When you lose "the perfect house!"
Long Island is first now experiencing the extra hot real estate market that has prevailed across the nation for some time.
Lovely neighborhoods, spared from damaging storms, have become super desirable. Great looking homes, priced right, are going under contract the first week they are listed. It's even difficult to get my buyers, who commute from a distance and are only available evenings after work, inside for a showing.
You can find articles everywhere that dole out great tips for winning a house in a multiple bid situation and it's not that you should ever be deterred in bidding on a popular property, if you're positive that's the one you want. But, at the core of my beliefs, exists a certain amount of destiny - every buyer has a house with his name on it.
In my experience, "fighting the universe" has and continues to be a lost cause. There is always a reason why we don't get what we want. Sometimes we can see it right away and sometimes it takes years before 20/20 hindsight vision kicks in. With no exceptions, all that I've lost over the years, has always turned out for the best.
At my peak, I coveted a house for 10 years before it suddenly dawned on me how differently my life would have turned out if I had actually lived there. It's not so much that it wasn't the perfect house, as it wasn't the perfect house for my family.
Expect to feel a myriad of emotions - sadness, anger, frustration, bitterness and acceptance. Sometimes, I had trouble getting past the disappointment and needed to take a mental break before beginning the search anew.
In retrospect, location was always the number one reason why a particular house turned out to be wrong. It was never the style, size, number of bedrooms or baths -- those didn't matter - you can always make do with what you have, reconfigure or add on.
Location mattered most! A perfect location is unique to an individual. It takes into consideration all the things necessary for that individual to navigate comfortably through his daily life.
Noticeably absent here is the issue of price. This post assumes properties within a reasonable budget and not a beer wallet with champagne taste.
It's okay to mourn the loss of what you thought would be just perfect but realize, at the end, there's probably something you're missing. Or, even harder to contend with, something that is unknown to you at the time.
Grieve if you must, but then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. It will happen for you.
It makes no difference if the house is lost due to low offer, poor timing, seller's unreasonable demands or representing agent's professional inadequacies. In the end, buyers always say the home they finally purchased was the best possible one for them.