5 things my Grandma taught me that STILL apply!

By
Mortgage and Lending with Silicon Valley Capital Funding

Ok. We all have had people who have impacted our lives – parents, teachers, coaches, and so on. But, we often have one person who stands out as a primary impact on our life. For me, that was my grandmother Rose.

First, some background on Granma Rose. She was no ordinary Grandma. She lived until she was 88 years old, and was cleaning houses until she was in her 80′s. Can you imagine? She had to bury 5 of her children before she passed, and lost her husband 25 years before she would pass. Grandma Rose had a strong German heritage, and even today when I think to explain her in just a few words, I would call her a tough old broad with a heart!

Grandma Rose could be stern, but somehow found a soft way to convey her message to whoever was listening – and sometimes with added emphasis if one of us in the audience had recently made a mistake.

Lessons that Grandma Rose imparted…..

1) Respect your elders! I can laugh about this openly now, but at the time, I was 15 and EVERYONE was an elder to me. As you might imagine, it took me many years to understand her words on this one. Respect your elders, what would that mean to me? At this stage of my life, there are now many people who are younger than me and I find myself suddenly in the elder category! Back to the point – what is clear without question is that elders represent experience. Experience in EVERY facet of life and business. The elders around me were my parents, some teachers, some coaches and even some family friends and acquaintances. In business, they represented bosses, Managers and visionaries that had plenty to share. The real trick was to be open and willing to hear them out – a true challenge for a teenager, and even for someone into their 20′s. To me, it means to be humble, and not pretentious. Can you remember the last time you worked with someone that you found yourself ceding respect to? It is likely they found you to be a good follower, and someone they would invest in. There it is – respect for others/elders would manifest itself in more people willing to teach or coach us, particularly if we took what they said to heart and put it into action!

2) Take people at their wordbut understand that what really matters is ACTION -this may have been the easiest lesson for me to comprehend, as action is easy to observe and easy to assess whether you want to be around people who act a certain way. When someone says they will do something and they do not complete it, you have an immediate reaction. Of course, when they do what they say we also have a clear action. This shows up all over the place – but New Year’s resolutions are a great example. Have you ever said something and NOT followed through with the appropriate action? How did that make you feel? Did you imagine loads of people wanting to follow that example?

3) A promise is a promise - this is similar to #2, but promises are more than action. Promises create trust; we can either trust when someone keeps their promise, or we can trust that they cannot keep their promise. Either way, we can trust people, but understanding the distinction between the two is significant. Being on time? Creates trust. Being late? Another type of trust. If you continue this one, it ends up being a stigma that others tell you to be there 15 minutes before the true time! Credit? Make your payments on time, and lenders and banks trust you. Make them late and your consequence is a higher interest rate, a higher payment or no financial assistance at all.

4) Give the world more than you take - As a young man, this was almost impossible to understand. Take all you can get, right? Well, as you age and mature, this becomes fairly easy to understand. When you give more than you receive, you are contributing: to the world, to your company, to your community, to your family. As a father, as a brother, as a son, as a resident, whenever we give more than we receive you add to others and their life. There is an interesting benefit to this, an inner peace that we get by being able to rise above our own needs or wants and we do it without expectation of a return.

5) Love with ALL of your heart - This one also took a while to sink in – and as we mature it is possible to lose in love. Give and you may get burned. But the fundamental of it was the art of selflessness. Being able to give of your self, to give your heart where your partner receives your attention, efforts and affection. Grandma Rose was expert at this – she could find a silver lining in the blackest of clouds. What a skill that was! She meant that loving your partner, your children, your siblings, the concept was the same – find it easy to forgive, find it easy to listen, find it easy to appreciate.

Final Musings -

I speculate that we all have people like Grandma Rose in our lives. Perhaps we did not recognize it in the moment, and it took many years to have a full appreciation of that someone. Who are they in your life? Are they still alive, or better still, in your life today? What lessons or messages have they shared? Did it impact your personal life? How did it impact your business dealings? Were you fair, open, and appreciative of efforts that others made on your behalf? If she were hear today, I would tell her that she was MUCH smarter than I realized, and I can imagine her smiling – even laughing out loud at me.

Comments (31)

Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Your grandmother was a wise woman! And if more people raised their children today with this philosophy, the world would be a much better place to live in. These are truly values to lived by.

