Handshake 101: Are you making a shake mistake?

By Rebecca Cranwell

It’s no secret that your handshake says a lot about you as a person—and what’s more is it says a lot about you as a business person. You know, first impressions and what not, yada yada yada. The handshake is a building block of business etiquette, but how can you be sure your shake isn’t shooing away helpful opportunities?

Keys to a confident handshake:

1. Make eye contact
2. Smile
3. Extend your right hand—palm perpendicular to the floor
4. Your grip should be firm—not to hard, not too soft (the same pressure you would use to open the refrigerator or turn a doorknob)
5. 2-3 pumps should do it. Don’t hold on too long and make it awkward.

Are you making a shake-mistake?

The Dominator

This handshake flushes any sense of equality there might have been right down the proverbial pot. The Dominator extends his hand palm down, so the recipient is then forced to turn his palm upwards in a submissive gesture. Don’t sweat The Dominator if you are put in this situation—you can ‘right’ the introduction by clasping the handshake with your free left hand for just a second—long enough to ‘right’, or turn, the handshake to a level playing field where both palms are vertical.

The Wishy-Fishy

The most feared and reviled of all handshakes, the Wishy-Fishy is much like shaking hands with a piece of seaweed. This shake is easy to accidentally supply if or when you’re nervous. Do NOT be caught dead giving this handshake; it conveys a wishy-washy or insecure attitude…you might be viewed as submissive, or wimpy.

The Princess

This handshake is usually offered up by genteel ladies of the court, but on occasion it is (very unbecomingly) displayed by business people. The tell-tale traits of The Princess is a hand offered—palm down and with four fingers cupped softly as if to be kissed. Unless you’re royalty, better stick to a nice firm, unassuming handshake.

The Politician

So called because it is often displayed by someone running for office, the politician is when the free hand is used to grasp the handshake creating a cup or to touch the arm or elbow of the acquaintance to create intimacy. This handshake is fairly intimate, so unless you know the acquaintance well enough to hug, leave The Politician Handshake for the campaign trail.

Sometimes we catch ourselves displaying these not-so-kosher handshakes unconsciously. I for one have caught myself—numerous times—gripping the daylights out of an acquaintance’s hand in a rowdy Macho Nacho handshake.

Eek!

To avoid being overly nervous in new situations, remember to smile and if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, try to think of a time you felt really confident. Whether it was closing on a house or cooking a delicious meal for your family—go to your happy place to regain your composure.

Don’t worry; if you find yourself in a flubbed handshake—just remember to laugh at yourself—the weirdness will subside in a few seconds as the conversation progresses. A confident handshake is a good tool to have in your pocket, but it isn’t exactly a key to your personality or anything. Accidentally giving someone a Princess handshake won’t ruin your career; you might just appear prissier than you truly are.

Also, worthy of mentioning: ladies, don’t try to over compensate and make a place for yourself in the “man’s world” by offering up a hardy Macho Nacho or Dominator handshake. Just the same, you don’t want to be viewed as ultra-feminine and submissive. Offer a handshake that conveys who you are: strong, refined, confident and classy.

Researchers at Oregon State conducted a study on perceived personality profiles based on a handshake. In other words, 10 participants shook over 100 strangers’ hands and the strangers rated the participants’ basic personality traits: extraversion, neuroticism, openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness.

While the perceived personality profiles—based on a handshake—did not correlate substantially to the true personality profiles of participants…one factor DID indeed correlate (at least for the male participants). That is, the men with a confident and firm handshake had higher levels of contentiousness in their personality profiles. That means, a man with a good handshake is probably more likely to show up to work on time and meet deadlines.

If you’re going to be crossing serious borders to do business, it would be wise to check out greeting etiquette of other cultures. For example: it is considered extremely rude to shake hands in a doorway, or over a threshold in Russia. Check out this informative article to learn more about the cultural implications of shaking hands.

How do you make sure your handshake is confident and congenial?