"I have a tip that can take five strokes off your golf game. It is called an eraser."
- Arnold Palmer
"The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs. "
- Henny Youngman
"The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life."
Chi Chi Rodriguez
"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
-Hank Aaron
"Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it. "
-Ted Ray
"For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball."
-Dave Barry
"One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said."
-US Open TV Commentator
"I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart."
-Buddy Hackett
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
Billy Graham
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