Would you rather be Right or Happy?

By
Education & Training with Advantage Solutions Group

 

 
 When I ask people this question they usually say ,"Well, BOTH, of course!!!!"
 
I still vividly remember 30+ years ago when I was in a self improvement seminar and the presenter was talking with a man about some issues that he had with his mother. He and his mother had stopped speaking to each other. The trainer asked the man if he would rather be right or have a mother. BANGO!!!!!
I immediately thought about my relationship with my previous two husbands…For me, it had been all about being right and I lost both relationships. I was ready to do it differently, but giving up being right looked like forsaking some important part of who I was.
However, when I really saw the high cost of what I was doing..killing off people and relationships….I was ready to see another possible way of approaching it.
 
Would I rather be right or happy?
 I am grateful for that insight and know I wouldn't have had the 35 years with husband, Bub, if I'd continued to be rigid in my view. He would have been ex-husband #3 !!! 
 
There are times the battle isn't worth fighting! 
And, as I get wiser (and older) there are more and more of these!
 
 
There are times when insisting I am right (even when I am!) isn't worth the harm to the relationship! Almost Always!
There are times that happy is just a better place to be! 
This one is also…Almost Always!
 
Would I rather be right or happy?
 Life is short. You never know how much time you've got. I am more appreciative of this than ever these days. I'm missing the friends that I am losing! Last month, a WCR friend, Jeri Jorgenson and a personal friend, Mike Speiss, passed away within days of each other... reminding me to be grateful each morning when I wake up on this side of the grass! I especially don't want to leave unsaid words to express my love to those who are special to me or to leave a conversation in a bad way. What if I never saw that person again?
 
Lastly, I know what shows up in my reality has some lesson attached to it (like it's really a gift) I need to learn….so I am trying to find it when those situations happen!
Recently, when another agent yelled at me, accused me of being dishonest and unethical…it took me a few hours to stop my outrage and righteousness and ask myself why this was showing up. I realized she loved this industry as much as I did and when she saw something she thought hurt the industry, she became passionate. I had to appreciate that and love her for it. She felt her interpretation was right (even though it wasn't according to our MLS research) and wanted to make the industry better. Although, as my wonderful broker said,"I thought we were supposed to work together" rather than getting abusive…..It was a good lesson in remembering to take responsibility and see that I had a choice in my reactions. Besides, I was getting lots of agreement with others in making her wrong that just kept the negative energy going round and round. Once I realized she was just fighting for something she believed in, I could just be happy instead of victimized!
 
Would you rather be right or happy? Is there anywhere in your life or anybody where things are strained? Can you forgive or just accept and be a little happier? Can you say I'm sorry first? Can you forgive?
 
Life is Too Short to not be Happy!
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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Gabe Sanders 06/02/2013 08:42 PM
Topic:
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Groups:
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Inspiration !!
POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul
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Tags:
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joeann fossland
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Rainer
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Kevin A. Guttman-Author, Reverse Mortgage Advisor
NMLS#384936 - Colorado Springs, CO
877-251-9709

This is priceless.

Good advice, we don't always have to be right!

Thanks for posting!

Kevin

May 30, 2013 06:24 AM #1
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Joeann- this is such good advice for all of us in all situations.  A good friend of mine taught me to "pick my battles".  You don't have to win everything.  

Jun 01, 2013 06:23 AM #2
Ambassador
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Jun 01, 2013 11:29 AM #3
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Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group
Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001 - Gaithersburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

I'm so glad that I came by from Kathy's feature. . 

I'm your next subscriber for sure. .

Amazing how a simple question can be so impacting. .

I wish I could send this to my ex-wife.

Thank you for the lesson. .

Jun 01, 2013 10:55 PM #4
Rainmaker
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Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

There's a skill to being right and happy simultaneously and that's by knowing you can't always have both Joeann.   

Jun 02, 2013 02:14 AM #5
Rainmaker
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Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Kevin! Thanks for coming by and thanks for commenting! As you know...I so agree!

Jun 02, 2013 03:52 AM #6
Rainmaker
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Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Kathy!!!!
What a great idea! Thanks for choosing me today!!! You ROCK!!!

Jun 02, 2013 03:53 AM #7
Rainmaker
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Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Thanks Fernando! Love to have new subscribers!!!

Jun 02, 2013 03:53 AM #8
Rainmaker
2,051,937
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Wow....great question.  One that not many people really take to heart.  We all will learn eventually the price of insisting on being right.

Jun 02, 2013 04:45 AM #9
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Fabulous blog by one of my very favorite people. And you picked my 45 anniversary to share these words of wisdom. Thank you, my friend. 

Jun 02, 2013 12:04 PM #10
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Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)

This is a wonderful post.

Jun 03, 2013 01:04 AM #11
Rainmaker
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Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents
Sharon, I wish the cost became apparent to everyone, but, sadly, some people spend their whole life killing relationships because they are right ( in their perception!) Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Jun 03, 2013 11:54 AM #12
Rainmaker
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Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents
Margaret ...you are one of my heros! Congratulations on 45 years! It takes work to make that happen! Love you!
Jun 03, 2013 11:55 AM #13
Rainmaker
314,055
Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents
Thanks Charita!
Jun 03, 2013 11:59 AM #14
Rainmaker
951,527
Beth and Richard Witt
Long Island Cash Home Buyer - Huntington, NY
Long Island Cash Home Buyer 516-330-6940

Thanks to Kevin's re-blog I got to come over and enjoy you post... Great advice for all... Thank you!

Jun 04, 2013 05:19 AM #15
Rainmaker
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Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Richard and Beth! Thanks to you (and to Kevin!) 

 

Jun 06, 2013 04:24 AM #16
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