This is the hardest post that I have ever written - An Update on my friend David

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Austin Texas Homes, LLC 453249

This past week, I have been spreading the word about the finances of my friend David Wilder and his wife, Jan, who have been struggling mightily following David's recent cancer treatments. 

MANY of my ActiveRain friends have stepped up in support of David and Jan, both by sending money and by writing posts to inform others. 

A few days ago, Jan mentioned on her blog that they took David to the ER because he kept having fainting spells and he became weaker virtually overnight.  The doctors did a CT scan and things were a bit uncertain until today.

This morning, Jan posted a message on her blog confirming the sad news:

The biopsy results came in on Saturday morning and they were not what we wanted to hear. The cancer has come back raging and has wrapped around most of the major organs in the neck area. Dr. Brown has informed us that there is nothing left to do that hasn't already been done to get rid of this type of cancer. Although we are very saddened by the results because of our selfish nature and desire to have those we love near us, I know that he will be much better in his Father's arms. I don't know the exact time or day but Dr. Brown indicated 2 weeks to two months. I would like to encourage each of you if you would like to come see him, please don't hesitate. Please don't call just come. David is fully aware of what is going on and of course is at peace knowing he will see his precious Saviour soon. When you come he may be sleeping and it is ok if you would like to wake him up. His ears are clogged causing hearing problems and his vision is blurry if you get too close to his face. But if you stand on the side of his bed and lean over him and speak loudly he will know who you. Don't feel like you can't wake him up because chances our during your visit, he will close his eyes and rest. He is back on a pain medicine that drips continuously so he is out of pain for the most part. Hospice is getting involved on Monday to see about setting us up at home so that we can be there. If you want to wait and come by the house rather than the hospital you may elect to do that which is fine. If you plan on bringing your kids, which is fine, a home visit would be best. I know that this news is not what we all hoped for but we will choose to rejoice in David's death just as he rejoiced in his life. That is not to say that we are shutting the door for a miracle. We are listening for our Father's voice and would ask that you stand firm in prayer with us requesting God's will to be done.

This will sound strange if you don't know me very well, but the thought of losing David is actually harder for me than losing my own father. 

He is the type of friend who has been exceptionally loyal, loving, and supportive for the 13 years that I have been blessed to know him.  I have been crying my eyes out tonight, yet I am comforted tremendously with the certain knowledge that David will be with the Lord soon, and out of the extreme pain and misery that he has undergone for the past year. 

If you feel led to write or send anything to Jan at this time, let me know.  I am praying for a miraculous healing, but barring that, I pray that David's passing will be peaceful and swift, so that his suffering can end soon. 

I am hoping to see my friend one more time before he leaves us, and it tears my heart out to even consider that right now, but I must tell him how much he has meant to me.

I realize that this is a lot to share on a network this large, but so many of you have asked for an update that I felt that I must share this.

God bless all of you who have helped so far, and I am sure that Jan will still need financial help if you feel led to assist in that area.  I don't know what David's life insurance situation was/is. 

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Greg Adelman
Midwest Home Center - Saint Croix Falls, WI
Thank you for the update Jason.  Just know you, Jan and family are in all of our prayers.  The Lord will comfort all that needs it.  He is always there for us his children.
Mar 05, 2008 10:53 AM #47
Krista Fuchs
Prudential Fox & Roach - Exton, PA
Chester County Realtor - (484) 459-8025 - Home Buying and Selling
I am so sorry.  I wish there was more I could do.
Mar 05, 2008 01:02 PM #48
Kathleen Lordbock
Keller Williams Realty Professionals - Baxter, MN
Keller Williams Realty Professionals

Jason -I know this is extremely hard as you are grieving for your loss and for David's family. Your greatest comfort and his is in the arms of Jesus- death is hard, dying no fun at all , but there is the future and so many face an uncertain one because they don't know if they have"been good enough" or done their rituals enough or whatever they believe. Isn't it good to truly know you declare him Lord as well as Savior and then live?

