My Own Eulogy.

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina

I should preface the following with a simple thing.  While I don't plan on actually dying anytime soon, I do suspect that the inevitable will come my way down the road.  Unless someone can show me better, the inevitable is pretty much a fact.  That written, I would like to take a stab at writing my own eulogy right now.  It's akin to a will, only with a sense of humor.  And if I get eaten by a crocodile, or succoumb to a strange strand of bowel disease in the meantime ... please use this as your outline.  Many thanks.

Jason Sardi was a man's man, except on Sunday's when he was more like J. Edgar Hoover's reincarnate.  From the very moment he exited the womb in less than noble fashion, he was destined to show up on bing.com under "Epic Fails".  His life wasn't totally one, but I'd still rather have my kid be a used car salesman. 

Jason was a rather intelligent, somewhat witty man, who probably described "underachieving" better in real-life than the Obama Presidency.  He was, for lack of a better enticement, a friend you'd rather have NEVER met any of your other friends.

His hobbies included writing, working out, and being eternally bored/disgruntled with the human race.  The latter isn't a testament to the human race, only of his lack of getting over a very fueled hangover.

Many of us, when someone meets that inevitable, tend to concentrate solely on the good about them and of their lives.  But not him.  This chap wanted to be buried in a speedo that read "I Love Ric".  Yeah, I almost forgot, Jason dug the pro-wrestling scene.

Jason got his Bachelor's from the Clarion University of Pennsylvania, his doctorate in the Mortgage Industry, and his wake-up call writing insurance policies for a living.  Money never sleeps.  But thank somebody's God he now does!

Mr. Sardi died alone, unaware, and surprised in a lush Italian Restaurant after choking on a long strand of linguini that he took home to eat before he was to fall asleep.  He was 41.

He is survived by a bunch of folks who he never properly thanked.

Life is Fun, so can be a FUNeral.

(Rough Draft ... Over ... )

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Ambassador
2,849,880
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

So which was it Sardi... in the Italian Restaurant or at home?

Shall we send flowers or make a donation to the animal rescue foundation in your name?

Aug 06, 2013 02:09 PM #1
Rainmaker
94,295
Dan Mincher, CCIM
The Vollman Company, Inc. - Sacramento, CA
Sacramento Commercial Real Estate
Self deprecating humor is one of the most difficult to write. You've done a fine job. I wish more folks took life less seriously.
Aug 06, 2013 04:22 PM #2
Rainmaker
3,174,842
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Sardi what happened to Jennifer she was not having pasta with you??

Aug 06, 2013 04:55 PM #3
Rainmaker
3,523,803
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Jason. You are out of your mind. This was really bizarre but funny. Perhaps a new contest here. RIP.

Aug 06, 2013 08:35 PM #4
Ambassador
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Well Sardi man, if nothing else it is refreshingly HONEST, and I certainly like the whole non pompous theme of it. They say truly we should write our OBITUARY ahead of time and various periods of our life and see how it sounds. Are we happy with it? I do must say I think you are pleased with your eulogy. It is so YOU. Good job. BTW, there can be far worse things to die of than the pasta problem so good call.

Aug 06, 2013 11:00 PM #5
Rainmaker
212,573
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

Ha! So THIS is what you were up to while sporting that huge grin last night! I may steal a line or two from this when I write your eulogy, but it won't happen when you're 41. And from here on out, there will be no linguini on the menu for you buster!!!!

Jason was beautiful. And he knew it.

He spent Sundays lying about the house smoking too much, drinking too much, like a junkie in a sun warmed nod.

He watched countless hours of staged brutality hoping to burn off the shiny edges of his gaping heart. His was huge. (uncomfortable chuckle from the audience here). 

He was a staunch goalie, always stuck in the middle of any political argument - defending the center no matter how hard I pulled him toward the sane side of reason.

He rocked, literally and figuratively. He had abs of stone and shoulders big enough to carry every friend in need. And he did.

A finer feline father never lived. A more bewitching mate I will never know. He was mine. And he is irreplaceable. But there is always a pool boy, and I will survive. (cue Eye of the Tiger)

 

 

Aug 07, 2013 12:20 AM #6
Ambassador
532,825
Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life

Animal rescue will work, Tammy.  At home ... with Kittens Cute:)

Agreed, Dan.  Agreed.

