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Coming From a Place of Yes

By
Real Estate Agent with Downing-Frye Realty, Bonita Springs, FL 676419

No Yes AllowedHow many more transactions do you think you would close if you just said ‘yes’ more often?  How about if your buyers or sellers just said ‘yes’ more often.

  • Yes, instead of a reflexive no.
  • Yes, instead of a fearful no.
  • Yes, instead of an uneducated no.

Some people just come from a place of no because if the idea isn’t heading in the direction they imagined … it must be wrong.

I’ve been a real estate agent for a long time so I’ve been exposed to more than my fair share of ‘no’.  There are so many transactions that would have gone smoother, faster, friendlier, less stressful if there the person in charge wasn’t a ‘no’body.  I’m sure we’ve all be there.

In the last day or two I’ve had a few interactions with people who came from a place of no.  I love people watching and I watched in awe as a server waiting a table refused to take credit cards for each person who was ordering a drink with dinner. It was a large party and the dinners had been paid for in advance.  A few of the diners decided to order adult beverages.  I sipped on my club soda and observed the server deciding that she only wanted to handle cash.  Nobody without cash ordered, we were all traveling at a conference and trying to use our business expense cards. 

So, what was her ‘no’ damage in tips?  It was about twenty minutes later and she returned and told folks that she’d take the credit cards.  Shame for her, those folks would have been on their second tip-able drink by then.

On another occasion, buyers I was working with wanted me to Fedex documents for signature.  I let them know that I would instead be sending a link for electronic signatures.  I was told ‘no’ without hesitation because of fear and lack of education.  Once I explained the process and promised that “they couldn’t make a mistake” they said they’d try it. By the end of the transaction, they had insisted that they sign their closing documents via Docusign. (cash buyers)

Many, many years ago I sold a condo sight unseen. It was the first time for me to do that and I’ve since had the opportunity to do it dozens of time. I could have said ‘no’ because it was a foreign idea but I didn’t. The listing agent didn’t want to accept the contract because the buyers hadn’t “seen” the home. I had taken photos, drawn a floor plan, rendered my opinion and the buyers trusted me enough to believe the purchase and the ability of the inspectors that would verify the property was sound.

Most of the time people listen with the intent of responding instead of understanding so those “no” answers come easily.  Imagine the possibility if you just think more ‘yes’ than ‘no’.  Imagine if you asked your opposition, whether it is a co-broking agent or a client to just imagine if they said yes and it all actually worked out. 

 

Maybe the opposition just needs to ponder on their reflexive no and have a chance to reconsider.  

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Comments(46)

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Bruce Kunz
C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100 - Howell, NJ
REALTOR®, Brick & Howell NJ Homes for Sale

This is a great post, Chris. Saying, or hearing, "Yes" does require more effort and often a bit of adventure. Usually a good thing.
Thanks for sharing and getting me thinking<
Bruce

 

Apr 30, 2014 04:29 AM
Brenda J. Andrew
ULTIMA REAL ESTATE - Beach, TX
Broker/REALTOR in N Houston & Corpus Christi

I love hearing the word yes!  It is so much more positive.  Thanks for posting!

Apr 30, 2014 04:50 AM
Joe Graham
Graham Real Estate Group - Naperville, IL
Naperville Real Estate Marketing Specialist

Very thought-provoking post!

Thanks for sharing!

Chicago2NapervilleRealEstate.com

Apr 30, 2014 05:15 AM
Marie Story
Coldwell Banker - Pinecrest (Miami) - Pinecrest, FL
Broker Associate, Pinecrest (Miami) Specialist

This reminds me of a book I read, Jeffrey Gitomer's "Little Gold Book of YES!".  It's a quick read and I highly recommend it - YES!

Apr 30, 2014 05:39 AM
Tamra Lee Ulmer
Arizona Resource Realty - Payson, AZ
NRBA ~FORCE~ Over 1000 REO Assets SOLD!

Great Post. Great "food for thought". A little optimism can go a long way. Don't regret saying, "Yes" and make someone's day, or make someone's dream home come true!

