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Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

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Title Insurance with Family Abstract, Inc.

 

So what does Lovemaking Tips for seniors have to do with Title Insurance at Family Abstract, I have no idea, but I hope you like them! 
 
1.  Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2.  Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off  in the middle.

3.  Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5.  Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6.  Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7.  Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
8.  Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

9.  If it works, call everyone you know with the good  news!!
 
10.  Don't even think about trying it twice
 . . . . . .  . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . .  .
  'OLD' IS  WHEN...

Your  sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,'  and  you answer,  'Pick one; I can't do  both!'

'OLD' IS  WHEN... Your  friends compliment you on your new alligator  shoes and
 you're  barefoot.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...
Going  bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your  face.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...You  don't care where your spouse goes, just as long  as you  don't have  to go along.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...You  are cautioned to slow down by  thedoctor instead of  by the  police.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...'Getting  a little action' means you don't need to take  a  laxative  today.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...'Getting  lucky' means you find your car in the parking  lot..

'OLD' IS  WHEN...An 'all  nighter' means not getting up to use the  bathroom.

'OLD' IS  WHEN...You're  not sure if these are facts or  jokes.
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Make it a great day from my family at Family Abstract to yours, all our very best!
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About Family Abstract, Inc.

Established in 2002, Family Abstract, Inc. provides Title Insurance to clients and customers throughout Florida, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania with more than 40 years of combined experience in management alone. We pride ourselves on retaining the most skilled and knowledgeable employees who share our goals of providing the best service in the industry.

Located in Horsham, Pennsylvania, Family Abstract, Inc. maintains an extensive network of skilled title insurance abstractors in all the states we service in addition to a nationwide network of qualified closing agents who are available to close loans at any location.

Backed by the strength of four title insurance underwriters, we are able to provide expert attention to detail without sacrificing versatility in the closing process, thus providing more options in difficult title situations. Due to our depth of industry knowledge and commitment to excellent service, Family Abstract, Inc. has been able to develop client relationships that have endured for decades.

Having successfully settled and insured thousands of transactions, we have already earned the trust and confidence of hundreds of customers, lenders, brokers, and realtors and now we would like to share our expertise with you!

Comments (6)
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Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

Oy, the "old" jokes are getting too  close for comfort! Enjoy the day Glenn!

Jul 08, 2013 12:05 AM
Roger D. Mucci
Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092 - Euclid, OH
Lets shake things up at your home today!

Luckily, at 63 I can't relate quite yet, and with any luck, it will be quite a while before I do.  Can I appreciate the humor?  You bet your A$$ I can.

Jul 08, 2013 12:21 AM
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

Thanks for the smiles. I still have a few more years before they become facts.

Jul 08, 2013 02:28 AM
Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Glenn -- the first "old" comment just shows that they didn't plan ahead and buy a rambler!!!

Jul 08, 2013 05:17 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hi Glenn -- why do I feel there should have been a rim-shot included with this post?   

Jul 08, 2013 05:45 PM
Brad MacKenzie
Brad MacKenzie - Duxbury, MA
Turning Houses into Homes on the South Shore

Luckily, all these jokes still seem a bit "abstract" to me. I hope it's still funny when I "get" them.

Jul 10, 2013 12:23 AM
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Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!

Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!

Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.

By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!

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