Ok, so the last time we left, "That Guy", he was tending a paper cut, created by the last paper football game and was mulling over the question of his Job Title vs. Fiduciary Responsibilities to his employer, "The Bank".
Scratching the top of his head, moving the hideous comb-over hair aside and in a blizzard of dandruff, "That Guy", muses to himself, "Hmm...now am I Loss Mitigation or Loss Elimination? Wow, I really like the sound of "Elimination", it sort of sounds like "Termination" like "The Terminator!", yeah, The Terminator...".
He begins having fantasies of him riding a Harley, totin' a sawed-off shotgun and uttering those infamous words, "Hasta La Vista, Baby", with a horrible attempt at an Austrian accent, hurling those powerful words towards some heinous Borrower, 75 days behind on a mortgage payment.
Just then, the words, "Terminator and Termination", begin to echo in the empty chamber containing the gray matter where dusty synapses fire lazily. "Termination?" His heart beats faster, as he has heard that word before and that never mean good things for future vacation plans. *SNAP* Back to reality!
"That Guy" suddendly decides that the Loss Elimination stance would be his best recourse...besides, by using the rubber stamp he bought years ago at a Super Sale at SS Kresge's that says "NO", he could move those files off of his desk quite expeditiously and get back to the second quarter of his favorite paper football game. "Exxxxcellent", he utters outloud. He begins opening file folders and the red ink flies, as he wildly stamps "No" on all pending Short Sale offers that are cluttering his football field.
What does "That Guy" do next? What are the ramification for his actions?
Tune in tommorrow, when we introduce "The Professional" and the saga continues...as we hear "That Guy" grumble, "Why does my Supervisor suddenly want to see me? My desk is clear and I have fought the good fight, protecting the interests of "The Bank"!" Or has he? <insert organ music here> And what about Naomi?
Life's A Grin!
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