I should preface the following with a simple thing. While I don't plan on actually dying anytime soon, I do suspect that the inevitable will come my way down the road. Unless someone can show me better, the inevitable is pretty much a fact. That written, I would like to take a stab at writing my own eulogy right now. It's akin to a will, only with a sense of humor. And if I get eaten by a crocodile, or succoumb to a strange strand of bowel disease in the meantime ... please use this as your outline. Many thanks.
Jason Sardi was a man's man, except on Sunday's when he was more like J. Edgar Hoover's reincarnate. From the very moment he exited the womb in less than noble fashion, he was destined to show up on bing.com under "Epic Fails". His life wasn't totally one, but I'd still rather have my kid be a used car salesman.
Jason was a rather intelligent, somewhat witty man, who probably described "underachieving" better in real-life than the Obama Presidency. He was, for lack of a better enticement, a friend you'd rather have NEVER met any of your other friends.
His hobbies included writing, working out, and being eternally bored/disgruntled with the human race. The latter isn't a testament to the human race, only of his lack of getting over a very fueled hangover.
Many of us, when someone meets that inevitable, tend to concentrate solely on the good about them and of their lives. But not him. This chap wanted to be buried in a speedo that read "I Love Ric". Yeah, I almost forgot, Jason dug the pro-wrestling scene.
Jason got his Bachelor's from the Clarion University of Pennsylvania, his doctorate in the Mortgage Industry, and his wake-up call writing insurance policies for a living. Money never sleeps. But thank somebody's God he now does!
Mr. Sardi died alone, unaware, and surprised in a lush Italian Restaurant after choking on a long strand of linguini that he took home to eat before he was to fall asleep. He was 41.
He is survived by a bunch of folks who he never properly thanked.
Life is Fun, so can be a FUNeral.
(Rough Draft ... Over ... )