Funny lines about living in the San Jaquin Valley in CA,

Some of us can relate;    You Know You're From Porterville When...

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a "tri-tip" comes from.

You think salsa goes on everything.

Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.

Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April.

The best restaurants in town start with "El" or "Los."

You think $400 a month rent is way too high.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.

The pool can be warmer than you are.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

You still don't know your way around downtown.

Anywhere "and 65" is too far away.

You think you're better than people from Springville, because you know they think they're better than you.

Someone mentions the Fair and your thoughts immediately turn to Funnel Cake

You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December.

You have to explain to someone about "Olive St."

The whole town shuts down at 11:00 PM.

You complain about how boring Porterville is, but still make fun of people from Terra Bella, Woodville, and Ducor.

You hadn't been to Porter Theater in 10 years and finally get to see a movie in town now that the Galaxy movie theater opened.

You never knew how you managed before cruising nights.

Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and you tell them, "Just wait."

You know not to take Henderson after 10 PM on Saturdays and Fridays, because all the action is on Olive.

You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses.

You won't eat an orange more than two days old.

You think going to Visalia for the mall is a big deal.

You have to explain where you live in terms of Bakersfield and Fresno.

When you think Starbucks is the coolest place to be.

You think back to your times in AYSO soccer and how big the Monache fields seemed to you back then.

When you go to any lake other than Lake Success and realize that not all lakes taste and smell like gasoliine

You know you're in Porterville when you hit the age of 20 and everyone in your graduating class who's still living in Porterville either has kids or is married (usually not both at the same time).

When you care about Porterville. . .

You can say you've competed in a greasy pig competition...and won!

You remember going to the Zalud House around Christmas- or to the museum to see the trains.

In grade school you walked to your destination for field trips.

You've seen a wildfire in the River.

You know there are dead bodies in Lake Success but you still wakeboard or swim in it.

You're actually proud to tell outsiders about the San Joaquin Valley.

You've been to the Veteran's Day Parade. (Porterville is one of the last towns to actually celebrate that day)

You think that orange/green is a good combination.