Apr 30, 2014 05:57 AM
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Saying "yes" often rewards us with experiences we would not want to miss.  A "no" at the right time has its benefits, too.

Apr 30, 2014 08:38 AM
Silvia Dukes PA, Broker Associate, CRS, CIPS, SRES
Tropic Shores Realty - Ich spreche Deutsch! - Spring Hill, FL
Florida Waterfront and Country Club Living

Chris, there are those times when a little faith goes a long way in turning that no into a yes.  Often it's fear of the unknown that needs to be overcome.

Apr 30, 2014 11:00 AM
Bill Reddington
Re/max By The Sea - Destin, FL
Destin Florida Real Estate

Starting last year I decided to get rid of all the negativity in my life. Was hard at first but it has worked out. I don't accept no anymore.

Apr 30, 2014 12:02 PM
Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

 There are so many transactions that would have gone smoother, faster, friendlier, less stressful if there the person in charge wasn’t a ‘no’body.  I’m sure we’ve all be there.

 

sooo true and I will just say YES>

 

Apr 30, 2014 12:24 PM
Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

"Imagine the possibility if you just think more ‘yes’ than ‘no’.  Imagine if you asked your opposition, whether it is a co-broking agent or a client to just imagine if they said yes and it all actually worked out. "  Yes is the way to go.. so true.

Apr 30, 2014 12:33 PM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

I say a resounding YES to the idea of this post. I do say 'yes' a lot.

Apr 30, 2014 12:57 PM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I agree - saying yes would definitely help things go more smoothly (or at least an, "I'll try").  I'm wondering if that waitress in the first example, though, was told by management that she couldn't take credit cards for individual drinks so her "no" was company generated.

Apr 30, 2014 08:59 PM
Chris Griffith
Downing-Frye Realty, Bonita Springs, FL - Bonita Springs, FL
Bonita Springs Listing Specialist - Agent

Thank you to everyone who stopped in and commented. I was traveling yesterday and caught in those storms and subsequent mayhem ensued so I wasn't able to keep up with you all. My apologies.

May 01, 2014 01:24 AM
Phil Stevenson, CRMP
PS Mortgage Lending 305-791-4874 or 888-845-6630 - Miami, FL
"Mortgage Nerd" in Miami, Florida and Texas

Chris, I've had many people tell me no and for the very same reasons you described. People who are always saying 'no' miss out on a lot of things, whether it'd be a deal, a home, a tip. It reminds me of that move, "Yes Man," where a man who was always used to saying 'no' finally began to say 'yes.' Missed opportunities come in all shapes and sizes and so do great successes, but we don't know which is which if we are always saying 'no.'

May 01, 2014 01:50 AM
Brian Rugg
Rugg Realty LLC Sun City Texas 512-818-6700 - Georgetown, TX
Sun City TX Real Estate - Georgetown, TX Real Est

Hello Chris: I don't recall it being said quite this way before,  but I couldn't agree more.  Finding a way to yes is essential in our business.

May 01, 2014 06:31 AM
Fred Griffin Florida Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

     I saw a good Offer die last week because one of the Parties said, "No".  It had nothing to do with the price.  It was a disagreement over some personal property that had very little if any value.   What a shame, and how frustrating.

May 01, 2014 11:51 AM
Toni Weidman
Sailwinds Realty - Trinity, FL
20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL

That was a clear expression of what I've seen happen manty times, Chris. The automatic no, I call it. Then we go on from there. Great post.

May 02, 2014 07:26 AM
Larry Johnston
Broker, Friends & Neighbors Real Estate and Elkhart County Subdivisions, LLC - Elkhart, IN
Broker,Friends & Neighbors Real Estate, Elkhart,IN

Hi Chris, YES, that would be great if there were nore YES's in our lives.  Have a great weekend.

May 02, 2014 11:42 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Chris- I think there are people who are just geared to say "no" and take a negative view of everything. 

May 03, 2014 08:39 AM
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC • Short Sale • Probate

Often ''No'' - is another way to say ''Hello''~ right?

It is true, the easiest way to stop a conversation is to say No, but it takes two to stop a conversation:)

 

May 08, 2014 06:27 PM