You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat it Too

By
Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509
https://activerain.com/droplet/WgX

 

 

©Reflections of Memorial Day, by Patricia Feager, 5/25/2013

 

This is a day to honor those that serve and lay down their lives so that others may enjoy freedom. It is a day of reflection, an opportunity to give homage and respect to those families whose lives were changed because of the sacrifices and loss of loved ones. With cordial affection, I honor them.

 

I remember my grandfather. My mother told me as a young man, he bravely left his war torn country, his family and friends to come to America. He paid for his freedom by serving in World War 1. On Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day and on the 4th of July he wore his uniform. My mother had a series of pictures of me climbing up her father’s pant leg, my arms were stretched up and he reached out to me. I sat on his lap. He wore his Army hat, uniform and boots. Although he didn’t smile, I could see in the photographs that he held me lovingly. I was one of several grandchildren. He was a protector, a gentleman, a butcher and a veteran. During the Great Depression he stood in bread lines to feed his family of eight. As a hobby, he raised canaries. He loved life and family.

 

My father served in the U.S. Navy during World War 11. He drank like a sailor, swore like a sailor, had tattoos but caused no harm. When I was a child, my father would reach out his muscular arm and he let me do pull-ups. Sometimes he stretched out both arms and two kids were doing pull-ups at the same time. We watched Popeye the Sailor Man a lot. Family life was fun but the Cold War was chilling. My father was vigil, he paid attention to the news; read the morning and evening newspapers daily. My father stayed current on worldly affairs. The streets of Chicago were filled with rioting and bad news. Mayor Daley ordered, “Shoot to Kill!” America was going through a different type of war with the Civil Rights Movement – people were dying on the streets. My father taught me to be brave.

 

When I was a kid, my second cousin was one of the earliest casualties in Viet Nam. He was older than me, but not that old! We played together. On Memorial Day, our families met at the Cottage by the Lake. We roasted marshmallows, hotdogs, and grilled hamburgers together. I remember his funeral and watching people cry. After that, I never felt like a kid again.

 

At 16 years old, I started writing letters to a Soldier in Viet Nam. I wrote corny letters about how nervous I was about taking exams, being bummed out because I missed the ball and cost the team a point in Volley Ball, making spaghetti and baking a cake for the very first time, going to school dances and writing him which songs I liked to dance to. They were really dumb letters. Yet he embraced them. He wrote me back. He told me to stay in school and to get as much education as I can. He reminded me how great America is – it’s nothing like the jungle. Listen to your parents and teachers, “They are not as bad as you think!” He told me how lucky I was to be home – home, all he wanted to do, was come home. He begged me to send him the crumbs from my cake. I did!

 

I will never forget the sound of TAPS being played at his funeral. He was my penpal from Viet Nam, my husband, the father of my children, the man who never saw them grow up or graduate, get married or know when his first and only granddaughter born. I honor and respect all those who serve. 

 

On this Memorial Day Weekend, I reflect on my country, my past and the fact, that when it comes to Freedom, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too!”

 

 

 

 

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 dfw fine properties

 

DFW FINE PROPERTIES

                                        2900 W Southlake Blvd, Suite 180
                                        Southlake, TX 76092
                                        Office: 817-748-4800/FAX: 817-748-4900

                                         Patricia Feager
                                                        Cell: 469-951-4758

                                                        Email: patricia.feager@gmail.com

 

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Rainmaker
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Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Jane,

It's the good memories our deceased would want us to remember. The sun still shines on their graves, life goes on in the form of trees, plants, inventions and the reproduction of children. One never leaves this earth, part of them remains and their memories reside in our thoughts and in our hearts.

May 26, 2013 01:48 AM #59
Rainmaker
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Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Michael,

Thank you for your services to our country. Two tours of Nam was unimaginable... I know. I was privy to hear some of those stories from my husband's dying breath - it broke my heart. I also knew a man who served two tours of duty in Nam. The first time he came home walking on two legs; the second time he had none. Why? Not because of war but because of an incident that never should have happened. He did not get the purple heart, just a wheelchair.

May 26, 2013 01:53 AM #60
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Thanks Gita. I hope you have a nice weekend.

May 26, 2013 01:56 AM #61
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

James,

I think about it all the time. It isn't as easy to get published as you think. But I am grateful to all who appreciate reading what I have to say through my writing. It's a privilege to receive feedback. Thank you.

