When you lose "the perfect house!"

Real Estate Agent with Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 NRDS ID#641625055

When you lose "the perfect house!"


Long Island is first now experiencing the extra hot real estate market that has prevailed across the nation for some time.


Lovely neighborhoods, spared from damaging storms, have become super desirable. Great looking homes, priced right, are going under contract the first week they are listed. It's even difficult to get my buyers, who commute from a distance and are only available evenings after work, inside for a showing.


You can find articles everywhere that dole out great tips for winning a house in a multiple bid situation and it's not that you should ever be deterred in bidding on a popular property, if you're positive that's the one you want. But, at the core of my beliefs, exists a certain amount of destiny - every buyer has a house with his name on it.

the perfect house


In my experience, "fighting the universe" has and continues to be a lost cause. There is always a reason why we don't get what we want. Sometimes we can see it right away and sometimes it takes years before 20/20 hindsight vision kicks in. With no exceptions, all that I've lost over the years, has always turned out for the best.


At my peak, I coveted a house for 10 years before it suddenly dawned on me how differently my life would have turned out if I had actually lived there. It's not so much that it wasn't the perfect house, as it wasn't the perfect house for my family.


Expect to feel a myriad of emotions - sadness, anger, frustration, bitterness and acceptance. Sometimes, I had trouble getting past the disappointment and needed to take a mental break before beginning the search anew.


In retrospect, location was always the number one reason why a particular house turned out to be wrong. It was never the style, size, number of bedrooms or baths -- those didn't matter - you can always make do with what you have, reconfigure or add on. 


Location mattered most! A perfect location is unique to an individual. It takes into consideration all the things necessary for that individual to navigate comfortably through his daily life.


Noticeably absent here is the issue of price. This post assumes properties within a reasonable budget and not a beer wallet with champagne taste.


It's okay to mourn the loss of what you thought would be just perfect but realize, at the end, there's probably something you're missing. Or, even harder to contend with, something that is unknown to you at the time.


Grieve if you must, but then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. It will happen for you.


It makes no difference if the house is lost due to low offer, poor timing, seller's unreasonable demands or representing agent's professional inadequacies. In the end, buyers always say the home they finally purchased was the best possible one for them.


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Reach me @516.395.8376


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Long Beach is a diverse community that is never short on entertainment. Interested in moving to Long Beach?

Don't hesitate to call me and we can begin our tour.



CHARLES RUTENBERG REALTY INC.  *****  516-575-7500  *****



Jill Sackler, NYS Real Estate Broker Associate based on Long Island's South Shore

Sunny Isles, Fl 

       Specializing in Lifecycle Real Estate 

"When your family doesn't fit your family home, I can help."


©Jill Sackler 2010


Comments (107)

Rob Arnold
Sand Dollar Realty Group, Inc. - Altamonte Springs, FL
Metro Orlando Full Service - Investor Friendly & F

I just figure if it is meant to be, you will get it.  No need to cry over spilt milk.  But also you need to be smart when writing an offer and have a good strategy to succeed.

Nov 14, 2013 08:07 AM
Monique Ting
INET Realty Honolulu, HI - Honolulu, HI
Your agent under the sun

I like your attitude and outlook in life and feel the same way! More people should let the "universe" give them directions for those important decisions such as buying a home. Aloha!


Nov 14, 2013 09:39 AM
Tammie White, Broker
Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN
Franklin TN Homes for Sale

I have a great story about losing the "perfect house". It was a house that Tom and I wanted to buy back in 1992. Anyhow, you'll have to wait because I've decided to write a blog post about it. There are good reasons things happen the way they do.

Nov 14, 2013 10:22 AM
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Jill, there is always a perfect match of a house for a buyer - so one that got away....got away for a reason!

Nov 14, 2013 10:35 AM
Joy Carter & Jeff Booker Brother and Sister Team
Keller Williams Parkland/Coral Springs Realty-GreatFloridaHomes Team - Coral Springs, FL
Trust Your Family's Move To Our Expertise!

Very well stated Jill and certainly worthy of a Re-Blog!  Joy

Nov 14, 2013 10:43 AM
Jim Harper
Atlanta Communities Real Estate - Marietta, GA

Wow, Jill - that's a great post. Period. Thank you!

