Dealing with Home Buyer's Remorse - It's all part of the process!

We’ve all made a purchase that later kept us up at night. If you recently parted with a lot of money, you probably know what I’m talking about. Maybe it was a used car (Can I really trust that slick sales person?), an expensive bauble (Do I really need that?), or a new tech toy (ditto).

Or maybe it was a house!

Whatever the purchase, we call that sinking feeling in the pit of our stomach, the condition where we just KNOW we’ve made a mistake, buyer’s remorse.

Of course you can head off some of that buyer’s remorse by doing your homework before the purchase. But here’s a secret: Many home buyers experience buyer’s remorse even if they’ve done their research up front, so don’t feel alone if you start feeling uncomfortable about your decision. In fact, buyer’s remorse is a normal reaction to change, even if the change is good. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve made a bad decision.

Still, to get through the home buying experience with your sanity intact, you’ll want to be able to manage those uncomfortable feelings. Here’s how:

Understand: You are not alone.

Humans are emotional creatures, and many important decisions tend to be emotional, especially if it’s something like choosing a mate or selecting a house. It’s love, and love triggers a dopamine rush that is wonderful while it lasts, but unfortunately doesn’t always last forever.

Once the initial rush and anticipation dissipates, our emotions start to wane and we are left with our fears. The key coping strategy here is to realize that you aren’t alone and get help with this problem before it causes an otherwise successful transaction to unravel.

Accentuate the positive.

Keep things in perspective. Don't focus on things that aren't perfect. Keep your eye on the big picture and why you fell in love with the home in the first place. Revisit the house if possible and re-live the frame of mind you were in when you decided to buy. Remember all the reasons you had for making the purchase.

Don’t look at other houses.

You’ll drive yourself crazy if you keep searching realtor.com out of habit or cruise the streets for For Sale signs. There will always be homes that cost less, or appear to be better than the one you’ve already committed to. At some point, it's healthy to make the commitment and let go.

Don’t listen to all those “friends” who start questioning your decision.

Friends, neighbors and co-workers also play a role in buyer’s remorse, because they will all be willing to pick apart your decision or tell you about a better deal – if you let them! So don’t!

Confess to your real estate agent.

Most agents are all too aware of the havoc that buyer’s remorse can wreak. Yours will probably welcome a chance to talk to you about it. If not, find someone else to help you work out the issues that are nagging you; don’t keep them to yourself. If nothing else, the agent can help you determine what the penalties will be if you opt not to go through with the contract. (Buyer’s remorse can cost you, so it’s best to know the law upfront, rather than after the fact. Know what the penalties are before you enter into an agreement to buy.)

Don’t give into fear.

Fear of change, fear of commitment, fear of making a bad choice, fear of financial ruin, fear of the unknown – All these are fears that will run through your mind like termites on a wood pile after you sign on the dotted line.

Remember, so much of a purchase decision is emotional, and emotions are not always logical. Left unrecognized, these fears can lead to a decision to cancel – a decision that is just as emotional as the original decision was to buy!

So before you give into your fears, get help. Rest assured you won’t make a good decision under stress and little sleep. Allow your negative emotions, fears – buyer’s remorse – to subside and then fight them with logic.