Real Estate Agent with Douglas Elliman Real Estate 30HA0800896


As many of you have noticed, I have updated my photo on my profile here at AR and by the looks of it--I waited too long!

I can't explain why, but updating my profile picture was one of the more difficult things I have had to do as an adult. It took me a total of 3 years to get another photo taken that reflects me today and then it took me weeks to get the nerve up to actually use it and delete the older photo...

Why is that??? What made it so difficult to make the change? Is it that I became so accustomed to that old photo that I thought that it WAS me? I am stumped and a little embarrassed that I went through all that ---over a stupid photo!

"It's Just A Photo Stupid!"...rings in my ears, especially after reading the comments on my last post where some of my AR Member friends gave me the ole' raspberry: Lenn says "Who are you and what have you done with Paula Hathaway?" ....which put me in spasms of laughter---(She must have a sense of what I went through!)....and Margaret Goss says: "A whole new you !" and Anna Banana says: "Like your new photo--very cool!"

Now these are all very nice comments on the new photo I put up and I love that they were so supportive--I felt good OUT WITH THE OLD--IN WITH THE NEWabout finally having done it---but I question why the comments? Is it that different than my old one? I look like an old lady now? Did I look ridiculous before with my helmet hair??? Oh No! I can't stand it when I make a change that takes real back bone to face the music!

I am wondering how many other members go through that anguish....Is it just me?....a personality flaw that is so rare that mental health authorities have no way of treating it---they are just as stumped just as I am!

I do recall a time when I was 4 or 5 and my Uncle Don came to our house with his brand new camera--"I'm going to take a snap-shot; everybody line up!"....and I ran like the dickens to hide. I thought he was going to shoot us!!!

No, that was too long ago!

Now I have done it; I took the steps required to get a new profile picture up on AR and all my other profiles,  and I am looking at the older photo, I really wonder why I let it slide for so long---I think I learned something valuable with this experience:



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Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Steven: But "It's Just A Photo" and I will not say the other word because I don't know you but I am sure you are not stupid!!! Especially after losing 60lbs--I can't wait to see the new photo and the new you!!! Go for it so we can all share in the freeing feeling you will get from changing your photo!

Jul 09, 2013 01:05 PM #10
Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

Oh gosh Paula . . . it reminds me that I was going to change my photo . . . two birthdays ago!  You look mah-ve-lous and I like you Sr. Licensed Broker Assoc. too.  Both are very distinguished!

Jul 09, 2013 01:10 PM #11
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Carla: Thank you and I wish you good luck with getting your profile photo updated--I truly don't know why I waited so long; it was so far past due that it really is embarrassing! You will love the felling of accomplishment!

Jul 09, 2013 01:17 PM #12
Larry O'Sullivan
Sandy, UT

Paula - nice one, lots of youthful maturity. I'm always being told that I don't look like my picture (must be the addition of a shaggy bread), but I'm the same.

Jul 09, 2013 03:11 PM #13
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Paula, as one of my partners is a professional photographer I think about this. We have a group shot that we change out, but my own headshot... well.. I was ready to do so after he insisted on doing our other partners. But he told me to keep mine, that I still look like that. Sort of, LOL.

I will rethink, despite what he says. Yes, it is just a stupid photo is right! And you are lookin' good!

Jul 09, 2013 09:01 PM #14
Ginny Gorman
RI Real Estate Services ~ 401-529-7849~ RI Waterfront Real Estate - North Kingstown, RI
Homes for Sale in North Kingstown RI and beyond

Paula, i love the post ...some people are so great with pictures and the rest of us struggle with doing them...toooo funny!

Jul 09, 2013 09:34 PM #15
Jeffrey DiMuria 321.223.6253 Waves Realty
Waves Realty - Melbourne, FL
Florida Space Coast Homes

I change my photo quite a bit...but I do not really care...your new one looks great...mine is never going to look

Jul 09, 2013 10:23 PM #16
Kathy Sheehan
Bay Equity, LLC 770-634-4021 - Atlanta, GA
Senior Loan Officer

I think it is important to update photos regaularly....and as I write this, I realize it may be time for me to have another one taken.

Jul 09, 2013 10:40 PM #17
Carie Shapiro
North Shore Suburbs & Chicago Real Estate - Evanston, IL

Good Morning Paula,

I just recently updated my photo too.  I like having a photo that looks like me.  Actually, I've changed my photo 3 times since joining ActiveRain.  I guess I feel the opposite way ... I tend to agonize over having a photo that doesn't depict an accurate representation of me.  Of course, photo editing software does help to take off a couple of years ... but still :)


Jul 10, 2013 12:40 AM #18
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Larry: How could that be? I guess a beard would make a difference... :)

Andrea: Thank you ! I think if you  think it is a good idea, then it is a good idea!

