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How do you encourage spouse to work out with you?

Real Estate Agent with Western Carolina Properties

I am a pretty active person.  I have a home gym, in the bonus room, above the garage ,with the typical treadmill, weight bench, heavy bag, free weights, etc.  I work out at least 4-5 days per week, combination of cardio and/or strength training.  I have tried to get my wife to join me.  But, she refuses.  She suffers from ruptured disks in her lower back and is a smoker.  I keep trying to tell her that if she does not get started soon it will be much tougher down the road.  I have tried all sorts of methods in order to encourage her to get started with both cardio and weight training to strengthen her core and back, but alas, none have been successful.  Aside from the health benefits of increased energy, which she lacks and overall better health.  I would just enjoy spending that time together. 

Does anyone have any suggestions???

I would love to hear from anyone that was faced with this same situation and hear if you were successful in getting your spouse or significant other to participate with you in a fitness regime.


Suzanne Sands
Pavao Real Estate - Somerset, MA
Somerset MA Real Estate

Hi Todd,

Welcome to the Fit Club!

Sounds like you have a great home gym set up. I don't really have any good advice for making someone do something they don't want to do. But I do know that if you want to be fit only you can do it. Maybe if you stop asking she will see your results and want to give it a try....best of luck to you! :)

Mar 05, 2008 01:09 PM
Lindsey Hasford
Edina Realty - Elk River, MN
Bringing you home...
Hmmm. My advice is don't push! My hubby is constantly bugging me to look better and excercise more. He's always giving me "tips" on doing it "better"... I hate it and it makes me want to quit. I only keep at it because I need it. I would never excercise with him again. :-) Sorry I'm not much help.
Mar 06, 2008 03:43 AM
Chris Mitchell
Keller Williams - Nashville, TN
Give it up! If she is not ready to help herself nothing you are doing or will ever say will do any good all you are going to do is drive a rift in your relationship that will be irreperable. She will do nothing but think that you think she is fat and hate you for it. Find a buddy to work out with if you need the support. Let your wife be it will make you happier once you realize you are not responsible for her you can only be responsible for yourself.
Mar 07, 2008 03:11 AM
Mike Norvell Sr
Morris Williams Realty - Leesburg, FL
Norvell Consulting Group

I have to agree with Lindsey.. leave her to work out on her own..men have different goals in fitness and ladies , even wives, don't like men watching...Especially if they are not Christie Brinkley perfect.. I offered to hire a trainer for my wife years ago, and she did that, which taught her how to do the basics, and he taught her at her level and pace...15 years later she still works out on her own and loves the Total Gym and her little rubber covered free weights...and we never work out together...

As for smoking, I would put the little wooden exploding spikes in all of her cigs...this would guarentee she would get a lot of exercise as she chased your butt around the house with a base ball bat..See, you two would be doing something together at last!!

Mar 07, 2008 03:45 AM
Mike Norvell Sr
Morris Williams Realty - Leesburg, FL
Norvell Consulting Group
You might also tape a pic of yourself to the heavy bag...just kidding.. I couldn't help myself...if I had a heavy bag and wanted my wife to use it..
Mar 07, 2008 03:47 AM
Lindsey Hasford
Edina Realty - Elk River, MN
Bringing you home...
Mike! That's hilarious!!! That WOULD make me work out. :-) LOL. Hahahahhaaa. Thanks for the good laugh!
Mar 07, 2008 08:00 AM
Mike Norvell Sr
Morris Williams Realty - Leesburg, FL
Norvell Consulting Group
Hey, its not really meant to be funny..but if it makes you laugh.....just kidding...it is very funny
Mar 09, 2008 05:42 AM
Lindsey Hasford
Edina Realty - Elk River, MN
Bringing you home...
Mike - I've thought of your comment a few times since I read it and it still makes me laugh! :-)
Mar 09, 2008 09:16 AM
n d
Naoma Doriguzzi - Virginia Beach, VA
That is awesome that you are able to be so motivated...but I think that it is best if you let her do it on her own time and probably the more you bug her the more it will upset her.  That is just my opinion.  
Mar 09, 2008 12:14 PM
Mary Richards
Reece & Nichols Realtors - Kansas City, MO
Mary Richards
It is a touch situation.  Especially since you are the guy asking the gal to workout.  I've tried to get my guy to workout as I was concerned about his health.  I tried many times and approaches.  They didn't work.  It came down to him getting motivated.  He finally did, lost 50lbs and has kept it off.  You might try involving your kids or see if she would go for you doing something as a family.  Ask her what type of exercise she likes, what type of exercise equipment she thinks she would use.  For some people, it takes a health scare to get their attention before they decide to make changes.  Another suggestion, try cooking together as a family.  Cook healthier meals and try smaller portions.  Sucking up to her is a good strategy too.  :-)  Pay her a sincere compliment when you have the chance, give her a hug or kiss for no reason.  Maybe you could suggest a walk at sunrise or sunset.  Okay, so did you know this was going to turn into a counseling session?  Good luck! 
Mar 09, 2008 03:16 PM
Todd Baucom
Western Carolina Properties - Cullowhee, NC

I appreciate the comments on this subject, even the smart... ones.  Just an update for everyone.  Last Sunday one of the boys came down with somthing that was viral, cold symptoms and mild to high grade fever.  Two days later she and I both start having the symptoms.  I took Ibuprofen at our oldest sons baseball game to fight the fever and  four more at dinner with other couples and players.  I came home and took a slow pace 2.5 mile run on the treadmill.  I took four more Ibuprofen and went to bed.  I woke up the next morning feeling fine and never got anything.  She, on the other hand, has been sick all week.  Today, she said she was going to get started exercising.  I think she saw the benefit of me getting on the treadmill with the fever and breaking it with a sweat.  I don't know if that is what stopped me from getting sicker, but as long as she believes that we will run with it.  So, we shall see what happens from here.  I will let you know how things progress. 

By the way, this has been a two year process and most of the comments have been tried in the past, not mentioning it for months, getting the boys involved, even used the picture on the heavy bag (not as  original as  Mr. Norvell thought), to no avail.  Does anyone have any success stories, besides Mrs. Richards?

Mar 09, 2008 04:33 PM
Aziz Abdur-Raoof
RE/MAX Rewards - Columbia, MD
Howard Co. Real Estate Scoop

Todd -  First, I highly suggest you read this book titled --The Power of your Subconscious Mind, by Dr. Joseph Murphy. 

Read pages 150- 160.  



Mar 12, 2008 02:39 AM
Jen Bowman
Keller Williams on the Water - Holmes Beach, FL
Realtor - Anna Maria Island & Bradenton FL

I don't think you can get her to workout if she doesn't want to.  How about just asking her to take a walk with you around the neighborhood?  It gives you together time and gets her involved in a little exercise. It has to be fun for her.  Best wishes.


Sep 23, 2008 02:08 PM
Mona Gersky
MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC - Sylva, NC
GRI,IMSD-Taking the mystery out of real estate.

I've been keeping tabs on this post for, let's see, a couple of years!!! I see that you are still married and your wife still looks good, guess it's going okay.

Jul 01, 2011 11:54 PM