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"Hand-painted tikes" - Colorful & Hilarious MLS Goofs

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

It’s time for the Blooper Reel, folks, and this week’s bloopers did not disappoint. Every week I receive contributions from all over the U.S. and Canada. These include hilarious gaffes from MLS sites as well as from real estate ads. Thanks to Patty Da Silva from Davie, Florida and Patrick Martin of L.A. for some whoppers. Names are withheld to protect the guilty, so let’s enjoy a few laughs:

 

Did I Say That?

“Nice now - much better than beef” (McDonald’s ad – shortly after the “meat” was identified as wildebeest…)

“Just needs a moo” (Said the McDonald’s inspector as he placed a skull and crossbones on the door.)

“AC will be faxed” (Interesting – is it a paper fan?)

“This is a multiple offer scenery” (Grinned the sailor as he exited the house of ill repute.)

“Hidden safe in closet” (Uh, do you see any contradictions here, Sherlock?)

“DWP must remove 2 tees” (It’s hard to keep those annoying aerialist golfers off the power lines.)

Did I Mean That?

“Hand-painted tikes” (Uh, either you have ugly kids or those are garden gnomes, dude.)

“No evidence of shiting” (Have you tried a coffee enema?)

“Attendant on roof will be removed” (Obviously this house is on a Jet Blue flight path…)

“Cleaver use of metals” (“Lizzie Borden took and ax…”)

Did I Type That?

“Cat in driveway will be towed” (Just give him a parking ticket and a Denver Boot.)

“House on tent acres” (That’s good to know for my bivouac weekends with the Boy Scouts.)

“Drop in for a few migetes” (Uh, I believe they prefer to be called “small people.”)

“Electric decor” (Reason #1 not to wear a metal hat if there's an outlet near the john and your aim sucks.)

Did I Pass That???

“No open house Super Bowel Sunday” (It seems what was open on "Super Bowel" Sunday was your-over-active colon, pal.)

 

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!

 

Please be sure to view my beautiful California listings at: http://www.gwenbanta.com. Thank you! 

 

Richard Iarossi
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Crofton, MD
Crofton MD Real Estate, Annapolis MD Real Estate

Gwen,

Thanks for the laugh on a busy Friday afternoon. Maybe someday we will have context check,  as well as spell check.

Rich

Mar 14, 2014 05:46 AM
Robert Rauf
CMG Home Loans - Toms River, NJ

Typos can be fun, and Spell check cant see the wrong word!  but it is still the pictures in the MLS that I love the most.  there is a page on FaceBook called "bad MLS photos"

Always entertaining to scroll through.

Mar 14, 2014 05:50 AM
Richard Bazinet /MBA, CRS, ABR
West USA Realty - Scottsdale, AZ
Phoenix Scottsdale. Sellers, Buyers & Relocations

Now you did it Gwen! All your fault. Yes, it is. Now I find myself looking forward to Friday to read your Bloopers column.

Mar 14, 2014 07:05 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you all for reading!

 

Marti, my sister's cat needs towing. He is easy to mistake for a foot stool!

 

Jill, if I could dance like Ellen, I wouldn't need to sell real estate!

 

Jay, at least you now know where the cash is.

 

 

Mar 14, 2014 08:48 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

I see a lot of you are concerned about the cat. If you had met my sister's evil, fat cat, you would understand the principles of "cat towing." That cat could scare Steven King!

Mar 14, 2014 08:51 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Mike, "ensuite bath off the master comes with large storage shed" is priceless. I suspect the shed was really an outhouse...but kudos to them for a clever way to market!  ;-)

Mar 14, 2014 08:55 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Adrian, "earnest monkey" is in my top ten - along with "large dick for entertaining."

Mar 14, 2014 08:56 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty and Anne, as an L.A. realtor, I have also seen Hollywood Bowl spelled as "Hollywood Bowel" at least 3 times. Crappy, huh?

Mar 14, 2014 08:58 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Richard, "context check" is a brilliant idea. Of course, that would require literacy, which may be a dying concept...

Mar 14, 2014 09:00 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Kristi - "cars in the window" is hilarious! I once saw a car impaled in someone's French doors, so I hope there was no drama involved!

Mar 14, 2014 09:02 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Scott, "classic too fast to pat sttention" - you are sew write! :-)

Mar 14, 2014 09:03 AM
Barbara Altieri
Better Homes and Gardens RE Shore and Country Properties - Shelton, CT
REALTOR-Fairfield County CT Homes/Condos For Sale

Gwen -- As funny as all of this is, it's really sad that listings are being presented with typos ... and they're not just ordinary typos ...  but ones that draw the wrong kind of attention to the listings. Your comments are priceless, per usual.

Mar 14, 2014 11:30 AM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

What about advertising in the MLS that the pest report stated the home was free of "Wood Destroying Orgasms."

Mar 14, 2014 11:40 AM
Evelyn Kennedy
Alain Pinel Realtors - Alameda, CA
Alameda, Real Estate, Alameda, CA

Gwen:

I can't believe agents really put those bloopers on the MLS.  I guess they don't believe in spell check and proof reading.

Mar 14, 2014 12:09 PM
Bryan Robertson
Los Altos, CA

I've been missing these lately and this was a fine batch of major typos.  Love that last one, which was kind of appropriate given the pasting Denver got.

Mar 17, 2014 02:12 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Myrl, "free of "Wood Destroying Orgasms" has to be on the all-time winner list! Look for it in my next post, and thank you for MY laugh of the day!

 

Mar 17, 2014 02:50 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bryan, I wish I had said that!!!

Mar 17, 2014 02:51 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Hilarious! Speaking of colons...Just found one Gwen: Just added three new pictures of the repaired indoor poo. Polyp removal maybe but who wants to see pictures of a colonoscopy?!

Mar 25, 2014 02:26 AM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Super Bowel Sunday? No wonder I stayed home! Tee hee! Gwen, this week's list was one of the best ever!~

Mar 25, 2014 04:03 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Having a bit of a blue day - so came over for a pick-me-up. Your humor always makes me laugh out loud.

Jun 28, 2014 11:34 AM