Endre - She opted for the veggie burger ;)

Sheila - I won't even attempt to run this as an idea for a contest past Mr. Stewart.

Woltal - The irony is I rarely eat pasta.  But I'm ALL about writing my own eulogy.

Very well done, MJ!

Aug 07, 2013 12:45 AM #7
Ambassador
2,642,479
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Between you and your lovely wife, I'm cracking up and feeling serious at the same time.  Your line "survived by a bunch of folks who he never properly thanked" is probably more true for most of us than we'd even personally want to admit.  Bill

Aug 07, 2013 02:49 AM #8
Rainmaker
1,055,108
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Well Jaon-I see you decided to write on AR again. Leave it to you for it to be a rough draft of your eulogy. Your Jennifer has got a better version though.

Aug 07, 2013 03:52 AM #9
Rainmaker
1,055,108
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

I found a little something from your past on AR. They are doing a August contest which is the 2013 of these.

Lucky Number 3, My MEME... and What's In A Meme? and Ann Guy Meme'ed Me, Now What do I do?

Aug 07, 2013 05:05 AM #10
Rainmaker
592,907
William J. Archambault, Jr.
The Real Estate Investment Institute - Houston, TX

Again with the eulogy! I can only respond with the word’s of another William.

"Alas, poor Sardi! I knew him, Readers: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne us on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that many have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were won’t to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? Quite chap-fallen?"!

 

Uncle Bill

 

Aug 07, 2013 05:18 AM #11
Rainmaker
212,573
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

Love it Uncle Bill!!!

Aug 07, 2013 05:41 AM #12
Ambassador
2,751,408
Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO
Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Jason - Nice to see you back amongst us proles, even if it is a one-off. Funny, but I liked Jennifer's better, and suspect it's closer to the real you. Hang around for a while - this place needs someone causing unrest.

Aug 07, 2013 08:21 AM #13
Ambassador
2,286,939
1~Judi Barrett
Integrity Real Estate Services 118 SE AVE N, Idabel, OK 74745 - Idabel, OK
BS Ed, Integrity Real Estate Services -IDABEL OK

I prefer Jennifer's.. :) 

That said, so glad to see you writing.. love it. 

Aug 08, 2013 11:50 PM #14
Rainmaker
1,607,549
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services Inc - Gulf Breeze, FL
Buyers Agent 800-309-3414 Pace and Gulf Breeze,Fl.

You are whacked but who didn't know that. I saw a show one time where the guy was having his funeral while he was alive, at a bar and people came. I thought of you for some reason and now I know

Aug 17, 2013 12:54 AM #15
Rainmaker
1,177,129
Curtis Van Carter
Better Homes & Gardens Wine Country Group - Yountville, CA
Your Napa Valley Broker Extraordinaire

Jason

I haven't been by in quite some time and have to say, I miss your sense of humor. No, I won't write my own eulogy and don't have to worry about them saying only nice things about me. There won't be anyone there to do so. See you H and we  will compare tail size. cheers cvc

Aug 17, 2013 04:05 AM #16
Rainmaker
1,177,129
Curtis Van Carter
Better Homes & Gardens Wine Country Group - Yountville, CA
Your Napa Valley Broker Extraordinaire

Jason

I stopped by to wish you a Merry Christmas but was immediately drawn to this post again. As I said above, you make me think, cry, fart and laugh all at once. No matter how we all meet this event, yours will definitely stand out. cheers cv

Καλά Χριστούγεννα

Kalá Christoúgenna

 

"Merry Christmas" in Greek

Dec 24, 2013 11:04 PM #17
Rainmaker
516,433
Russell Lewis
Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate - Austin, TX
Broker,CLHMS,GRI

Dude...you are the featured member in this issue and it's been longer than me since your have posted...Hmmm...maybe we should both get back on this horse and inject some of our own particular btand of whimsy..I am going to post something over the weekend or...Monday! 

 

Say Howdy to Jennifer for me!

May 09, 2014 06:21 AM #18
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