May 26, 2013 01:57 AM #62
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Sally & David,

Thank you! Memories can evoke emotion and awareness.

May 26, 2013 01:59 AM #63
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Brian,

I loved your poem. Children of parents that served, learn obedience and so much more!

May 26, 2013 02:01 AM #64
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Than,

Thank you for caring enough to read all about it. I appreciate it very much.

May 26, 2013 02:02 AM #65
Rainmaker
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Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Clint,

Thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I hope you have an extraordinary day.

May 26, 2013 02:03 AM #66
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Nina,

It's true what you say about the cost associated with sacrifice. Some pay the ultimate price; yet had they not, where would we be today? I'm not an advocate for war. I'm an advocate for peace, love, good family memories and the best times on earth, but it doesn't mean we should forget about those that lay down their lives for the gift of freedom.

If my grandfather wouldn't have left his war torn country, marched into battle in WW1 and survived, my mother wouldn't have been born.

If my mother wouldn't have been born, she couldn't have married my father who served in WW2, and I wouldn't have been born.

If I didn't marry a penpal from Viet Nam, my kids wouldn't have been born.

 

May 26, 2013 02:09 AM #67
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Michael,

Memories are not just perceptions, they are the reality of life once lived, how they lived, and what they did in life to make a difference.

Thank you.

May 26, 2013 02:10 AM #68
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Fernando,

I consider you a friend... you've been in the trenches and you know what it means to be free.

God bless you and your family.

May 26, 2013 02:12 AM #69
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Fernando,

P.S. I consider you to be an inspiration.

May 26, 2013 02:12 AM #70
Rainmaker
1,877,841
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Edward and Celia,

I almost forgot to mention, I have two nephews that served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Luckily, they both survived and came back home.

I believe Memorial Day is a day to illuminate and remember the family stories of those who served, remembering them with honor, in our thoughts and to reflect upon who we are because of them. They were brave, courageous, followed orders, did what they had to do. Some survived; others did not. It's a special day set aside to remember all who served our country. They changed the course of history for the American people. Soldiers come from all walks of life, they were someone's mother or father, grandparent, sibling, cousin, friend or acquaintance. They were only human and they left us a legacy. For me, they live within the chambers of my heart.

May 26, 2013 02:21 AM #71
Ambassador
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Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

This weekend, we are remembering our 21 year old nephew who died last year in Afghanistan. This is a very somber time - and also time to be appreciative. Young Eugene decided to join the military when he was still a young boy and saw the Twin Towers fall -

You are so right Patricia, "You can't have your cake and eat it too."

May 26, 2013 03:17 AM #72
Rainmaker
509,740
Lisa Friedman
Great American Dream Realty - Essex, VT
29 Years of Real Estate Experience!

OMG Patrica, your post made me cry. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and your second cousin. I have always agreed with the phrase, "Freedom is not free" and I always thank a veteran.  Your post was beautifully written and very touching.

May 26, 2013 02:53 PM #73
Rainmaker
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Roger D. Mucci
Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092 - Euclid, OH
Lets shake things up at your home today!

Without a doubt, the most poignant post I've read about Memorial Day.  You, my friend have a heart of gold and a gift for writiing that you so unselfishly share with all of us.  Thank you, and be well!

May 26, 2013 10:01 PM #74
Rainmaker
3,672,911
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good afternoon Patricia,

OMG..I find it hard to commet so I'm going to say Roger said it better than I could....you are a gem and I thank you for sharing this story with us today..God Bless.

May 27, 2013 03:44 AM #75
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Hi Patricia, on this Memorial Day observance a very meaningful real life experience of your growing up and your husband's impact in your life from serving. Thanks for such personal sharing.

May 27, 2013 04:32 AM #76
Rainmaker
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Kathleen Daniels
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist

Patricia, Such a well-written and heart-felt post. I got a lump in my throat and tears just rolled from my eyes. This is such a beautiful tribute to your friend, husband and father of your children.   I agree with Roger as well.

May 27, 2013 04:59 AM #77
Rainmaker
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Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney) - Orange, CA
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660

Oh Patricia, I think you won everyone's affection--and certainly mine--with these extraordinary and poignant stories, punctuated by the remarkale tale of your husband.   Thank you so much for sharing this!   

Warmest regards,  Brian

May 27, 2013 12:56 PM #78
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