I Broke 3 Hearts Today

Real Estate Agent with Solutions Real Estate CA DRE #01490977

I Broke 3 Hearts Today


It was another situation that none of us likes...the need to let buyers know they did NOT get the home they really wanted in a multiple bid situation, despite doing everything they could to make the best offer, including optimal terms and conditions.


Sometimes the heart gets broken in a multiple offer situationOf course I prefer to deliver good news, but that is not always the case.


And we don't always have an explanation for why things did not turn out as we hoped, or expected. It's one thing when buyers are not making an optimal offer with strong terms and conditions, but so much harder when you develop a strong offer strategy, do all the right things including making a great offer based on comps and the cleanest terms and conditions you can muster, and it still does not go the way you want.


There is no way to soft-peddle the message.


The reality is that it did not work out, we are sorry for that even though we did the best we could, and we have to move on knowing that our efforts were our best. We don't know why the sellers made the choice they did (although we might guess) and ultimately it really doesn't matter.


Time to move on to the next round of properties that could work. And know that sometimes no matter what you do someone else comes out the winner.


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Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude


That IS the right attitude. It's frustrating, but there are usually better things to come along. Thanks for stopping by


Jul 29, 2014 01:58 PM #6
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
RE/MAX Northwest. - Tacoma, WA
Tacoma Washington Agent/Broker & Market Authority!

Our job is to do our best for a client. It is not taken lightly backing away however it happened. We don't make money by going up against a wall...

Jul 29, 2014 02:04 PM #7
William Johnson
Retired - La Jolla, CA
Retired Real Estate Professional

Hi Jeff, It is impossible to get used to this. It takes it's toll on us almost as much as it does the Buyers. On the occasion it has happened to me, at least a couple times, we left our offer as first backup and the original deal fell through. I always suggest we seek that in a multiple offer situation until we come upon an alternative property. That way, should something happen, the buyers get the property and usually get the benefit of a home inspection to boot. I don't want until the offer is considered, I advise we seek the backup position going in so we have a good strategy that is not based on emotion. 

Jul 29, 2014 02:08 PM #8
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

I'm sorry... and I hope you find something for those clients that will make them say "I'm so glad we missed out on that other house. This one is MUCH better."

Jul 29, 2014 02:09 PM #9
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Jeff, yes, it is happening too often where we have to say...

Time to move on to the next round of properties that could work.

Jul 29, 2014 02:40 PM #10
Tammy Adams ~ Realtor / Podcaster
Maricopa Real Estate Co - Maricopa, AZ
A Maricopa Agent who Works, Lives & Loves Maricopa

One thing I have learned is...No matter how perfect these homes that fall through are, I've learned that the home they were "meant" to be in is eventually found. I've had a few clients that went through 4 offers all turned down to find the ultimate home in the end. The one family that lost faith, jumped to a FSBO becuase they knew they would get approved. (Even worse the owner wanting nothing to do with a buyers agent - story for another day) They eneded up miserable as the home had tons of problems. I share these stories now with folks when the deal fall through to remind them that the home they are ment for will show up soon!  Don't lose faith!

Jul 29, 2014 04:59 PM #11
Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

That just stinks, Jeff, esp when you've done all you can to make a strong and fair offer. But, there will be another house that will be even better soon.  I just know it.

Jul 29, 2014 08:47 PM #12
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

When faced with a multiple offer scenario, my advice to buyers is:

"This is no time to make marginal offers.  This is the time to make better than your best offer and "knock everyone else out of competition."

Folks who listen will get their home.

Folks who don't will have to start all over again.  I give them the tools, financing, comps, strategy, well structured offer, etc. 

It's only when they start pinching pennies that they lose.


Jul 29, 2014 10:13 PM #13
AJ Heidmann ~ CRS
McEnearney Associates, Inc. - Alexandria, VA
YOUR Alexandria & Arlington, VA Real Estate Expert

Jeff- As you said, it is especially tough to break the news when they went "all in" on the offer and made it appealing as they possibly could have.  Now it is time for them to get back in the saddle and not focus on what they didn't get... I'm sure you already have another tour planned

Jul 29, 2014 10:15 PM #14
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Jeff. You are right, it is really hard telling a client who has stepped up that they did not prevail. Moving on is key and quickly too.

