Whether you are a buyer or a seller, at some point you have wanted to kill your real estate agent. It is part of the process of buying and selling a home, so let’s not try and cover it up. It’s the truth. This feeling might be short lived and you may very well go back to loving him or her in the next week or so, but if you want to strike while the iron is hot, this is your guide on how to do it without ending up in an episode of Orange is the New Black. Whether buying or selling, there are at least five ways to kill your agent and none of them include firearms. You can be much more subtle. Use your mind and drive your agent over the edge with several well used but diabolical tactics.
1. And you have been looking at houses for months with an agent, schedule this week end’s showings with another agent and be sure to visit one of your first agent’s open houses…
2. Call your agent late in the day on Friday to schedule seven or eight showings for Saturday. He’ll jump through hoops to line them all up. Then call and cancel them on Saturday morning because you forgot your kid has a basketball game. That’ll give him a coronary.
3. Go underground for weeks at a time. Don’t return emails or phone calls. Then pop up to go look at a listing like nothing ever happened.
5. After looking at homes all summer, tell your agent you are probably going to wait until next year before you buy.
If you are selling your home, here are some things to do to drive your agent to the brink:
1. Start off your discussions about listing your home with the statement “I don’t really need to sell.”
3. Refuse to counter any offer no matter how good it is. Repeat “I don’t really need to sell.”
4. If you agent calls to set up a showing, always tell it him it has to be a different time. A different day also will get him going…
5. Call you agent at least twice a week. Once for an update, the second time to request him to change a picture on the MLS.
Just like there are Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, I am sure there are considerably more ways to kill your agent but I really would not suggest using them...or the ones listed above. These things really do drive agents nuts and we are a little crazy to be in this business to begin with...