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A Merge Manifesto. Or How to Move In Together Mindfully.

By
Home Stager with Hampton ReDesign, Home Staging and Redesign

Do you have clients who are selling to move in together? I recently wrote about a colleague who, in preparation for married life, is selling "hers",  "his" and buying "theirs".


If you 're considering getting married or you and your favorite person are moving in together, this decision is a big one. Who stays and who moves? Do you decide to sell both homes and buy a new home to start afresh?

man and woman
Once you’ve made the choice to move in together, the next decision is how you’re going to merge all your stuff into one home that reflects each persons’ taste and style. Combining households isn't for the faint of heart!


If you're just starting out, chances are you haven't accumulated much. But if your transition is happening mid life, the move may include one or more lifetimes of accumulated furniture, memories and treasures.


Now is a great opportunity to take a good hard look at everything you both own. Is it still relevant to your life today? Does it have a purpose or is it dead weight? Do you still like it? That’s the most important question. Because if you don’t like it or it’s not pleasing to you then it’s time to ditch it. Do you have duplicates? There are only so many potato mashers you're going to need. Keep the best and toss the rest!

5  Tips on Merging Your Stuff
    1.    Plan and measure each room. Know what furniture will fit before moving it into your new space. Size alone may be the determining factor on what to keep and what to sell or donate.


    2.    Some dedicated personal space will keep everyone happy. Need a home office? Make sure you have a setup that will support you. Not in the master bedroom though.


    3.    Hire a professional to help you with the transition. With the help of an objective eye, different styles can be combined to look fresh and new.


    4.    Only keep your best art and your best collectibles. Truly. If you both have different tastes, then this mantra is even more important.


    5.    Leave room in your home to gradually add new pieces you can choose together. Ours vs mine is a recipe for harmony.

Leave room to create a new home that you both can feel at home in. That’s the most important tip of all. Minimize the stress of moving in together by focusing on the positive aspects of your new life and be willing to leave the past behind. 


It's challenging enough to begin a new chapter of your life. I think focusing on the present and the future is a great way to start.


My colleague has already made an appointment to have me come in and help pick colors and make sense of his and hers furniture a few days after they close on their new home.


Did you face any challenges when you made a move? I'd love to hear your  "merging" tips!

Posted by

Tessa Skeens

Interior Design, Real Estate Staging and Marketing Support 

M 817-891-9563  

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Comments(13)

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Julia Maher
Nestings: Connecticut Home Staging and Model Homes - Fairfield, CT
Connecticut Home Stager

Very thoughtful post, Tessa!  Move-in services such as you describe are a great business for Stagers.

Jul 05, 2014 01:25 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Excellent tips for combining two households of accumulated stuff!    It's not a subject you see too many blogs dedicated to.

Jul 06, 2014 11:04 AM
Tessa Skeens
Hampton ReDesign, Home Staging and Redesign - Grand Junction, CO
Staging For Realtors, Builders & Investors

Thanks Julia, yes I think we are in a great position to help clients move IN as well as Out!

 

Hi Sharon, I've made a few moves and I think until you do it's hard to counsel others on what to do. Stuff is just stuff but relationships are priceless :) 

 

Hope y'all had a great Fourth weekend!!

Jul 07, 2014 01:47 AM
Larry Johnston
Broker, Friends & Neighbors Real Estate and Elkhart County Subdivisions, LLC - Elkhart, IN
Broker,Friends & Neighbors Real Estate, Elkhart,IN

Good morning Tessa, Very informative blog.  Great suggestions and good direction. "Suggested"

Jul 08, 2014 11:09 PM
Tessa Skeens
Hampton ReDesign, Home Staging and Redesign - Grand Junction, CO
Staging For Realtors, Builders & Investors

Good morning Larry. Thank you! Hope your hump day is a great one.

Jul 09, 2014 12:36 AM
Anita Clark
Coldwell Banker Access Realty ~ 478.960.8055 - Warner Robins, GA
Realtor - Homes for Sale in Warner Robins GA

Tessa: This is a very good blueprint for combining two houses and making one home. 

Jul 12, 2014 02:12 AM
Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

Teena, Your advice is good and suggesting that they leave room for some together purchases is a really good one.

Jul 12, 2014 05:46 PM
Tessa Skeens
Hampton ReDesign, Home Staging and Redesign - Grand Junction, CO
Staging For Realtors, Builders & Investors

Thank you Anita, I appreciate your thumbs up!

 

I like that phrase, "together purchases" Debbie. Hope your week is off to a good start.

Jul 14, 2014 03:03 AM
Ron Marshall
Marshall Enterprises - Saint Michael, MN
Birdhouse Builder Extraordinaire

Tessa, we had a similar conundrum over 25 years ago.  When we moved to our home, everything was literally in the garage in cartons.  Only things that we both approved of came in.  Once we had gone through everything, each kept a few sentimental items in a couple boxes in the basement.  Years of dampness took care of most of that!

Aug 06, 2014 11:25 PM
Tessa Skeens
Hampton ReDesign, Home Staging and Redesign - Grand Junction, CO
Staging For Realtors, Builders & Investors
Sounds like a recipe for a great future together Ron ... good for you both at drawing the line!
Aug 07, 2014 06:55 AM
Tessa Skeens
Hampton ReDesign, Home Staging and Redesign - Grand Junction, CO
Staging For Realtors, Builders & Investors
Sounds like a recipe for a great future together Ron ... good for you both at drawing the line!
Aug 07, 2014 06:56 AM
Pamela Seley
West Coast Realty Division - Murrieta, CA
Residential Real Estate Agent serving SW RivCo CA

Tessa, so many decisions when getting married. It's always a challenge to rid things we no longer need. 

Sep 07, 2014 03:24 AM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Great advice Tessa, it has been a while since my wife and I merged, but I do see this with my renters from time to time.

Aug 20, 2016 02:04 PM