Urgent Employee Notice

By
Title Insurance with Family Abstract, Inc.
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS(Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Representative, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)


Make it a great day from Glenn Freezman!
==========================================================
Posted by

About Family Abstract, Inc.

Established in 2002, Family Abstract, Inc. provides Title Insurance to clients and customers throughout Florida, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania with more than 40 years of combined experience in management alone. We pride ourselves on retaining the most skilled and knowledgeable employees who share our goals of providing the best service in the industry.

Located in Horsham, Pennsylvania, Family Abstract, Inc. maintains an extensive network of skilled title insurance abstractors in all the states we service in addition to a nationwide network of qualified closing agents who are available to close loans at any location.

Backed by the strength of four title insurance underwriters, we are able to provide expert attention to detail without sacrificing versatility in the closing process, thus providing more options in difficult title situations. Due to our depth of industry knowledge and commitment to excellent service, Family Abstract, Inc. has been able to develop client relationships that have endured for decades.

Having successfully settled and insured thousands of transactions, we have already earned the trust and confidence of hundreds of customers, lenders, brokers, and realtors and now we would like to share our expertise with you!

Comments (24)

Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO
Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Glenn - Roger sent me over for a good laugh, which you delivered in full, but I would have wound up here anyhow. Thanks.

Dec 02, 2013 04:45 AM
Adrian Willanger
206 909-7536 AdrianWillanger-broker.com - Seattle, WA
Profit from my two decades of experience

Glenn, I'm glad I ran across this, hilarious. 

Dec 02, 2013 04:57 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Than, the closer the humor gets to the truth the better the humor.  I appreciate you checking in.

 

Glenn

Dec 02, 2013 05:08 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

I am Thankful to Roger for reblogging this, at least more people will read it.  I appreciate you always stopping by Dick,

 

Glenn

Dec 02, 2013 05:09 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Adrian, If I can get Roger or one of the regulars to reblog my posts, you'd see them all the time, LOL.

 

Thanks

Dec 02, 2013 05:10 AM
Raymond E. Camp
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Ontario, NY
Licensed Real Estate Salesperson Greater Rochester

Good afternoon Glenn,

I guess I had better watch out! As the average of an agent here is 55.7 years it would open up a lot of positions and possibly ruin the "Rain."

Dec 02, 2013 05:17 AM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

Glenn, this is insane. Your stuff is always so funny. I recently used a video you made on home shoppers in one of my blogs - also hysterical.

Dec 02, 2013 06:01 AM
Debbie Laity
Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

OMG, Glenn...this is too good. LOL. I have to share this with some friends. Keep the humor coming.

Dec 02, 2013 06:06 AM
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC

Glenn

Looks like a Gold Star post to me.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Dec 02, 2013 10:26 AM
Mitch Muller - Charlotte NC Real Estate
ProStead Realty Charlotte, NC CRS SRES mitch@prostead.com - Charlotte, NC
Certified Residential Specialist

Glenn, you are absolutely hillarious! I am rolling on the floor!!!

Dec 02, 2013 10:27 AM
Elise Harron
Dirt Road Real Estate - Kingman, AZ
Rural Vacant Land and Development Specialist

Glenn - you've gained a new fan.... thank you thank you Roger for the nudge in the right direction!!!!! 

Dec 02, 2013 12:42 PM
Jane Chaulklin-Schott
TEAMCONNECT REALTY - (407) 394-9766 - Orlando, FL
TeamConnect Luxury Homes - Orlando, Florida, 32836

Hi Glenn ~ good laugh and creative writing. Roger suggested I read and subscribe and I value his opinion. Once again he was correct.

Dec 02, 2013 01:41 PM
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Very funny, Glenn.  And, at times, uncomfortably close to the truth.

Dec 02, 2013 08:39 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Raymond, watch out, they are coming for you.  Who are "THEY" anyway? How do we become one of THEM?

Dec 02, 2013 11:51 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Jill, I can see the smile in your face and it makes me smile.  I'm glad you stop by.

 

Glenn

Dec 02, 2013 11:52 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Debbie, Glad I could give you some good material, I always like to see you comment on my posts,

 

Glenn

Dec 02, 2013 11:52 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Lou, I have respected every one of your posts since joining AR, I appreciate you taking the time to read one of mine.  I hope you'll come back.

 

Glenn

Dec 02, 2013 11:53 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Mitch, The more you laugh the longer you'll live... keep it up!!!  One good belly laugh is equal to 30 minutes on a rowing machine for your heart!!  Just Saying!

Dec 02, 2013 11:54 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Elise and Jane, I too THANK ROGER, he has always been a friend to me on AR and he actually reads alot of my comedy stage material and offers his opinions on my different bits.  His rebogging of this for me, actually had the effect of others reading my work, wow, what a difference a "Player" makes!  I can't thank him enough.

Thanks for your kind words,

Glenn

Dec 02, 2013 11:59 PM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Gabe, if its NOT the truth then it's not funny.  LOL

 

Glenn

Dec 03, 2013 12:02 AM