Nov 14, 2013 11:18 AM
Staci Bell
Coldwell Banker - Morgan Hill, CA

Great post, my buyer's lost one today...decided to wait a bit longer.  Sometimes it takes a bit of pain to get one to move with determination.  However, ultimately there is a plan as you say. 

Nov 14, 2013 12:32 PM
Sharon Parisi
United Real Estate Dallas - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

Jill, this is wonderful advice for frustrated buyers.  I find that many buyers end up with their favorite house in the end.  This has been a frustrating year for many Dallas buyers.

Nov 14, 2013 01:07 PM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

Shanna - Boy, that's a large increase. It must be fueling that other housing bubble I keep hearing about.

Rob, so true! A mixture of commonsense, perseverance, due diligence, business saavy should see you through and, after that, forget about it. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Thank you, Monique. It's a perspective hard-won. I didn't know that early on.

Tammie - So funny. Way to build up the anticipation! Glad I inspired you.

Praful - I like the way you put that. It got away for a reason.

Joy - Thanks so much for dropping by, reading my post, and offering your support.

Jim - No, thank you. Those are very heartwarming words.

Staci - "to move with determination" - very well put.

Sharon - I've been hearing about the Dallas market for a long while. I can only imagine the frustration. Good luck.


Nov 14, 2013 10:10 PM
Drick Ward Property Management / Broker Assoc
NEPTUNE REALTY - Virginia Beach, VA
"RealtorDrick" - Experienced Representation

Thanks for sharing your story

Nov 14, 2013 10:23 PM
Ric Mills
Keller Williams Southern Az - Tucson, AZ
Integrity, Honesty, and Vast Real Estate Knowledge

It is a rare home that can't be duplicated.  You can't win them all, but be happy with your decision and know that things usually work out for the best.

Nov 15, 2013 04:24 AM
Cindy Westfall
Premiere Property Group,LLC Portland Metro & Suburbs Oregon - Tualatin, OR
ABR,GRI Your Tualatin & Portland Metro Real Estate

Hi Jill, just wanted to come back and say congrats on not only being featured..but being featured in the daily drop! We deserved for sure. Oh...and wouldn't you know, I think with this comment you'll hit that 100 mark :)).

Nov 15, 2013 07:22 AM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

Drick - thanks for stopping by & reading it.

Ric - I like that - a rare home that can't be duplicated.

Cindy - You started and ended the comment thread. Thank you so much. I bet 100 must be a lucky number.

Nov 16, 2013 06:55 AM
Bob Miller
Keller Williams Cornerstone Realty - Ocala, FL
The Ocala Dream Team
We agreed Jill, we think the bidding wars that are being promoted in the media may be isolated cases, rather than the norm.
Nov 16, 2013 08:39 AM
Charles Stallions
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pensacola, FL
800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.

Great story and thanks for sharing we all probably have a tale or two LOL

Nov 16, 2013 10:53 AM
Lisa Coates
Level Ten Construction Consultants - Halifax, NS
Residential Home Sales Specialist

Beautiful Post, you should be a professional writter or motivation speaker. Thank YOU so much for sharing this lovely writing. I'm printing and sharing with my office. Have a Great Week, thanks again from Canada !

Nov 18, 2013 11:45 PM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

Bob - I guess it depends on the area - it's not here, that's for sure.

Charles - there is no shortage of tales in the real estate business.

Lisa - that is the best compliment I've ever received - thank you!!

Jeffery - I like the way you think.

Nov 19, 2013 02:24 AM
Jeffery Griffin
Jeff Griffin LLC - Wailuku, HI
Broker Owner

Not forcing things is my favorite way to deal. Aloha Jeff

Nov 19, 2013 05:47 AM
Brian Kuhns
Coldwell Banker Roth Wehrly Graber - Fort Wayne, IN
Fort Wayne Real Estate by Brian Kuhns

I couldn't agree more. sometimes it takes a while to understand and be o.k. with losing what you thought was the perfect house, but ultimately it prepares us to understand and embrace what it is we really need in most cases. 

Nov 25, 2013 01:10 AM
MichelleCherie Carr Crowe Just Call...408-252-8900
Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty - San Jose, CA
Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

Yes, it's hard to accept at the time, but when it's meant to be, it all works out.

Nov 25, 2013 01:48 PM