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Professional confrontation.

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Richard Weisser Realty

Professional confrontation by Richard WeisserIt is human nature to avoid confrontation. Most of us endeavor to avoid adversarial discourse and tend to either seek compromise or at times we might even give in without a fight.

But there are times when confrontation is unavoidable. When two or more sides in a transaction interpret the ebb and flow of satisfactory fulfillment of a contract differently things can get pretty intense. Hackles can be raised and defensive postures assumed.

But there are steps that one can take to maintain professionalism during a determined discussion.

First and foremost: Don’t make it personal! This is business, and personal aspersions will only exacerbate an already problematic situation.

State your case calmly, clearly, and distinctly. Include all relative facts and information in your statement. Include what you KNOW to be true and not what is inferred.

Listen to the other side without interruption. (That’s the hardest thing for me to do!) Sometimes ALL of the facts paint an entirely different picture than one or two anomalies.

You can agree to disagree, but you MUST seek a resolution. After all, the purpose of confrontation is not to assault or berate, but to achieve an outcome that is at least tolerated by everyone involved.

If a resolution is not achieved, then try to set up a follow-up discussion with additional input from the parties involved. Sometimes it takes two or more confrontations to come to a successful conclusion.

Confrontation is rarely pleasant, but it does not need to be dreaded. At the end of the day EVERYONE wants to close the deal!

 

And if professionalism is maintained throughout the process, so much the better!

Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

Before you start: Make sure you have all the points of your view written down. It can simply be an outline and very detailed, but you need to make sure you have everything recorded.

May 27, 2014 10:44 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Richard, Too many times agents get in their own way and it becomes more about them than their clients. I respect the professionals who avoid the drama that can carry a transaction in order to get to a successful end.

May 27, 2014 11:08 PM
Bruce Kunz
C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100 - Howell, NJ
REALTOR®, Brick & Howell NJ Homes for Sale

Excellent advice, Richard! Keeping the client's needs & wishes in focus helps a lot.
I'm going to keep this to review when I run into a confrontational situation. Fortunately, they've been rare.
Thanks for sharing,
Bruce

 

May 27, 2014 11:37 PM
Scott Seaton Jr. SLS Home Insp
SLS Home Inspections-Kankakee Will Iroquois Grundy Counties - Bourbonnais, IL
The Home Inspector With a Heart!

I am looking forward to a resolution of a situation I'm in right now. So far so good, but I've been told by others that I'm in for a battle. We shall see. 

May 28, 2014 12:18 AM
Graziella Bruner
NCS Premier Real Estate - Detroit, MI
Associate Broker - Serving Wayne & Oakland County

Keeping your Cool and being calm is sometimes hard for some people, but as a professional and knowing that it's not about me, does help!  My job is to get my client to closing.  I find if you're sitting and discussing it helps, some people like being up in your face when they're standing and that's what makes the converstation get heated and you do have to walk away and come back another day when both parties are calm.  Feelings are just that feelings - doesn't make them right or wrong, they're just feelings, but the facts are facts and that's what we have to go on!

Thanks for sharing these great tips and advice.

May 28, 2014 01:21 AM
Eve Alexander
Buyers Broker of Florida - Tampa, FL
Exclusively Representing ONLY Tampa Home Buyers

Agree to disagree? 

If all agents would take a contract class, so they could understand what the contract says, there would be no disagreement.

My pet peeve is agent stupidity.  Read the contract and follow it!

Nicely written blog.

Eve

 

May 28, 2014 01:26 AM
Jim Beitz
Keller Williams Success Realty - East Layton, UT

Sometimes you have to back up and resort to something like - all communication going forward will take place via email.  Email is good for removing emotion, and someome wanting to go to battle personally is less likely to attack in writing.

May 28, 2014 01:47 AM
Phil Stevenson, CRMP
PS Mortgage Lending 305-791-4874 or 888-845-6630 - Miami, FL
"Mortgage Nerd" in Miami, Florida and Texas

Richard, it's never pleasant but sometimes it's necessary. No need to be unprofessional or childish about it. Good business happens when both parties can talk it out and move on with a better sense of understanding. If we take all professional fights as personal attacks, it's going to be a long transaction.

May 28, 2014 02:56 AM
Ann Zieve
Keller Williams Success Realty - Eden, UT
Unmatched Ownership Experience

You are right. Nothing can be achieved if you aren't on the same page. Thanks for sharing Richard!

May 28, 2014 05:40 AM
Jeff Jensen
The Federal Savings Bank/Lending in 50 states - Greenwich, CT

One of my attorneys has a sign in his conference room that simply says, "Play Nice!"

May 28, 2014 08:09 AM
Brian Olsen
Portland, Lake Oswego, West Linn & Dunthorpe Neighborhoods, Waterfront, Luxury & Floating Homes - Lake Oswego, OR
Cooper Jacobs Real Estate Group | Keller Williams

One needs to ask them self...what can I do to improve the situation? Maybe nothing but it doesn't hurt to ask. Right?

May 28, 2014 10:01 AM
Richard Weisser
Richard Weisser Realty - Newnan, GA
Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional

This post was prompted by a real life confrontation I had yesterday!

May 28, 2014 10:07 AM
Richard Weisser
Richard Weisser Realty - Newnan, GA
Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional

Sharon K...

When I retire from sales next year I will be doing a lot of writing, and hope to publish several books about everything from real estate to poetry!

May 28, 2014 10:09 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

I have seen several egos collide over the years with many agents. Your guidelines are sound Richard!

May 29, 2014 01:39 AM
Elisa Bruno-Midili, NYS Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker
Cafe Realty - Mount Kisco, NY
Cafe Realty 914.230.0650

Being detachd from the situation is necessary to maintain the delicate balance of different personalities.

May 29, 2014 02:04 AM
Jeff Jensen
The Federal Savings Bank/Lending in 50 states - Greenwich, CT

when dealing with objections I always tell them, "I know how you feel, many of my clients have felt that way but when I told them "whatever it is", they found that "the solution"

May 29, 2014 07:53 AM
Charles Stallions Property Manager
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pace, FL
Pensacola, Pace & Gulf Breeze Property Management

I am trying really I am I have had a challenge with this my whole life and I am figuring out it is not really personal on either side. 

May 29, 2014 01:27 PM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Hey, Richard!  I included this post in today's Last Week's Favorites post.  And Happy June!

May 31, 2014 11:58 PM
Monte Wall
Keller Williams Premier Realty - Katy, TX
Keller Williams Premier Realty - Katy, Texas

Richard, these are all great points.  I've allowed myself to get drawn into emotional confrontations with other agents in the past.  But I learned the hard way that it's best to not participate.  Just state the facts and try to move on.

Jun 01, 2014 01:12 AM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

Great points, Richard.  If resolutions aren't found, no one "wins" or gets what they have worked so hard and long for.  Where's the wisdom in that?

Gene

Jun 03, 2014 01:17 PM