The Lost Art of Conversation?

I have always thought a conversation was a two way exchange.  One person expresses themselves, the other person listens (or reads) and then responds.  Then the or other person listens and so on and so on.  I recently wrote a post about how important it is to listen, you can see that here.  

 

While writing that post a "conversation" I recently had with a tenant came to mind.  This tenant was one of the most difficult people I have ever spoken to. Not only was she unreasonable, angry and argumentative, she did not listen to anything I had to say.  She was clearly skilled in something that may be a akin to conversation. A unique and strange way of communicating.  I am not sure what you would call this method of communication.  The best I can come up with is: confusing, intimidating and manipulating the actual issue at hand.

 

The subject of the conversations with this tenant is actually another post, about charging late fees, in this post I just want to focus on the how, not the why.  To get a real idea of how it feels to have this type of conversations, picture a battle where one person is using a Nerf gun, and the other a machine gun.

 

            Vs         

 

Anytime that I tried to say anything this person started yelling "LET ME SPEAK!"  While she spoke, and I listened, she found a way to steer the conversation further and further away from the issue I called about.  For example, I called to ask about her rent being late and that conversation quickly changed to my unfair demands as a property manager, to her not being at fault for my emails not reaching her, to me creating fake emails (with time stamps), to Wells Fargo lying to her.. the post office not being able to be trusted and finally how asking someone to mail something in this day and age, being an unfair and unreasonable request. 

 

She went on to make up things that I supposedly said and did.  If tried to deny it and/or explain that I actually had proof to the contrary, she quickly cut me off with her  "LET ME SPEAK!"
 The conversation wrapped up with her stating that she wanted me fired as her property manager and insisting I tell the owner that she wants the previous one back. I am assuming she thought that by making it about me, I would be defensive and argumentative back and the real issue would be forgotten in the emotions of the moment. I hate to admit it but I actually started laughing at one point. I doubt she could hear me though, so I don't feel too bad about it. I couldn't help myself, it was such a ridiculous "conversation," that I felt like I may have been on Candid Camera or maybe being phone tapped.  It turned out to be real though.  

 

It made me wonder if maybe some people really don't understand how a conversation is supposed to go. We live in a world that makes it too easy to focus on ourselves and our needs.  There really is no such thing as waiting for anything any more. If you want a book, you download it. If you need something you go online and order it and if you have Amazon Prime you have it in two days. This may have an effect on the patience or lack of in most people today. This woman was so focused on her agenda, she never once considered that the other person she was talking "at," may have a point of view that deserved to be heard.