It is High School- First You Have to Date - Then You Can Buy!

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Capital Properties DC AB15253


Remember when you were in high school? You dated - maybe you fell heavily in like - you might even have thought that you were "in love" but most of you knew that you were not really in love.  The likelihood was pretty strong that you would not marry that boy (or girl) that made your heart beat faster at the sound of hello or the touch of a hand.  

You knew that that stage of your life - the high school dating stage - is devoted to trying on different people - and to finding out who you really were.  It is a wonderful period of self discovery that cannot - or at least should not - be rushed.  You also knew that it was ultimately only dating.  You were not looking for the love of your life - high school is not the time to find the love of your life - it is a time for self discovery. Most of us know the expression - Marry in haste- repent in leisure! 

I tell my buyer clients that before they can seriously start looking at homes, that they have to go through the equivalent period of house hunting. They have to look for a few weeks in a dispassionate manner. They have to try on neighborhoods, home styles, school districts, and grocery stores. They have to see if they are condo people or townhouse or splits in the suburbs.  Do they need to be within walking distance of the metro (or T if you live in Boston) or are they okay with a 30 minute commute? 

Only after a week or two of exploring their pre-conceived wants and needs within the context of the real market, do we get serious about looking for that dream house.  After they have seen an assortment of houses in the early weeks they have a much better sense of what is a good house for them. They know what prices are like in the areas they want to live in. They have a refined sense of what they are looking for.  Then when the perfect house comes along, they know it -and they are prepared - and confident - to pull the trigger and make a strong offer that is more likely to get them the house of their dreams.  By slowing it down in the beginning, we are ready to go - full speed ahead - when it really matters - and there is a lot less buyer remorse - because they know the market and their own minds. 

Another benefit is that by my encouraging them to go slow in the beginning, my clients know that I am not just looking at them as a commission check that I am trying to cash as quickly as possible.  They understand that their interests are my interests. 

If you are in the market for a new home in the DC metro area, give the Lise Howe Group of Keller Williams Capital Properties a call at 240-401-5577. When you use us to find your new home, you will be pleased to find out that the transaction is "all about you!" 


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Chris and Dick Dovorany
Homes for Sale in Naples, Bonita Springs and Estero, Florida - Naples, FL
Broker/Associate at Premiere Plus Realty

Very nice post and congratulations on the feature.  We try to go slowly with buyers in our market but a huge percentage of the time, they buy the first one.  It's is although a 2nd home market and I believe they just want to get it over and start to play.

Jun 21, 2013 11:18 PM #17
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Good post and YES..on both counts. Courting should come back in full and its benefits are too numerous to list and buying a home should be researched in detail before beginning the adventure...thank you

Jun 21, 2013 11:37 PM #18
Brenda Mayette
Miranda Real Estate Group, Inc. - Glenville, NY
Getting results w/ knowledge & know-how!

Very good advice and a great analogy.... As long as the clients aren't as stubborn as I was in high school and wait 3 years before pulling the plug on the relationship I knew wasn't right!  ;)

Jun 22, 2013 12:11 AM #19
Graziella Bruner
NCS Premier Real Estate - Detroit, MI
Associate Broker - Serving Wayne & Oakland County

Great analogy and good advice.  Most buyers know as soon as they walk in the door if they're ready to write the offer on that home.

Jun 22, 2013 12:22 AM #20
Laura Filip
Laura Filip Broker , Opening doors for All Seasons of Life - Whitesboro, TX
What can we do for you today?

Great post thank you for sharing have a blessed day

Jun 22, 2013 12:39 AM #21
Carol Zingone
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Florida Network Realty - Jacksonville Beach, FL
Global Realtor in Jax Beach, FL - ABR, CRS, CIPS
Great analogy - it's tough for buyers to understand how to properly suss out homes/communities that are right for them....
Jun 22, 2013 12:39 AM #22
Ymeki Stevens
Keller Williams Realty Partners - Woodstock, GA

Great post! I like they way you analyzed the situation.

