Ralph Nader Sunday left the wintry hole that I think he shares with Puxatawny Phil somewhere in the Pennsylvanian hinterland. Upon emerging he saw his shadow and evidently that proved to be the deciding factor as he declared his intention to throw his hat into the presidential ring. All 157 of his supporters across the nation cheered madly. Other saner people shook their heads as they collectively tried to remember the last time that Ralph did anything relevant.
Upon hearing the news my nearly one-year-old son Lucas sat speechless. Just shy of his first birthday Lucas puzzled over why a 74-year-0ld curmudgeon would feel compelled to lead the free world. Then, after a few minutes, his face broke into a grin as he figured we were pulling his leg.
But his brother Jackson popped the brief balloon of amusement as as he tearfully uttered, "No."
Not quite two-and-a-half, and conversant with three to five word sentences interspersed with language that only the angels and his younger brother can understand, Jackson relied on words, gibberish, heartfelt howls, and a few knocks to the noggin to explain to Lucas that Nader was indeed running.
And while he granted that once Nader had honor as he donned wrinkled shirts and poly-blend suits from Sears to battle corporate ne'er-do-wells that were driven by the bottom line more than the higher value, he concluded that Nader's honor was being tarnished by his quadrennial hot flashes to shine the spotlight more on himself than any malefactor in a fancy suit and an overly generous expense account.
Inspired by his brother's rant Lucas raised his hands as if to ward off the taint of Nader. At the same time he wondered how anybody could possibly vote for a guy who didn't look capable of sharpening his own pencil.
But Jackson pointed out that Nader's presence on the ballot in 2000 enabled another fellah accused of wielding dull number 2's to be gifted with the presidency by a bunch of judges in dark robes.
I understand that it's old Ralph's right to run for president just as it's the right of roaming bands of misanthropes to support him. But I emphatically believe that the rights provided by this beautiful experiment called democracy comes with RESPONSIBILITIES. And I, like my two-year-old and nearly-one-year-old sons, think the self-congratulating Nader is willfully ignorant of these responsibilities.
My sincere hope is that as little attention as possible will be paid to Nader and that he will climb back into whatever hole he climbed out of and take with him his Sears' suits and shirts speckled with gravy stains from the 70's.
In the meantime we are getting ready to greet Lucas' first year here with a fiesta. Today we journeyed to The T-Shirt Deli in Chicago's Bucktown neighborhood to print up a festive t-shirt that the baby boy will don as we snap a photo for the card we will share with friends and family. As we did when Jackson turned one, we emblazoned the back with a big number one and Lucas' name.
By the way, two blocks from this shop in Bucktown on Wood Street we closed a new construction single family. Listed at $1.6MM we received a cash offer with a three week close and sold the home for $1.52MM.
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