Should I Put My Girlfriend or Boyfriend On The Deed to the House?

By
Mortgage and Lending with SWBC Mortgage 410-960-2061 NMLS 196068

 

Should I Put My Girlfriend or Boyfriend On The Deed to the House?

 

I got a call from a young lady buying her first home.  She asked about putting her boyfriend on the title to the home.  They plan to be married eventually, but have no current plans. 

Some things to note:  All of the money that is being put into the home for down payment and closing costs is coming from her accounts, adding him to the mortgage would hurt their ability to qualify for the home and they plan to share expenses.

The borrower is going to have to make her own decision based on all the information available. There are many things to consider when purchasing a home with someone other than a spouse.

Should I put my girlfriend on title deed

1.   Some loan programs/lenders will not allow a person who is not on the mortgage to be on the deed.    They do not want someone who is not obligated to pay the mortgageThey can be added later, but there will be additional costs involved.  There is also a possibility that the lender could consider this to be a material change and call the loan due.

2.   VA (Veteran's Administation) do not allow a non-spouse to be on the mortgage.

3.   If someone is on the deed, but not on the mortgage, they have all the rights, but none of the financial responsibility. 

4.   There can be big, expensive legal ramifications in the event of a break-up. 

 

Though having both parties on the deed would effectively give them equal control over the property, it would also add complications if they were ever to choose to live apart.  If someone is paying toward the mortgage, understandably, they will have a desire for some protection. There are ways to gain protection without incurring a great deal of cost. 

Some thoughts on avoiding the tug of war...NOT LEGAL ADVICE, please consult a real estate attorney!

Should I put girlfriend on the deed?

A separate document could be drawn up by an attorney to protect both parties interest in the property.  Two examples of this may be:

 

1.   Add a second deed of trust in an amount that represents the other party's interest in the property.  This would need to be subordinated in the event of a refinance and could cause complications in that instance.  It would need to be paid off in the event of a sale.  Ideally, any agreement related to this should be held in trust (by a disinterested party) so any future actions can take place based on a firm agreement.  One option would be to have this drawn up, signed, and notarized but not recorded.

 

Should I put my boyfriend on title deed

 

2.   Promissory Note, signed and notarized, acknowledging a sum due that represents Mark’s interest in the property should you choose to live apart.  It should include payment terms that would start once exercised and maybe expiration date if not exercised.

   

 

In the event that she and her boyfriend get married down the road, it is pretty easy and relatively inexpensive to add the spouse to title in Maryland.   Other states may differ.  Holding title as “tenants by the entirety”, once married, is the most secure way to hold real property.

 

No one ever expects a relationship to go bad, and hopefully it will be all wine and roses…BUT, putting something in place early, filing it away, and focusing on living a happy life together protects both parties.

 

I am not a lawyer and this is not meant to be legal advice.  If necessary, counsel should be sought. 

 

Posted by

Warm Regards,

Bridget McGee  Maryland Mortgage Mama  NMLS# 196068  SWBC Mortgage.   410-960-2061 EHO   bridget.mcgee@swbc.com or www.marylandmortgagemama.com

 

If you are considering purchasing a home in Maryland and want to be sure you are mortgage ready, my brother Tony and I will be happy to help! We help to make the mortgage process a pleasure! 

If you already own your home, we are happy to provide a no-cost mortgage review to help you to determine if refinancing may be in your best interest.  Please contact me at 410-960-2061.

Comments (55)

Kimo Jarrett
WikiWiki Realty - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

I always defer to an attorney when anyone seeks advice or questions about legal issues. if an attorney is needed, I'll refer them to several to select from to get a confidential consultation.

Jan 03, 2014 05:58 AM
Travis "the SOLD man" Parker; Broker/Owner
Travis Realty - Enterprise, AL
email: Travis@theSOLDman.me / cell: 334-494-7846

I advice against it, but make the Mortgage Company or the Attorney "the BAD Guy", not me....

Jan 03, 2014 06:17 AM
Ed Silva
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

I have had people get into large battles with these arrangements. All could be avoided by just consulting their attorney at the beginning of the mortgage process.