Jun 22, 2013 01:03 AM #23
Rosie Moore
Serving Sugar Land, Richmond, Rosenberg, Missouri City - Sugar Land, TX

This is an awesome post! This "dating" analogy can also be applied to agents and potential clients.  I got a lead through my Active Rain blogging from a potential client who wants to sell and buy a house. Right now, we are in the early stages of "dating."  We are emailing each other back and forth. Hopefully, this will result in an appointment. I don't want too move too fast. Pacing the relationship is important just like dating!

Jun 22, 2013 01:21 AM #24
Carla Freund
Keller Williams Preferred Realty - Raleigh, NC
Carolina Life RealEstate & Relocation 919-602-8489

Lise, When I have buyers frustrated because they can't find the right home, I remind them sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find the prince.

Jun 22, 2013 01:34 AM #25
Ed & Tracy Oliva
West USA Realty - Arizona - Fountain Hills, AZ
The Oliva Team Arizona Agents

Very fun and so true. Have a great weekend

Jun 22, 2013 01:52 AM #26
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Start slow, educate and be educated...then you are ready. Sometimes the excitement of the hunt overwhelms buyers.

Jun 22, 2013 03:12 AM #27
Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI
Eagle Ridge Realty / Signature Homes & Estates - Gilroy, CA
REALTOR and Broker
Great story. I always encourage people to look at all possibilities. I have had clients fall in love with EVERY house I show them...the downside to this is that they may be set up for disappointment if their offer does not get accepted. But, I love their enthusiasm.
Jun 22, 2013 03:33 AM #28
Harry F. D'Elia III
RentVest - Phoenix, AZ
Investor , Mentor, GRI, Radio, CIPS, REOs, ABR

There are some buyers that are afraid to pull the trigger. They need support and more education so they make an informed decision.

Jun 22, 2013 03:49 AM #29
Dick and Dixie Sells
Sells Real Estate, LLC - Trinity, FL
Realtors, Tampa Bay Florida Homes For Sale

Congrats on the feature. True, sometimes what a person thinks they want is just not what they really want. True in dating and true in house hunting!

Jun 22, 2013 04:14 AM #30
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

I love the metaphor Lise!  There is a season for everything, and we rush we rush.

The phrase I put on the bottom of all my emails is "Festina Lente," - make haste slowly.

Jun 22, 2013 04:14 AM #31
Tammie White, Broker
Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN
Franklin TN Homes for Sale

Lise, I usually hit it hard in the beginning. Not because I'm trying to rush the process but so they know the right house when the see it. Our market is pretty aggressive right now. If buyers take their time, they might lose out on the house of their dreams.

Jun 22, 2013 04:47 AM #32
Rob Thomas
Prestige Homes of The Tri Cities, Inc. CALL....423-341-6954 - Bristol, TN
Bristol TN-VA & Tri Cities Agent, ABR, GRI, e-Pro

Great post! I have had buyers fall in like with the first house they look at ... I always encourage them to look at everything that's out there so they will not be sorry later!

Have a great night


Jun 22, 2013 07:13 AM #33
Hella Mitschke Rothwell
(831) 626-4000 - Honolulu, HI
Hawaii & California Real Estate Broker

"Trying out neighborhoods" is something that cannot be done in front of a computer, and I feel that is essential. Often buyers wonder why one house is so much less than another; well, look at the neighborhood, the value of the other homes, etc. So if you don't like the neighborhood for the "cheap" house, well, that's your answer, don't even look there. I call it "lifestyle".

Jun 22, 2013 08:27 AM #34
Jimmy Faulkner
Florida. Homes Realty & Mortgage - Wantagh, NY
The Best Of St. Augustine

Superb analogy about high school dating and buying a home. You have to get to know neighborhoods and location first and then start picking homes you like. It is a slow process and allow it to take hold.

Jun 22, 2013 11:26 AM #35
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Brilliant analogy!  Congrats on the well deserved Feature!  It took me one day of house hunting before finding "the one" and there was no doubt.  It was love at first sight!

Jun 23, 2013 09:22 PM #36
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Lise Howe

Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC
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