Three Little Words

Oh the power of three little words. . ."I am sorry".

My beloved son, Benjamin was home for a short while before he left for Camp Pendleton.  It was such a luxury to see him, hug him, feed him and talk to him while he was home. 

In one of our talks, I said to Bennie, "Do you know why it is important to apologize or say sorry?" 

His response, "Marines don't apologize for anything Mom." 

I said, "Okay, do you know why it is important for everyone else to say sorry or apologize?" 

He thinks for 3 seconds and replies, "Because they were wrong."

My response, "No honey, that is not why it is important to apologize. . .It is not about being wrong or right.  It is about healing.  It is a gesture where one person says. . .I am sorry this situation occurred, and because I care about you and don't want you to hurt anymore.  Please forgive me, so healing can take place in both our hearts and we can live a joyful life free from bitterness and pain."

I knew my son was still listening when he looked up and said, "Well, why haven't you apologized to 'So-and-so' then?"

My reply, "Honey, I have and did immediately after the incident."

My son seems startled and said, "Did 'So-and-so' apologize to you?" 

I said, "Nope, but I forgave 'So-and-so' anyway."

I raised my son with values I cherish.  We have a special relationship and when I would mess up as a Mother or he would mess up as a son. . .We would almost immediately apologize, be quick to forgive and forget, and move on. Never to look back. 

Unfortunately, there are a tremendous amount of students who attended the "Old School Way of Life".  Where they learned you don't dare apologize or admit you are wrong.  It is about being right and everyone else being wrong.  Its primary principle is that life is full of excuses, alibis and justifications, so take your pick.  And it is heavily promoted that there is always an argument available to validate one's behavior.  Well, what *"Teacher Trisha" would like to do is wrap her arms around these students and tell them that, forgiveness is essential for healing, growing, and a life of joy. There is nothing to fear by saying, "I am sorry."  Healing is a beautiful experience.

Matthew 18:35 says that when we forgive from our hearts, then the emotional pain is gone.

The quickest way for healing to begin is to in our lives is to forgive others. . .Forgiveness has to start with your heart because forgiveness does not set the other person free, it sets you free from the pain and bitterness.  

*Teacher Trisha is what my students called me when I taught 5th Grade.