Services for Real Estate Pros with Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance




Good evening everyone-The topic of this post came about on the Sunday before last when I attended church with a good friend. One of the things they always do as do many churches is greet some of the people standing in back and in front of you as well as anyone next to you.

Now this is something I have done on many occasions and actually enjoy it and have no problem doing so.  In researching the different kinds of handshakes I didn't know there are supposedly 10 different kinds. I was familar with a few of them but not all.  Here is the website explaining in detail all of them.

Here is the list of those ten handshakes. Who knew there was so many. Not I, but then again I don't get out much or shake hands very much. I am more of a hugger myself. This was actually interesting learning the different types and what they mean

1. Sweaty palms 2. Dead fish 3. Brush off  4. Controller 5. Politician 6. Finger vice 7. Bone crusher

8.Lobster claw 9. Hand Wrestler 10. Tea cup

I had heard of 1, 2 and 7 but not any other the others. Now what sparked this thought came from that handshaking at church.  I had one fellow who gave me the BONE CRUSHER handshake. I don't think he did it to intimidate me as this website suggests but I do think sometimes men in particular don't realize how strong that is and how much pain it could cause someone especially for a women. If it is a married woman and she has a diamond that handshake could and would dig into her hand. 

While that isn't a issue for me with the diamond I do remember years ago someone doing that when I did have one and it did hurt but I don't think that was as painful as the one I got from this fellow in church that Sunday and what made it even more painful is the fact that I have rheumatoid arthritis in my hands especially in my right hand which is my dominant hand and the one I shake hands with. So this past Sunday when I went I was dreading the meet and greet part. Thankfully I didn't get that kind. Thank God.

So remember with the bone crusher HANDSHAKE try to refrain from doing that unless it is two alpha males fighting for the dominant position. More power to you both but God is the dominant one in church and he is definitely the one in control whether we think so or not



Posted by

Sharon Lee

Comments (22)

Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Sharon- I've had the bone crushers, especially when I lived in Texas!  However, I'd much rather have a bone crusher handshake than the dead fish. 

Oct 24, 2013 08:54 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I'm a hugger too.  And I have been known to be quite verbal if someone tries the bone crusher on me.  I have little hands.

Oct 24, 2013 08:56 AM
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Kathy-At least the dead fish doesn't hurt

Tammy-Those are better than handshakes in my opinon. I have long fingers but small bones. The arthritis is what caused it to be even more painful. the joints are swollen and hurt anyways


Oct 24, 2013 09:27 AM
Tom Jansson
Acuity Home Inspections - Chicago, IL
Chicago Area Home Inspector - InterNACHI Certified

There's no reason for the BONECRUSHER in a business relationship.  The handshake is meant to be a token of peace and respect, not domination.  

Oct 24, 2013 10:01 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

I've had the painful handshake and it's not pleasant.  My diamond ring has left an impression, literally, more than a few times!

Oct 24, 2013 10:10 AM
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Tom-I totally agree with you and it isn't respectful if it is hurtful not peaceful and respectful

Sharon-I remember that well too. OUCH!!!!

Oct 24, 2013 10:24 AM
Emcee M. Arah
Remax Excellence - Silver Spring, MD - Silver Spring, MD
Realtor w/Architectural Dimension, AHWD CRS B-Arch

We could probably talk about handshakes all day long. In our line of work, we get lots and lots of them, don't we? I think the absolute worse is the dead fish. I agree with Wanda. A nice, firm shake is all that is necessary to make the impression.


Oct 24, 2013 10:51 AM
Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group
Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001 - Gaithersburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA
Being truthfully...Not a fan in touching people Sharon, I prefer a fist pump or a respectful bow....as I get older, this is getting worst for me...
Oct 24, 2013 11:57 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Sharon,

Loved the 10 different handshakes you listed! I have to admit I've experienced all but the one I hate is the limp dead fish one..a real turn off! Rather put up with a bone crusher:).

Oct 24, 2013 12:33 PM
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Emcee-I have had that kind and it is not a good one. A firm but not gripping hard is good

Fernando, I can respect that. We all have to do what is comfortable.

Oct 24, 2013 12:34 PM
Joni Bailey
101 Main St. Realty - Huntsville, TX
Your Huntsville / Lake Livingston Area REALTOR®
AMEN!! I am laying here grinning and thinking " I knew she was a hugger!" Me too!! REAL hugs! (It's okay for a hug to be a crusher!) ;)
Oct 24, 2013 01:18 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy


What an interesting post...In some religious sects, men will not shake a woman's hand...I am lucky, never had to deal with a bone crusher!  LOL A

Oct 24, 2013 01:36 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hi Sharon - great post!   Although I guess it's not really a handshake, I've never felt comfortable with the "high five" -- what's up with that, anyway?   

Oct 24, 2013 02:42 PM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

There is the Howie Mandel DON'T handshake because of germs and I will have to tell you about my scum of the earth cuz handshake some day that I develped in childhood. Fist bumps too. Bone crusher ones I agree are awful as are the sweaty ones. Great post.

Oct 24, 2013 02:45 PM
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Dorie-I think that one is a turnoff too but the bone crusher is an equal turnout for me as it is so painful. Maybe I will have to shake only the women's hands.

Joni-I too figured you were a hugger and I love real hugs not half hugs. I have two good friends that are the best huggers. I don't get those anymore as one is in Iowa.  When I meet you in person one day then I will definitely be giving you great hugs

Alexandra-Thank you and I had heard that. I think many in the Middle Eastern countries don't I am not sure of anywhere else

Michael-Thank you. Me either and that high 5 thing is definitely not my thing.

Thank you Gary-You can get germs anywhere so rather than not shake hands then you make sure you just wash your hands before eating. Fist bumps I am sure is two guys. Sweaty ones are icky.

Oct 24, 2013 10:29 PM
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Sharon, my dad taught me at a very young age to have a good firm handshake. I do that religiously (no pun intended!)

I have had many a guy look at me rather astounded because I have a very strong handshake and I look someone right in the eye. I would throw another one out there...the Southern handshake. I don't know if any of these you describe refers to that, it sort of is a half-hearted grasp, and the two thumbs definitiely DON'T MEET, like in your picture. Never liked those! OR, the dead fish. I never like dead fish of any kind--ha!! (well, gosh, except to eat, I s'pose, truth-be-told.)

I sure enjoyed this post. I'm a hugger, too and frequently get that from my clients. It's so nice.

Oct 25, 2013 12:29 AM
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

A simple handshake can create a positive or negative first impression. It is a good reminder to make every handshake count.

Oct 25, 2013 12:46 AM
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Gayle-Thank you and your Dad was a smart man. I think the firm handshake would be best. I really had no idea that there was so many. That southern one is one I may have gotten from a lady in church this past Sunday. It was very light. I only had the dead fish one once a long time ago. My problem is looking somebody straight in the eye. Don't know why just do.  It is wonderful that your clients give you hugs that shows the close knit feeling in your area. I love hugs from people. I like total hugs not the arm around the shoulder hug. To me that isn't a hug

Roy-I agree. totally

Oct 25, 2013 01:11 AM
Toni Weidman
Sailwinds Realty - Trinity, FL
20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL

Hi Sharon, it worked this time.  

Oct 25, 2013 04:57 AM
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Toni-I smiled when I saw your comment. I am so happy because it worked for me too later on today without an e-mail.

Oct 25, 2013 07:49 AM

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