Expectations, Attitude, and Your Happiness

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly,

but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway.

Bumblebee

This post ought to be about real estate, and it is to some degree but it is also about life and happiness. Many REALTORS go into this tailspin when a listing expires and they don't get a renewal. They wonder what did they do wrong? Some Stagers are perplexed when they propose great services for assisting a homeowner or REALTOR to make a home sell faster. And then nothing happens. I'm talking about being let down. It's called EXPECTATIONS.

In life you have one idea of how something should go. Then there's the reality that doesn't match up. You come home and want to go out to dinner with your wife, husband, or that special someone. This particular evening they are sick or under the weather. Maybe some other time. You want your teenager to go on that Easter weekend family outing at the lake. No, they want to go play video games at the mall with their friends instead. Mom and Dad are not cool enough anymore. Your business was supposed to take you to a new level in 2007. Didn't quite work out that way. Or back to relationships - something that started off so glowing and cheery months back has cratered now where they don't even return your phone calls. Or health... you expected to live out your golden years together, and now a spouse's terminal illness has you on a new road.

Life can have its exciting moments and its share of disappointments. If we wrap up ourselves too much in our expectations, and attach ourselves strongly to them, we set ourselves up for being unhappy. Let life flow, and roll with the outcomes. It is not your fault your expectations were not met. It is all about YOU having a good attitude, and remembering you only can control "some" things. When you embrace those two things you will be happy and have peace. And isn't that the state we would all like to be in most of the time? Watch those expectations. Don't hold on to them too tightly. It will get you in trouble. The "decision" to let go is very freeing. Practice it till you are good at it, and then help others with this life lesson once you have mastered it. You then will spread more joy in yours and the hearts of others.

 

 

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Rainmaker
92,270
Lynn Johnson
Coldwell Banker Home Connection - Owatonna, MN
Owatonna, MN Real Estate
Gary - Thanks for sharing another great post.  You always have such a positive way of passing along a good message, and it always seems to hit on a very relevant topic.
Mar 03, 2008 02:58 PM #10
Rainer
18,258
Isabel Gomes
Gomes Design - London, ON
Interior Decorator, Stager - London, Ont
Gary this is so positive - a way in which I like to live my life. When we can learn to let go wen our expectations are not met is when we can learn from them.
Mar 03, 2008 03:16 PM #11
Rainmaker
95,975
Diana Young
Staging Seattle, King & Snohomish Counties - Edmonds, WA
Thanks for that reminder, Gary!  Stay positive!  P.S. -  Is there really a town called Flower Mound?  I'll bet it's picturesque!
Mar 03, 2008 03:21 PM #12
Ambassador
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Jesse & Kathy Clifton
Jesse Clifton & Associates, REALTORS® - Fairbanks, AK
Retired
Gary - Oh, wise sage of ActiveRain. :)  It's all about attitude, isn't it?  Life rarely happens exactly as we had planned.  Coming to the realization that we can only control how we react to a situation and not the situation itself makes all the difference in the world.
Mar 03, 2008 05:06 PM #13
Rainer
179,246
Kathy Passarette
Creative Home Expressions - Mount Sinai, NY
L.I. Staging/Decorating
Gary ~ This post is so apropos to posts on AR this week and last (including one of my own, which you commented on).   I also like what Jesse & Kathy said above, "how we react to a situation and not the situation itself makes all the difference in the world."  I am trying to keep my reactions positive although most expectations not met are from my business.
Mar 03, 2008 10:17 PM #14
Rainmaker
484,402
Trey Thurmond
BCR Realtors - College Station, TX
College Station , Texas Homes

Gary

Exactly my philosophy in life and business. Things aren't meant to go ecactly as our "expectations" tell us. Life and work would be so boring if they did.  Look at both through the eyes of a child and it never is boring...... Never lose your sense of wonder. Everyday is an adventure if you let it be.

Mar 03, 2008 10:20 PM #15
Rainer
2,712
Stefanie Sexton
Unavailiable at this time - Lebanon, MO

Gary, I could have used a "stern" lecture about this one a few years ago!!!  To tell a secret on myself here, I used to be the type that had a PLAN for everything.  Lists of To-Do's from shopping to things my children were involved in.  When things didn't go as PLANNED, I would get upset and let it stress me to the point of major headaches. Then a lil over a year ago, Anxiety Attacks.  Having an Anxiety/Panic Attack is no fun, it is NOT all in a person's mind.  I was told a few months ago a lil saying that made me stop and think about things in a lil different light.  "If you want God to remind you of who is in control, just make a plan."  Meaning that there are many things out of our control and we just have to learn to go with the flow.  There is a reason for everything, even if it is not evident at the time of happening, and may never be clear to us... 

