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"Proof of Earnest Monkey" - Another Week of Hysterical MLS Goofs

Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887


It’s Blooper Day,  my friends – and some of this week’s real estate advertising and MLS gaffes are as baffling as Richard Sherman’s post-game rant.  Let these be a lesson as to why one shouldn’t type during a play-off kegger. Thanks to Jane Peters and Patrick Martin, both from L.A., for their great contributions. Please enjoy: 

Fish Sticks

“Leave card for filet” (Oh, is that a fish? I just thought you were just happy to see me.)

“House is moving” (Newsflash: Landslides are not a selling feature.)

“Wine close” (Yeah, when the wine box is empty, the party is over for me, too.)

“Key under may” (May is admirably proactive in her efforts to get a date.)

“Be sure to Goggle us” (I’d prefer to gag-gle you.)


“If sow, will be canceled.” (Sign in the window at the Piggly Wiggly Butcher Bistro.)

“Yard hass lush grond” (Seller has a lush agent.)

“Please wipe sal off shoes” (Whispered Vito as Tony Two-Fingers stuffed the last vestiges of Sal into the Caddie.)

“Can’t fix crack” (Let me guess – What God said as he handed you to your folks?)

“Trees with sweet tamberines” (Hence the aging folk singers puffing grass in the orchard.)

Sausage Stir-Fry

“Pls keep seller’s pets insides” (Yet another source of intestines  for all your sausage-making endeavors…)

“New landscraping” (Is this a yard or a compost pile?)

“Nice neighbrahood” (It’s good to know this area of town got a lift.)

“Buying a home is a mayor decision” (If that decision is made by the crack-smoking Mayor of Toronto, you’ll probably end up in a trailer park.)

“Nice Santa Fed house” (Thus the reindeer poop in the kitchen.)


“Large bump on back porch” (This must be code for “I have a festering pimple on my butt.”)

“Require proof of earnest monkey” (The monkey can't write an earnest letter - he’s too busy playing with his banana.)


That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!


Please be sure to view my beautiful California listings at: http://www.gwenbanta.com. Thank you! 

Carol Zingone
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Florida Network Realty - Jacksonville Beach, FL
Global Realtor in Jax Beach, FL - ABR, CRS, CIPS

Love the earnest monkey - that is awesome!

Mar 11, 2014 09:03 PM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Spell check says "A OK" but the wrong word in multi tasking happens.

Mar 19, 2014 10:50 PM
JC Melvin Broker & Trainer
JC Melvin - KW The Marketplace - Las Vegas, NV
Digital Marketing - the key in today's real estate

I sure enjoy your posts. They actually make me laugh out loud each time I read them. Looks like agents just need to slow down for a moment when they are jotting their notes. LOL.

JC in Vegas

Apr 03, 2014 12:49 AM
Wesley Hassell
Keller Williams Arizona Living Realty - Kingman, AZ
"Less Hassle with Wes Hassell"

Great read...remember seeing "Wayne's Coating" throughout. That one made me chuckle!

Apr 03, 2014 01:33 AM
Michelle Finnamore
Toronto GTA, Alliston, Newmarket - Vaughan, ON
Preparing your property for sale

love the one about key is under May. now that would be something to see when someone came to get the key!

Apr 06, 2014 09:34 PM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Hilarious!  I don't know how you can continue to hit these out of the park, but they are always too funny!!!

Apr 07, 2014 11:01 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

I always come back to this blog post when I need a good smile, thank you 

Apr 17, 2014 01:52 PM
Cheri Long
Metro Brokers/Priority Properties, Inc. - Centennial, CO
Metro Denver Realtor- Your Home is my PRIORITY

Hysterical, thanks for the great laughs.  

Aug 18, 2014 02:09 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you all for your comments, and please look for another Blooper Blog post on Friday.

Aug 18, 2014 03:29 PM
Jean Glass
Better Homes & Gardens - Scottsdale, AZ
A Tradition Of Trust In Real Estate

This is such a great blog that you do!  Keep the quirky stuff coming, we all love to read what you share!!

Jun 18, 2015 01:52 AM
Nancy Robinson Ranked #6 in MI
Century 21 Town and Country - Royal Oak, MI
#11 Century21 Realtor in the US, #16 in the World

I read one this week  that boasted Hardee siding,, ( do you want a shake with that?)  followed by Hearty Plack siding,  I guess you gotta have  a little heart to be in the biz or maybe just heart trouble, 

Oct 27, 2015 06:52 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you so much, Jean!


Nancy, that's hilarious! I remember one blooper that said "Ann Sucks tiles."  

Oct 28, 2015 01:51 AM
Allie Angeloni
Long Realty - Oro Valley, AZ

Have to love the 'earnest monkey' - double HA!!  What a great Blog Gwen Banta!  Totally agree that many do not proof-read, and then there are many who cannot spell . . .  oh, boy . . . 

Mar 07, 2016 07:17 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you for rading, Allie!

Mar 07, 2016 08:33 AM
Kevin Morris
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Hodrick Realty - Danville, PA
Real Estate agent serving danville and surrounding

Personally I refuse to part with an earnest monkey if I have one. Especially if it is a capuchin.

Mar 30, 2016 10:39 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

I'm glad to hear you don't monkey around, Kevin!

Mar 30, 2016 11:05 AM
Dan & Laurie Pittsenbarger Team
Keller Williams Western Realty - Bellingham, WA
Lakeside & Coastal Single Family Homes

Thanks for the levity.

Apr 30, 2019 06:22 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

I am glad you enjoyed the post, Dan Pittsenbarger. 

Apr 30, 2019 05:59 PM
Michael Cole
CPG Tours - Corona, CA

Too funny! A lesson for proof-reading before posting. I can't believe what "auto-correct" does to some of my stuff.

Nov 10, 2022 08:52 AM
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Autaugaville, AL


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