David has an eternity and you can share it - how long is forever?

Mar 05, 2008 01:15 PM #49
Roberta LaRocca
Simply Vegas Real Estate - Las Vegas, NV
REALTOR®, Broker, Salesperson, Property Management
Jason, I am so sorry.  Spend as much time as you can with David and support Jan.  I will be saying a prayer for all of you.
Mar 05, 2008 04:19 PM #50
Brad Andersohn
Executive Director of Education at eXp Realty - Fairfield, CA
ActiveBrad - 707.646.1876
Jason - I share your tears my friend, there are no words that can express my sincere condolences to you, David, Jen, and all the family members and friends involved here.  I join with those who pray for God's will in this trial and test of faith.  Know you and the families are in our thoughts and prayers Jason.  I see why this must have been the hardest post for you to contribute, but I am so happy you did.  It has touched my heart and spirit in many inexpressible ways!  Be strong, Be grateful for all things, and Be Blessed my friend!  :-)
Mar 05, 2008 04:29 PM #51
Arizona Real Estate Associate Broker
MR Realty - Mesa, AZ
Jason - I can't bare to read all the previous comments, so if you don't mind I am opting out. This just breaks my heart to read this about David coming from his wife and his dear friend. I am literally bawling my eyes and just need to stay focused today. Wow-- it's amazing how your heart strings get tugged at over the internet by sharing about others you barely know. My prayers and thoughts are with Jan, may she find strength and comfort in this difficult time to endure! May David be comforted and find peace in his soul. For you Jason, may you be blessed with peace as you find the words to share with David on your visit. May you share with David that we all are pulling for him and wish him a miracle!! God Bless and may you be comforted my friend. My heart aches for Jan & her family and love ones! We are thinking of you Jan!
Mar 06, 2008 05:18 AM #52
Jeff&Grace Safrin
F.C.Tucker 1st Team Real Estate - Valparaiso, IN

May God give you and Jan and both your families strength and peace at this your time of need Jason. May Psalm 23 bring you comfort and assurance that one day David will greet us along with all those faithful who have also been called Home to Heaven - a place my Mom taught was so wonderful and blessed, that no one would ever want to return. You are all in my prayers.



Mar 06, 2008 05:46 AM #53
Bob Carney
Taylor-Made Deep Creek Vacations & Sales - Mc Henry, MD
Licensed MD/PA Real Estate Agent
Cancer Sucks.  Thoughts and prayers are with you and his family for a quick recovery.  Rejoice now with him...that will be a pleasant memory.
Mar 07, 2008 03:37 AM #54
Denise Shockey
RE/MAX Aerospace Realty - Cocoa Beach, FL
Cocoa Beach, Brevard County Florida Real Estate
Jason-Your frend David and his wife are so blessed to have such a caring and loyal friend. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all and we will spread the word here.  God bless you and take care.    
Mar 07, 2008 10:46 AM #55
Deb Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties Wichita Falls Texas - Wichita Falls, TX

Jason, My least favorite part of being an adult is the realization of mortality. I am wrapping my arms and my heart around you and your friends in hopes it will help. God bless you, Jan and David and all who are affected.

I am currently working with a young woman who's spouse, my lawyer, my daughter's husband's partner, passed away in December.

It is so tragic. It is the most painful for those (us) left behind. David will still be with you at all times Jason. A connection of love and friendship cannot be broken by death. Death is simply a transition.

We will all meet again.

God Bless you and yours. Later in the rain~Deb

Mar 07, 2008 02:06 PM #56
Alan Kirkpatrick
Austin Texas Homes - Round Rock, TX
Alan in Austin


This brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for you and his friends and family. I like you know that He is in good hands with God and that he is soon to be in a far better country. At the same timee, I know God can do a Miracle and until he takes David home I will continue to pray for that Miracle.