Jan 03, 2014 06:54 AM
David Shamansky
US Mortgages - David Shamansky - Highlands Ranch, CO
Creative, Aggressive & 560 FICO - OK, Colorado Mtg

I am not an attorney either but here is 2 cents HELL NO!

 

Jan 03, 2014 09:41 AM
Bridget "Mortgage Mama" McGee
SWBC Mortgage 410-960-2061 - Baltimore, MD
Maryland Mortgage Mama NMLS#196068

Inna, I agree...lots to think about!

June, With folks getting married later in life, it will continue to be a regular question I think!  Unfortunately the heart doesn't always make great financial decisions!

Rob,  No matter the relationship, breakups are messy.  Co-mingled assets make it more messy for sure!

Dana, Conversations together and separate may be a good way to make sure everyone is aware of the consequences.

Ellie, YAY for sure!  Happy New Year to you too!  Situations can get ugly, it's hard to watch.  Our goal is to make sure that everyone has the information they need to make the decision.  Unfortunately, sometimes the decision is made by the program chosen!

Kevin,  As my father used to say...why buy the cow if you get the milk for free. Of course in this case, they get a house!

Denise, Well before your time I am sure, but at one time lenders didn't even consider the wife's income in a purchase! So sorry for your colleague and her family.  Lots of money lost and lots of hurt feelings I bet.

Eve, Apparently you have had experience with this!

Rob,  Maybe some people will read this post and all the great comments and make a different decision then they may have...saving some of the learning the hard way!

Debbie, I just try to lay out the information...they have to make their own decision!

Ron, You are welcome

Shanna, If they are both on the mortgage, it's OK to be on title.  Gotta pay to play!

 

Jan 03, 2014 10:49 AM
Bridget "Mortgage Mama" McGee
SWBC Mortgage 410-960-2061 - Baltimore, MD
Maryland Mortgage Mama NMLS#196068

Jon, The can of worms never becomes an issue, unless it becomes an issue..then it's a BIG can of worms!

Marsha,  Hope your clients have a long and happy life together...based on the history, not sure if that will be the case.   He has shown his true colors!

Susan, A written and notorized agreement is the key.  There are too many folks that find themselves in just the predicament you mentioned.  That's why God may attorneys!

 

 

 

 

Jan 03, 2014 10:57 AM
Bridget "Mortgage Mama" McGee
SWBC Mortgage 410-960-2061 - Baltimore, MD
Maryland Mortgage Mama NMLS#196068

tv judges

Andrew...or any of the above!  (image from google search of tv judges)

Terry, Thanks!  Unfortunately there are too many that think it means "they must not love me if they won't put me on the house"...sometimes finances and love don't mix well!

John, You seem to have a pretty strong opinion on the matter!

Alyse,  You and I seem to be of the same opinion!  No minced words for sure!

Edith,   but I LOVE him! 

Andrea, Andrew seems to have hit a high note!  If only there was a crystal ball!

Eilean,  That's the beauty of ActiveRain...there always seems to be someone with a similar circumstance!

Karen,  I think a written agreement (a pre-nup if you will) protects both parties.

Sharon,   I agree, an attorney should be contacted!

Lloyd,  You are so right!

Dora,  Thanks!  Sounds like your clients are in good hands!

Erick,  I am a mother of 2 son's and a daughter, I would give them all the same advice!

Deborah, No one ever wants to think they will break up...

Marte,   Sometimes the stars in the eyes block the $ dollar signs in the bank!

Tessa,  Interesting that there hasn't been one comment that disagrees with you!

Paul,  I would never suggest that someone get married before they are ready and more than I would suggest that someone buy a home before they are ready!  Hopefully they get good advice on all counts and make the best decision for them!

Lyn, Sometimes the down payment is from the one who doesn't have great credit or can't qualify for the loan for whatever reason (newly self-employed?)!  There are circumstances where it would make sense...folks just need to have all the facts!

Randy,  Not in Maryland.  We are not a community property state.

