New year...renewed business goals. From one work acholic to another.... don't neglect the relationships with your family and true friends.
The truck/tank is packed. Tomorrow morning, I’m driving to Texas. I’ve got a funeral to go to. Would be burglars, even though I’ll be in Texas, both of my homes are occupied. Break in…get shot. I’m not joking. (I knew there was a reason that I wanted to get married.)
I’ve lost family members before. With each one, it seems like there is a little piece of you that can no longer grow. Maybe each person in your life is like a stem?
At this moment, if feels like this person who was a close friend that taught me how to ride horses wasn’t a stem. Maybe he was a tap root even though he wasn't a family member? When I first met him, he was my riding instructor. I had a huge crush on his tall handsome blonde headed son. Despite the fact that his son married a lady in the race horse business, our relationship spanned 30 some odd years.
He was more than a stem….maybe one of my major tap roots. When you know someone for so long, that person makes you mad a lot. At times, I’ve actually thought, “I wonder how I’m going to feel when he dies. I knew he was going to die eventually. He was old. I thought, I might not even be sad at all…” Why would I be sad?
The last time we actually saw each other, he thought I was gaining too much weight. Yes, I gained 5 pounds. So, I’m 5’4 and a whole 119 pounds. I think he was becoming an old crotchety 80 something year old man. I think I was too skinny before. (Men…even skinny women are sensitive about their weight.)
In his last voice mail message to me, he threatened to haunt me when he died if I didn’t do a better job of staying in touch. I guess guys in their 90’s know their time is short. Damn, I wish I would have done a better job of staying in touch in this last year or so. Instead, I acted like an ostrich.let’s pretend everything is ok even though I’ve noticed no phone calls lately. I’m not going to call because I want to be an ostrich. Instinctively, I know something is wrong yet I don’t know how to make you feel better….
Today, it occurred to me why so many movies are based on a family coming together after a death in the family. When you lose someone that really meant a lot to you, you start doing a lot of soul searching. Even though the person you adore and cherish is no longer in pain, you suddenly realize it is too late to be the perfect friend or family member. The person lived magnificently. That person was a loving husband and father, a war hero, a great businessman and very charitable. The person was your friend. Yet, you suddenly realize, you failed as a friend. You didn’t give the person enough of your time. Now, the person is gone. Maybe the realization wasn’t really suddenly. Regardless, you wake up one morning to the phone call, “He passed away…”
Over and over, we hear, “Appreciate your kids, they grow up fast.” It is only after they are grown that we comprehend the truth in the warnings. The same goes for our friends. They won’t be around forever. Yet our busy work schedules will never end. Don’t neglect your friends. You never know when tomorrow will be their last day on earth.
I’m not sure this message can ever be shared enough.
Sondra
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