I wish all my friends and friends of friends a Happy Passover. From my Family at Family Abstract to you, all our best!
Enjoy some Passover humor!
Just in time for this year, a group of leading medical people has published data indicating that seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is "Let My People Go".
A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park.
He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat
leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh,
a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.
A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the
The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled,
and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"
Top Passover Pickup Lines
* Let's make this night really different from all others nights.
* Want to wander through my desert?
* I've got a Ramses in my pockets, and I'm glad to see you
* Wanna look for MY afikomen?
Q: Why do we have an Haggadah at Passover?
A: So we can Seder right words.
Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?
A: A matzochist
This is a little known tale of how G-d came to give the Jews the Ten Commandments.
G-d first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment. "What's a commandment?" they asked. "Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied G-d. The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends."
So then G-d went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also asked, "What's a commandment?" "Well," said G-d, "It's like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL." The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."
So finally G-d went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment. They asked, "How much?" G-d said, "They're free."
The Jews said, "Great! We'll take TEN!"
If you want to avoid an unwelcome Passover invitation, you can say you can't go because my wife has a yeast infection.
Viagra is banned during Pesach, along with all other agents causing things to rise.