Kids see it differently!! Sharpen up! Shape up!

By
Real Estate Agent with Janisch & Co. 0396361

Working is important.  We are all supposed to participate in a profession or two.  When we work hard we not only feel more fulfilled, but we are able to live more comfortably.

Work like everything else can be taken to extremes

One of our sons brought our grandson for a visit this week.  We had a great time visiting with them. There was one cloud over the visit.  Our son was continuously either on the phone, or answering his emails.

At one  point our grandson looked at me and said "Gram, dad has had the phone in his ear ever since we left Houston yesterday."  The child was clearly NOT amused.

From his Dads point of view,  the effort to continue the work through the vacation was his way of insuring the dollars to get everything the child could ever want or need.

The way the child saw things, His Dad was only present in body.  Having Dad spend some one on one quality time without interruptions would have been Grandsons preference.

As I watched the scenario unfold it suddenly occurred to me that what I watched my son doing was the example I had set for him when he was growing up.  We did not have the technology available today, but I was always checking for messages and returning calls in the middle of special family events, school functions and everything else.

I made it clear that customers and clients came first.  After all we needed the money to provide all those music and horseback riding lessons and the nice clothes and toys.

If I had it to do over, the priorities would be different and my son might be able to spend time sharpening his relationship with his son...  

This lesson was a sharp reality check.  You do not get to go back and redo.  Be smart and shut off your phones and get a working partner to handle your business so you can actually vacation with family and friends!  

Posted by

KW image 

Ralph and Jeanne Janisch

BROKERS

305B CR 234

Durango, CO 81301

P: (970) 759-1007

P: (970) 759-0027

 E: ralph@durangohometeam.com

W:  www.ralphandjeannejanisch.com

 W: www.durangohometeam.com

Durango, Mancos, Cortez, Dolores, Bayfield, Ignacio, Vallecito

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Ambassador
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Cindy Jones
Integrity Real Estate Group - Woodbridge, VA
Pentagon, Fort Belvoir & Quantico Real Estate News

Sounds like the Harry Chapin song Cats in A Cradle.  "I'm gonna be like you dad."

Jul 27, 2013 10:25 AM #4
Rainmaker
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Karen Feltman
Cedar Rapids/Iowa City, IA KW Legacy Group - Cedar Rapids, IA
Relocation Specialist in Cedar Rapids, Iowa
It is strange how these realizations take so long for us to realize.
Jul 27, 2013 11:06 AM #5
Rainmaker
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Janis Borgueta
Key Properties of the Hudson Valley - Newburgh, NY
LIC RE Salesperson

It is hard to disconnect when the need to fulfill obligations takes over.

Jul 27, 2013 11:53 AM #6
Rainer
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Jimmy Faulkner
Florida. Homes Realty & Mortgage - Wantagh, NY
The Best Of St. Augustine

We have to learn how to live all over again. We are slaves to technology and our business and have made it a rat race all by ourselves. The example we have set for our children is not good & I wish I could be able to do it all over again.

Jul 27, 2013 12:13 PM #7
Rainmaker
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Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

"This lesson was a sharp reality check.  You do not get to go back and redo.  Be smart and shut off your phones and get a working partner to handle your business so you can actually vacation with family and friends!  "  This is an important lesson indeed, and one which is important to learn.

 

Jul 27, 2013 12:15 PM #8
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Jennifer Fivelsdal
JFIVE Home Realty LLC | 845-758-6842|162 Deer Run Rd Red Hook NY 12571 - Rhinebeck, NY
Mid Hudson Valley real estate connection

Jeane and Ralph my daughter now grown reminded me I use to work through her musical performances, she saw me from the stage.  

It is true we need to be present not just in body.

Great post.

Jul 27, 2013 12:21 PM #9
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Ed Silva
RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

We do what we think we need to do and often lose track of priorities. I now know how to turn the phone off

Jul 27, 2013 01:03 PM #10
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Ralph Gorgoglione
Maui Life Homes / Metro Life Homes - Kihei, HI
Hawaii and California Real Estate (310) 497-9407

In many business ventures, but ours especially, phones and email meld into our conciousness... every waking moment the next deal is on our minds and in many ways that is reality; but Jeannie, your reality check is from a perspective that only comes around once in life... sometimes we are looking back and sometimes forward... if we still have the benefit of looking forward, let's keep sight of what matters most.

Jul 27, 2013 02:00 PM #11
Rainmaker
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Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Jeanne and Ralph, it is a good thing that you have finally realized this.  Yes, it is probably too late for you to be able to change much between you and your son, but maybe you can make up for that by doing a forceful intervention to help the relationship between your son and his son. 

You really need to do this, and sorry, but since you helped create this problem, you owe it to both of them to be a part of what fixes it.

Jul 27, 2013 02:24 PM #12
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Rob Lang
At Home Kansas - Lawrence, KS
Local Expert in Lawrence Kansas Real Estate Homes

I would love to find a "working" partner but then I am probably just going to be making him "work" through those family times!

Jul 27, 2013 06:37 PM #13
Rainmaker
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Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

Ralph & Jeanne - This is great advice, not only for the relationship, but also because we all need a mental break.

Jul 27, 2013 06:52 PM #14
Rainmaker
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Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
Samsel & Associates - Clark, NJ
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate

Prioritizing is the most important skill for any professional. If you put your business in front of your family, then you'll reap what you sow. I'm sorry For your son - it sounds like he's missing out on a great kid.

Jul 27, 2013 10:21 PM #15
Rainmaker
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Kathy Sheehan
Bay Equity, LLC 770-634-4021 - Atlanta, GA
Senior Loan Officer

At times you just need to break away from the technology.

Jul 27, 2013 11:39 PM #16
Rainer
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Ron Climer
Keller Williams Realty Mountain Partners - Tryon, NC

I think at least half of the problems that Realtors solve, would get solved by someone else.  You are correct.  Family first.  Leave the problems until Monday morning.

Jul 27, 2013 11:58 PM #17
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John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Learning from a child...... Make it a great day in all you do in beautiful Durango Co.

Jul 28, 2013 12:21 AM #18
Rainmaker
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Ed & Tracy Oliva
West USA Realty - Arizona - Fountain Hills, AZ
The Oliva Team Arizona Agents

Good Morning:  This is some great Info for all and some great thoughts,  Keep up the good work and good luck with your business,  E

Jul 28, 2013 12:38 AM #19
Rainmaker
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Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

The farmer learns to work the seasons and use the day to optimize his results...When he is finished with the working part, the other parts shift into place...Everything has a place and requires time and attention....good post

Jul 28, 2013 01:23 AM #20
Rainmaker
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Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Honestly, if we don't figure out HOW to spend time with our families... sooner or later they won't be there for us to be concerned about.

Think about it.  What would you rather spend your time getting old with?  Your family by your side, or stacks and stacks of MLS print-outs?  I would end this with an "LOL"... but it really isn't very funny.

Jul 28, 2013 02:41 AM #21
Rainmaker
729,853
Signature Homes & Estates
Signature Homes & Estates - Gilroy, CA
"Our Performance Will Move You!"

Wow, reality check indeed.  As the old adage goes, nobody has ever said on their deathbed that they wished they had spent more time at the office.

Jul 28, 2013 05:30 AM #22
Rainer
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Gerard Gilbers
Higher Authority Markeing - Asheboro, NC
Your Marketing Master

I agree that we try to do everything we can to provide for our families but not spending the quality time with our children leave its mark. Great article.

Jul 28, 2013 06:08 AM #23
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Ralph Janisch ABR CRS Broker

Selling Northwest Houston to good people like you!
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