I even went so far as to look up the definition of the word failure

By
Home Builder with Long Island Cash Home Buyer

 What was the Greatest Mistake You Ever Made???

 

 

I’ve searched long and hard for this one, (A Contest)  I mean how do you define your greatest mistake after you’ve spent 75 years on this planet??

 I even went so far as to look up the definition of the word mistake:

1.       An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness

2.       A misconception or misunderstanding

3.       To understand wrongly; misinterpret: mistook my politeness for friendliness

4.       To recognize or identify incorrectly: He mistook her for her sister

So after much thought I would say that I’ve made a ton of mistakes and most all of them lead me to a better place because each one taught valuable lessons.

 I would say that the biggest mistake I ever made was marrying a man that would leave me when I was diagnosed with Systemic  Lupus because he could not stand to stay and watch me die.  (His words) That was 40 years ago…  (I could write an entire book about this experience and how I manage to still live with it) I am very proud to say that I never went on disability, thank God because that would have crippled me for life.

My  biggest mistake was a mistake of judgment ( I married a man that I believed to be a man of character) and that mistake put  me and my 3 sons into a Shit Storm for 5 years. (Another book… trust me some of the things  we went through could not have been made up)    

We went from being very comfortable folks, full time help, beautiful home, country clubs you name it to barely being able to come up with enough money to eat… yes when he left he promised to support us but I was suppose to die quickly!!!   I was so mad that I decided I would out live him no matter what it took and although I have forgiven him I still plan to out  live him. (In fact my goal is 100 un less he lives longer)

This  mistake cost great pain to my sons and to me – watching your children suffer is maybe one of the most painful things we are ever asked to endure. (Another book, a sad book but a it would have a happy ending)

I went from full time help caring for me and my family in our 6000 sq ft home  to working in a factory and I went there in my mink coat. (LOL) Thank God for all my jewelry which I sold as needed and was grateful that I had so much of it. I had a very wealthy very loving father-in-law but I refused to take money from him. I will not lie and say knowing that he was there was not always a comfort but I never took money from him. Love and support yes, money no.

I learned what it was like to have to say “We can’t afford that kids”  and I learned that I never want to have to say that again…. Ever….. I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor… I’ll take rich any day of the week over poor… it doesn’t necessarily make you happy to be rich but it sure gives you a lot of options…. 

Had I never made this mistake I would have never gotten into real estate, I would have never known the feeling of being a financially independent woman and most of all I would have never meet the most amazing man in the world “Rich Witt”… 32 years later I still thank God for him every day of my life. He is still my very best friend and I totally adore him so thanks to “RC” I share my life with Rich.  I also got three amazing sons from this big mistake. I call them “SUNS”… because when they are near their light shines  brighter than any Sun in the shy and their beauty and warmth engulf me.  How blessed am I and now I have 4 amazing Grandchildren.  All of which I would not have had if I had not made this mistake.

My sons paid the greatest price for my mistake but after the first 5 years they never had another financial problem, all went to college on Mom one went to Medical school on Mom and all are financially successful, kind men of character. They are good fathers and loving husbands that would never leave their wives because they know from experience  the pain that divorce causes to all members of the family.

So did I make a mistake in marrying “RC”… yes… Was it the biggest and best mistake I ever made… yes… Did it teach me volumes and lead me onto paths that I would have never taken were it not for a mistake in character judgement…. Yes…. And I thank God for giving me the spirit to fight and endure all that I had to endure the seemingly impossible times which made it possible for me to eventually  live and appreciate the beautiful awesome life that I live today!

With this mistake I proved this to myself:  "When the going gets tough the tough must get going".

Happy Day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ambassador
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Florida Tolbert Team Keller Williams Advantage
Keller Williams Advantage III Realty in Lake Nona - Orlando, FL
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Beth,

I can still hear the anger in your words and no, you have not forgiven.  I know his hurt was immeasurable, but God says the hardest thing to do is forgive and it will bring you the greatest peace in your heart when you do.  I will say that I completely agree with what you said and I can preach a similar be it not medical about a certain UNSUPPORTIVE EXWIFE who left when the going got tough.

When I saw this contest and as much as I love my Active rain bonus points, I made a promise to myself that I could not and would not participate in this particular contest and I will share with you why.

I have spent many hours of therapy and nearly 3 years fighting my divorce before I finally gave in and let that chapter in my life close.

I have now spent another 4 years, relocating far away from the home I loved, short selling our homes, and restarting my life many miles away.

And I did all this because the very thought of this woman brings out anger that could make Mr Hyde look like a pussy cat. 

I have found much peace and the world is a much better place the more zipcodes between us and my soul and my spirit are much calmer when I try to keep that chapter closed and I don't think about it, so while I would love to write this contest, I cannot undo all the healing I have gone thru just for a couple of thousand points. 

I am so glad you have found Richard and you guys are truly powerful in your inspiration and obvous support of each other and so many others.

I am so blessed to have reconnected with a wonderful high school friend and I have found a partner that truly supports my dreams rather than destroys them and mocks them. 

God never gives us more than we can handle and most of the time just enough to strengthen us.

He will never let us walk alone.  You remember that and the rest is just rubbish. 

God's love will bring us thru and he says the hardest thing is foregiveness but the reward is a renewed spirit.

Let out the anger and make room for the LOVE.  I have and for this reason I cannot go back and stir it up again. 

Jun 26, 2013 12:29 PM #1
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Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, Keller Williams Fox Cities - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Beth, God has a plan and He is working it is you, I see the work that you do and though saddened by the rough road that got you to where you are today, I know that it was probably necessary to help you to grow into the woman that you are today.

Jun 26, 2013 01:37 PM #2
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Joe Petrowsky
Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709 - Manchester, CT
Your Mortgage Consultant for Life

You are an amazing woman. From reading your post, what immediately came up for me, was to apologize for all the stupid men on this earth, sure there are stupid women as well. It is my responsibility, you husband as well, to be an example for other men.

I adore my wife of 43 years and am thankful each and everyday that we are together.

Thank you for sharing some of your history with all of us.

Jun 26, 2013 09:29 PM #3
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Beth, Through the fire steel is hardened and made sharper.  You survived to thrive.

Jun 27, 2013 06:28 AM #4
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Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
Samsel & Associates - Clark, NJ
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate

Good morning Beth - Tough times make us stronger. What a story!

Jun 27, 2013 11:03 PM #5
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Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

In my mind, it's no coincidence the choices we make and where they lead us.  Thanks for the entry.

Jun 30, 2013 02:41 AM #6
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Beth and Richard Witt

Long Island Cash Home Buyer 516-330-6940
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