It’s Blooper Day, my friends – and some of this week’s real estate advertising and MLS gaffes are as baffling as Richard Sherman’s post-game rant. Let these be a lesson as to why one shouldn’t type during a play-off kegger. Thanks to Jane Peters and Patrick Martin, both from L.A., for their great contributions. Please enjoy:
Fish Sticks
“Leave card for filet” (Oh, is that a fish? I just thought you were just happy to see me.)
“House is moving” (Newsflash: Landslides are not a selling feature.)
“Wine close” (Yeah, when the wine box is empty, the party is over for me, too.)
“Key under may” (May is admirably proactive in her efforts to get a date.)
“Be sure to Goggle us” (I’d prefer to gag-gle you.)
Pig-sicles
“If sow, will be canceled.” (Sign in the window at the Piggly Wiggly Butcher Bistro.)
“Yard hass lush grond” (Seller has a lush agent.)
“Please wipe sal off shoes” (Whispered Vito as Tony Two-Fingers stuffed the last vestiges of Sal into the Caddie.)
“Can’t fix crack” (Let me guess – What God said as he handed you to your folks?)
“Trees with sweet tamberines” (Hence the aging folk singers puffing grass in the orchard.)
Sausage Stir-Fry
“Pls keep seller’s pets insides” (Yet another source of intestines for all your sausage-making endeavors…)
“New landscraping” (Is this a yard or a compost pile?)
“Nice neighbrahood” (It’s good to know this area of town got a lift.)
“Buying a home is a mayor decision” (If that decision is made by the crack-smoking Mayor of Toronto, you’ll probably end up in a trailer park.)
“Nice Santa Fed house” (Thus the reindeer poop in the kitchen.)
Monkey-shines
“Large bump on back porch” (This must be code for “I have a festering pimple on my butt.”)
“Require proof of earnest monkey” (The monkey can't write an earnest letter - he’s too busy playing with his banana.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
Please be sure to view my beautiful California listings at: http://www.gwenbanta.com. Thank you!
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