Kimo,  Good advice!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jan 03, 2014 11:16 AM
Bridget "Mortgage Mama" McGee
SWBC Mortgage 410-960-2061 - Baltimore, MD
Maryland Mortgage Mama NMLS#196068

Travis,  Speaking for all the lenders out there...great, thanks!  Many loan programs do not want someone on the title if they are not on the loan!

Ed, Unfortunately, not everyone heeds the advice of an attorney, even if one is consulted!

David, Don't hold back, what do you really think?

 

Jan 03, 2014 11:18 AM
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

She should wait till she gets married to put him on title.  It amazes me how many people do not take marraige seriously as a means of financial protection but will co-mingle funds and assets with boy/girl friend.  

Jan 04, 2014 04:06 AM
Anonymous
Trent Mathis
Bridgette, the va does alow a non spouse to be on the mortgage. They do however have to meet a qualification on their length of relationship.
Jan 04, 2014 07:44 AM
#43
Jimmy Faulkner
Florida. Homes Realty & Mortgage - Wantagh, NY
The Best Of St. Augustine

Relationships go bad so th ssimple truth is to not put anyone on the mortgage ordeed  unless you are married. It is that simple

Jan 04, 2014 10:02 AM
Rosie Moore
Serving Sugar Land, Richmond, Rosenberg, Missouri City - Sugar Land, TX

This is risky business. It amazes me how a dating couple would even want to entertain the thought of purchasing a home together.  I would have the gf purchase the home and wai until she got married to include her spouse on the title.

Jan 04, 2014 01:45 PM
Trent Dalrymple (248) 854-0625
Home State Bank - Bloomfield Hills, MI
Allowing Mortgage Professionals to Lend Nationwide

Many years ago one of my clients put her fiancee on title (with no financial contribution from him) and the relationship fell apart within months after the closing.  I kept my mouth shut and later told my borrower that I thought it was a bad idea and she understood why I didn't say anything but wished she had asked me in confidence for my opinion.  It got messy and she eventually had to pay off this jerk just to get him out of the way.  Unless someone is putting in money they shouldn't be on title, or let an attorney put together an agreement to protect your investment.

Jan 05, 2014 04:34 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

So risky!  My daughter bought a condo and her fiance was not part of the transaction....we advised against it.  Good thing too because just weeks before the wedding, she called it off.  He never saw it coming and was not happy when he moved out.  It would have been a real mess to deal with had he been on the title.

Jan 05, 2014 11:13 PM
Deleted Account
Fort Myers, FL

No, no, no and no!  Did I say my answer is no?  If someone does that, it very well could be the biggest mistake of their life.  It makes it too easy for someone to just walk away.

Jan 08, 2014 12:37 AM
Wayne B. Pruner
Oregon First - Tigard, OR
Tigard Oregon Homes for Sale, Realtor, GRI

That would be a very bad idea and I don't need to be an attorney to say that.

Jan 20, 2014 11:16 AM
Anonymous
hector

as long as your interest is protected, pre nup or pre move in agreement protecting you and he other party's best interest. for those of you that say you need to be married, show me where a marriage guarantees they both are going to stay forever. putting someone on the deed is a risk but so is getting married.

Jan 10, 2017 01:12 PM
#50
Anonymous
Me

What if I bought a house with cash, all mine, and put fiance on deed? We haven't gotten married and it doesn't look like we will. If we split and it gets ugly, but I'm able to show all money was mine, can I prevent her from getting half of tbe sale?

Sep 08, 2018 04:41 PM
#51
Anonymous
Magda

HiI bought my house 15 years ago and I put my ex in house deed .We are separate 7 years . I am living in this house .Tax , mortgage is on my name .How many ,% I have to pay himI bought house 350 000Now is worth 650. 000

Jul 18, 2020 05:48 PM
#54
Reb Linn

This is a difficult question. No, really. I really enjoy watching happy couples. I myself often come to the dating site here. But I also have a lot of experience and understand that the divorce rate is very high. My advice is not to get money involved before marriage. This will give you a little balance and confidence in what follows.

 

May 06, 2021 08:11 AM