that seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.

At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is "Let My People Go".

Lunch
______
A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park.
He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat
leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh,
a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.

A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the
blind man.

The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled,
and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"

Top Passover Pickup Lines
____________________________
* Let's make this night really different from all others nights.
* Want to wander through my desert?
* I've got a Ramses in my pockets, and I'm glad to see you
* Wanna look for MY afikomen?

 

2 quickies...

Q: Why do we have an Haggadah at Passover?
A: So we can Seder right words.

Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?
A: A matzochist

This is a little known tale of how G-d came to give the Jews the Ten Commandments.

G-d first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment. "What's a commandment?" they asked. "Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied G-d. The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends."

So then G-d went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also asked, "What's a commandment?" "Well," said G-d, "It's like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL." The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."

So finally G-d went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment.  They asked, "How much?"  G-d said, "They're free."

The Jews said, "Great! We'll take TEN!"

If you want to avoid an unwelcome Passover invitation, you can say you can't go because my wife has a yeast infection.

Viagra is banned during Pesach, along with all other agents causing things to rise.

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Posted by

About Family Abstract, Inc.

Established in 2002, Family Abstract, Inc. provides Title Insurance to clients and customers throughout Florida, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania with more than 40 years of combined experience in management alone. We pride ourselves on retaining the most skilled and knowledgeable employees who share our goals of providing the best service in the industry.

Located in Horsham, Pennsylvania, Family Abstract, Inc. maintains an extensive network of skilled title insurance abstractors in all the states we service in addition to a nationwide network of qualified closing agents who are available to close loans at any location.

Backed by the strength of four title insurance underwriters, we are able to provide expert attention to detail without sacrificing versatility in the closing process, thus providing more options in difficult title situations. Due to our depth of industry knowledge and commitment to excellent service, Family Abstract, Inc. has been able to develop client relationships that have endured for decades.

Having successfully settled and insured thousands of transactions, we have already earned the trust and confidence of hundreds of customers, lenders, brokers, and realtors and now we would like to share our expertise with you!

Comments (6)

Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Happy Passover, Henny errr I mean Glenn.   

Mar 25, 2013 06:33 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Thanks Michael!!

Mar 25, 2013 06:39 AM
Roger D. Mucci
Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092 - Euclid, OH
Lets shake things up at your home today!

Oi vai iz mir!  Happy Passover my friend.  Fun stuff.....I think I like "who wrote this crap?" a lot.

Mar 25, 2013 08:10 AM
Debbie Laity
Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

Happy Passover, Glenn. You always make me laugh, and I have to check in just to see what you will come up with next.

Mar 25, 2013 10:03 AM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

Hilarious!  Exactly what I needed to read after a one tough day at work!  Perfect ... thank you ...

Gene

Mar 25, 2013 11:55 AM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Most of these I had not heard. Thanks for sharing and Happy Passover.

Mar 26, 2013 06:37 AM