Jan 29, 2014 09:28 PM
Jimmy Faulkner
Florida. Homes Realty & Mortgage - Wantagh, NY
The Best Of St. Augustine

Grandma was very wise and understood life. It is funny as we look back and see who was really a leader and where my failures are in this life.

Jan 29, 2014 10:08 PM
Ed & Tracy Oliva
West USA Realty - Arizona - Fountain Hills, AZ
The Oliva Team Arizona Agents

Good Morning and this is some great Info,  keep up the good work and good luck in 2014, E

Jan 29, 2014 10:37 PM
Ed & Tracy Oliva
West USA Realty - Arizona - Fountain Hills, AZ
The Oliva Team Arizona Agents

Good Morning and this is some great Info,  keep up the good work and good luck in 2014, E

Jan 29, 2014 10:37 PM
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Granny and me would get along just fine...fine indeed...thank you

Jan 29, 2014 10:49 PM
John Wiley
Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL, ECO Broker, GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

Great words from GrandMa. We need more of this attitude today.

Thanks for sharing.

Jan 29, 2014 11:10 PM
Jill Saddler
Draper, UT
Draper Utah Real Estate Professional - 25 years+!

She sounds like a lovely woman indeed - thanks for sharing... makes me think about my Grandma and what an impact she had on me as well... great post!

Jan 29, 2014 11:12 PM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

This is a wonderful post and a terrific tribute to your Grandma Rose. I wrote a post like this about my own Grandpa years ago here on AR. I would put a link here, but I don't want to assume you are interested in reading it.  :)

Jan 29, 2014 11:33 PM
Fern S. Hamberger
Corcoran - Manhattan, NY
The Fern Hamberger Team

Thank you for sharing! Grandma sounds like a great lady!!

Good luck for the NEw Year 2014!

fern Hamberger

Citihabitats NYC

Jan 29, 2014 11:35 PM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Eric - we are all a product of our past and certainly our parents and grandparents have shaped our attitudes and beliefs.  I have similar sayings from my parents and grandparents.

In your case this upbringing shaped you.  The same is true for the people with attitude problems and behavior issues.

People can change but it does take effort.

Jan 29, 2014 11:48 PM
Kaye Swain
Keller Williams Real Estate Roseville CA - Roseville, CA
Your Roseville Real Estate Agent

What a wonderful legacy your grandma left - and that you are now carrying on to leave as well. 

Jan 30, 2014 01:23 AM
Jeanne Gregory
RE/MAX Southwest - Sugar Land, TX
The most important home I sell is YOURS!

Your grandma sounded like a jewel.  My own German grandfather gave me the best advice ...."always have some kiss my a** money in the bank".  Those words have stuck with me all my life.  

Jan 30, 2014 02:16 AM
Randy Shamburger
Movement Mortgage - Greenville, SC
FHA, VA, USDA and Conventional Mortgage Expert

She did sound like she knew her stuff. Thanks for sharing.

Have a Big day,

Randy

Jan 30, 2014 03:39 AM
Dan Spencer
Aspen Lane Real Estate - Aurora, CO
Your Colorado Home Source

Eric,

  Sounds like a wise woman with great standards! Thank you for your post

Jan 30, 2014 03:42 AM
Rosie Moore
Serving Sugar Land, Richmond, Rosenberg, Missouri City - Sugar Land, TX

Your Grandma Rose was a wise granny who instilled many good, moral values in you and others. Thanks for sharing!

Jan 30, 2014 03:50 AM
Jack O'Neal
HomeSmart Elite Group - Gilbert, AZ
Wow Eric! Your Grandma Rose seemed like such an incredible woman to have in your life! Our elders really do carry a lot of experience just from having lived through certain events. We are only so lucky if we get to learn from these experiences and heed the results from implementing them.
Jan 30, 2014 05:42 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

The #4 one made me think of underpromise and overdeliver which the balance tilts definitely to the giving side. Lovely list Eric.

Jan 30, 2014 08:34 AM
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Eric, that's a great advice from our elders. However, I wonder if that is what everyone believe in!

Jan 30, 2014 01:50 PM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Hello Eric and thank you for sharing what you've learned. Thankfully, I am blessed with a few amazing people in my life that are a joy to be with and who help me to be a better person every day!

Feb 08, 2014 02:18 AM
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

I like that generation. They keep the promise and often rely on a word that is stronger than any signed document.

Great post! Thanks.

Dec 05, 2014 06:52 PM