Ginny: I knew you all would enjoy my frustration with getting it together to getter done!

Jeffery: Now, dust a minute! Look at you! How could you  take a bad photo? I want to see your next one--maybe you are hiding some great physical flaw, or maybe you let your hair grow long like a hippie???

Kathleen: It's never too late--I am here to testify to that one!

Carie: I agonized over that too---I agonized over every single aspect of the process as a matter of fact!

Jul 10, 2013 01:08 AM #19
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Paula - I like it and agree it reflects a more casual and updated look appropriate not only for the fabulous area you work, but also more in touch with the social media world--casual, informal and fresh!

Jul 10, 2013 01:42 AM #20
Brad MacKenzie
Brad MacKenzie - Duxbury, MA
Turning Houses into Homes on the South Shore

If it looks like you, that's a good thing. (See Karen Fiddler's post comparing online dating to listing sheets!)

I kind of liked the helmet hair.  I don't think of it that way, but you said it!

The other real me

I'll add that I struggle with my photo and look, too. I like to look like a professional, and to me, that means a jacket and tie. Sometimes that works for my clients, and sometimes it doesn't, no matter what the income level or social background. Some people who tell me it doesn't matter are people I respect; other people who say the same thing need a lesson in appearances.  So, whatcha gonna do?

Jul 10, 2013 01:58 AM #21
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

Paula:  Had something similar happen to me just a while ago.  The whole photo thing has always been a bit uncomfortable for me.  Now you've made me think I need to change mine again ... aaggghhh!!


BTW ... I like the new photo.  You appear approachable and warm ...


Jul 10, 2013 02:30 AM #22
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Norma: Thank you--I wasn't necessarily looking for compliments---but I will take them!! :)

Brad: You look great in both of your photos!!! You must---look great! I think the more relaxed is good for the Hamptons--there are some agents who have taken their photos at the beach!

Gene: Well, I hope those who approach me are buyers and sellers! All kidding aside-- I did get a lead from someone surfing the web  for the an agent in the Hamptons and they picked me! That may be very telling.... 

Jul 10, 2013 04:35 AM #23
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

When I notice a difference in how I look and my photos I just change it. Although my business card is pretty dated.........

Jul 10, 2013 06:06 AM #24
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley,, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

I lile your new photo.  It's warm and friendly.  Folks like that.

I have never been photogenic.  One reason I rarely go to small AR meetings is because of that photo stuck in my face. 

I updated my photo 3 or so years ago when a photographer moved in a couple of houses away.  He had a sign on the side of his car and I stopped one day and made arrangements for photos

He was very good.  He was also very good with photoshop.  I love my photo.  It has color and a smile and it's me. 

I said then and I'll say again.  That's the LAST photo I'll have. 

I do have a couple more that he took that I like too

These are my winter photos..

Lenn  Lenn

Jul 10, 2013 07:05 AM #25
Scott Larson
BHHS/Utah Properties - Park City, UT
Park City, Utah Real Estate News

Paula, you looked great before and you look great now.  I wish you  uch success and happines until the next photo change comes along.

Jul 10, 2013 07:16 AM #26
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Than: It feels really good to up date my photo--I think I was way overdue though!

Lenn: I love your photos--always thought the one you  use here on AR was a very genuine one and although we have never really met, I always thought that if and when I do meet you--that Is exactly the way you would look and be!...So, that is a good sign I think! Your winter photos are really good too--especially the one in the black jacket...You should try that on AR sometime just for a switch-up?? As far as these being your last photos--I would wait before I say that if I were you--hey, you never know; you may suddenly decide to present a different side of yourself--that's what I did and I think it will work for a while...then we will see! By the way--I think you are very photogenic!

Scott: ...and then what? You will re-evaluate??? Hahahaha. Just kidding. I appreciate your candor though, especially since it was positive on my behalf! :)

Jul 10, 2013 08:45 AM #27
Charles Stallions Property Manager
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pace, FL
Pensacola, Pace & Gulf Breeze Property Management

It comes a time when we all should change the photos, I have been surprized at meeting some folks here meaning their photo here looks nothing like they do now.

Jul 17, 2013 01:44 PM #28
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!

Joe: I was lucky that  didn't happen to me! I guess I looked enough like my old photo so that no one said "who are you?"

Jul 19, 2013 01:35 AM #29
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Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA

...The Most Informed Agent In The Hamptons!
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