Mar 07, 2008 03:39 PM #57
Gerri & Bruce Eiles
Quitman Realty - Quitman, TX
I just joined ActiveRain yesterday and was so happy to find a Christian Blog for Real Estate.  Yours is the first I am reading.  I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  From reading his wife's blog it sounds like she is an amazing woman that is very very strong and goes without saying a woman full of faith.  May the Lord wrap his arms around all that are and will be affected if the Lord chooses to bring him home.  God Bless you all!
Mar 08, 2008 12:22 PM #58
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)


I would like to offer my sincerest thanks for caring about me and my close friend David.  I won't be responding individually on this one, because I think that my remarks would be very repetitive. 

Obviously, things look quite grim right now for David, but I also know that God can choose any path that He wants, and miracles do happen.  I just ask that those of you who are praying would continue to pray for David to be healed. 

If it is David's time, then I have no doubt about his eternal destination, as I mentioned.  I know that he is not afraid of death - he told me so last year when he was originally diagnosed with cancer. 

Again, THANK YOU for taking the time to follow his story, and my own journey during this time.  Your messages of hope and support mean more to me right now than you could ever possibly know.

Mar 08, 2008 01:05 PM #59
Jacki & Jerry Shafer
The Shafer Real Estate Team, Keller Williams Louisville East - Crestwood, KY
The Shafer Team, Call 502-643-SOLD

Jason, I think all of us can relate, or unfortunately will some day relate, to your pain.  It absolutely rips your heart out to try to imagine life without your dear friend.  I have a friend who is battling cancer for the fourth time (I recently wrote about her giving her hair to Locks of Love), and I do have a sense of what you're going through.

You will have to go through it, and some day you will come out on the other side of it, with your sweet LORD holding your hand all the way.  Lean heavily on His everlasting arms.

God bless you my brother,



Mar 09, 2008 12:06 AM #60
Christina ONeal
At Home Real Estate Group - Ripon, CA
Realtor - Ripon California

Hi Jason,  Bless you for sharing his story.  I am very touched by all of the love that surrounds David & Jan.  I don't know any of you personally yet I am sobbing.  I am praying for all of you & so thankful that David has found Jesus.  God bless you...

Mar 09, 2008 01:41 AM #61
Sandy Noll
(RSVP Real Estate) 425.890.0878 - Woodinville, WA
Real Estate Team From Mill Creek to Mercer Island

Oh Jason I am so sorry.  This breaks my heart as I shed a tear for all of you.  I'll pray for a miracle; but remember  that miracle may be disguised as David's passing.  He will be with our Father, free from pain and suffering forever.  Good Bless you as well for being there for your friend.

Mar 09, 2008 07:54 AM #62
Ginger Wilcox
Sindeo - San Francisco, CA
JASON- I have been thinking of you, David and his family often.  My heart goes out to you.  I suffered a terrible loss one year ago from cancer.  It stinks, and I don't know what else to say.
Mar 15, 2008 03:56 PM #63
Patty Ledford
RE/MAX Town and Country - Blue Ridge, GA
Your N. Ga. Mountain Agent -The Ledford Team-Blue
Jason I'm so sorry for the pain and I will keep you and Jan and David in my prayers.
Mar 16, 2008 01:35 PM #64
Leigh Bates
Atlantic & Pacific Real Estate - Flower Mound, TX
The Trinity Group

Jason - I just stumbled across your posts regarding your friend David. I am so sorry to hear this, and will certainly keep you and David and your families in our prayers.

It definitely puts life back into perspecitve when we have happy, healthy families, the other things don't always matter.

Mar 17, 2008 03:46 PM #65
Elizabeth Nieves
The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC
Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

Just reading his wife's post breaks my heart and causes me to rejoice at the same time. I don't know if I could let go so easily. I love my husband more than my own life. To have to let go of him would break my heart into a million pieces. Jan's strength is absolutey beyond words. God is so faithful!!

GBU, Jason!

Sep 11, 2008 10:59 AM #66
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Jason Crouch

Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
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