 

Have a Wonderful Day!

Lil Bit  (aka Stefanie Sexton)

Mar 03, 2008 10:37 PM #16
Rainer
22,918
Kelly Shoemaker
Coldwell Banker SELECT - Broken Arrow, OK
Realtor Broken Arrow, OK
Thanks for sharing the great insight Gary!
Mar 03, 2008 11:00 PM #17
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Thanks for all the wise comments. It seems like many have learned as they got older that they can't control everything and that even though we may plan, we need to be flexible. I've sensed that the stronger we attach to an expectation the bigger the hurt we get if we are disappointed with the outcome. I think having expectations for performance for children and students makes them better. But results don't EXACTLY come out like we imagine them beforehand in our mind. Letting life unfold along with setting our goals is a more reasonable approach to sane living.
Mar 03, 2008 11:16 PM #18
Rainmaker
720,487
Teri Eckholm
Boardman Realty - White Bear Lake, MN
REALTOR Serving Mpls/St Paul North & East Metro
Gary--You have such a wonderful positive outlook on live...Very wise! Keeping positive and flexible is very important in life as things are always changing.
Mar 03, 2008 11:37 PM #19
Rainer
104,204
Rosario Lewis
DDR Realty - Newburgh, NY
GRI, SRES - DDR Realty - Orange County, NY
Those who dwell on would'as, could'as, and should'as miss out on a whole lot of living.
Mar 04, 2008 12:50 AM #20
Ambassador
524,193
Virginia Hepp - Mesquite NV REALTOR
Desert Gold Realty - Mesquite NV Homes For Sale - Mesquite, NV
Mesquite NV Homes and Neighborhoods - Search MLS
Gary - Reminds me of a big disappointment - I used to take my son and my 2 nephews to the movies and after to play pinball.  We always had a great time - one day, I led them into the theatre, sat down, they all kept going and sat a few rows ahead of me.  Wow, I was heartbroken!  I was not cool anymore - they outgrew me.
Mar 04, 2008 02:13 AM #21
Rainer
101,891
Kay Perry
Kay Perry, Broker - College Station, TX
Gary, I am a regular reader of your posts, as you know.  You write such positive posts and always such wonderful wisdom.  Thanks for sharing.
Mar 04, 2008 02:33 AM #22
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Teri: Change is constant, your are right, hence the need to be flexible.

Rosario: It's almost like looking back to much rather than forward.

Virginia: They outgrow you and you're not cool, but you will be cool AGAIN. It just takes time.

Kay: Thanks for reading my little thoughts. I try!!

Mar 04, 2008 10:39 AM #23
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Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Gary, your posts are filled with positive and calming thoughts.  Nice to have in these turbulent times.

Mar 04, 2008 12:05 PM #24
Rainmaker
299,145
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate
Gary- Beautifully stated......expectations.  I told someone not too long ago that it is when people have their preset idea of what to expect that it causes problems.....maybe that's why I liked this so much, and pressed the little to Feature Flag :)
Mar 04, 2008 12:17 PM #25
Rainer
46,282
Jackie Peraza
Perceptions AdverStaging(TM), LLC - Framingham, MA
Home Stager - Framingham, Massachusetts

Gary - I do like this post.  Another lesson I've had to learn is this; there is a difference between letting go and drifting. 

Jackie

Mar 06, 2008 06:54 AM #26
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Norma: Calm in the storm. That's me.

Kathy: If you stay open to "whatever" might happen, you just don't end up as tense I've found.

Jackie: Drifting is not good and I agree it is not the same as letting go. They say only dead fish "drift" down stream.

Mar 06, 2008 08:32 AM #27
Rainmaker
343,510
Arina Hanciulescu
RealtyPros - Las Vegas, NV
RealtyPros
Gary, i love this quote: If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.  ~Oscar Wilde
Mar 07, 2008 07:25 PM #28
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Arina: Great quote. I'm a big believer in trusting things that are happening in your life are happening for a reason. With that hindsight that you are talking about it is a good thing we don't get everything we wanted. Sometimes what we wanted and didn't get would have turned out to be a disaster.
Mar 07, 2008 11:13 PM #29
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