Jul 29, 2014 10:31 PM #15
Ginny Gorman
RI Real Estate Services ~ 401-529-7849~ RI Waterfront Real Estate - North Kingstown, RI
Homes for Sale in North Kingstown RI and beyond

Having felt that pain myself Jeff you pick yourself up and move on!

Jul 29, 2014 10:41 PM #16
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Paul - we have a fair number of multiple bid situations because of inventory and demand and I always talk with buyers about what can happen. There are few options for these buyers due to needs and budget. All we can do is advise  and help them craft the besst offer they can. There can only be 1 winner

William - well it hasn't happened to me for a while but last spring there were multiple broken hearts. I always tell buyers that you never know about a transaction since they do sometimes fall apart for a variety of reasons.

Marte - thank you for your kind words. I am confident we will find something else that wll work well.



Jul 29, 2014 11:56 PM #17
Suzanne De Vita
Online Associate Editor

Jeff, this one just wasn't meant to be. I'm sure you'll find your buyers another home they'll absolutely love. Sounds like you delivered the bad news as best you could.

Jul 30, 2014 12:55 AM #18
Patty Da Silva, Davie, Southwest Ranches Cooper City, Plantation, Weston, REALTOR
BROKER of Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Davie, FL
Top Listing Broker

I'm sorry to hear about that, Jeff. There's no gentle way to do it but you did it well. Just think that it must be a plan to lead your sellers to a much more beautiful home.

Jul 30, 2014 02:16 AM #19
John Meussner
Mason-McDuffie Mortgage, Conventional Loans, Jumbo Loans, FHA, 203(k), USDA, VA, - Walnut Creek, CA
#MortgageMadeEasy Walnut Creek, CA 484-680-4852

Tough news to break, Jeff.  I've seen buyers lose out in multiple offer situations to only find a home they loved more soon after.  Typically they're happy in the end, and get a better deal, hope that's the way it works out for your buyers.

Jul 30, 2014 04:20 AM #20
Ed Silva
RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

When you give it your best you are left to wonder until you see what it closes for and even then you might still be scratching your head. It was just not meant to be.

Jul 30, 2014 07:00 AM #21
Ted Glover
Alderman Classic Realty, LLC - Moultrie, GA
ABR in Moultrie, Georgia 229-854-5422

Hi Jeff, I agree with you on the post. No easy way to say it to your client. I had the same thing happen to me just two weeks ago. Multiple offer situation. Just hurts to tell someone their offer was not selected. Thanks.

Jul 30, 2014 02:27 PM #22
Suzanne McLaughlin
Sabinske & Associates, Inc. (Albertville, St. Michael) - Saint Michael, MN
Sabinske & Associates, Realtor

Sometimes, those buyers leave their hearts with that home, but, being an ultimate professional that you are, I know you can mend those hearts to find a new love, Jef.

Jul 31, 2014 08:04 AM #23
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Praful - it has happened before and it will happen again. I alwasy talk with buyers about the possibility

Tammy - it is always difficult for buyers in this situation, and so much more common now in our competitive market. Education helps, as does having a frank discussion.

Debbie - it's tough, especially when the buyers did everything right. But there can only be one winner!

Lenn - true, but sometimes no matter how good an offer, someone else may be the winner. All we can do is, as you say, offer the advice, comps, strategy,and tools. Financing can still stand in the way since about 30% +/- of the sales here are cash. Cash is not always a guarantee, especially if the price is not strong.


Jul 31, 2014 01:36 PM #24
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

AJ - Buyers need to understand, in a multiple bid situation, that the situation is very different than if they are just negotiating with the sellers. Sometimes the best efforts are not rewarded, and we move on. And ye we are looking some more

Sheila - our market is NOT for the faint of heart, and we need to educate buyers, new and experienced, about the realities


Jul 31, 2014 01:39 PM #25
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Jeff Dowler, CRS

The Southern California Relocation Dude
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