San Diego Buyers' Agents Too Laid Back: Buyer Goes It On Her Own

The San Diego real estate community hears this a bunch; things are pretty cordial and laid back in our county.  Sometimes though, a buyer gets so frustrated with her real estate agent that she takes matters into her own hands--AFTER the transaction is closed.

Here's how to get the house you REALLY want.  From this LA Times article:

1- Be specific about what you want:

she knew exactly the kind of house she needed. She wanted to be in Carmel Valley, a planned community, and needed a single-story house and private garden for her daughter and a pool for her husband so he could exercise.

2- Don't be scared to reverse prospect:

Our needs were so specific that I handed out fliers to every single one-story house in our area, saw every single-story house the same day it went on the market, and spent considerable time trying to find a new home that met our needs so we could finally have our forever home

3- Write up an aggressive offer if you want the home:

she made an offer and assumed she would soon get the keys, but another couple got the house.  She offered that couple $100,000 more than the $779,000 they paid, but she said she did not hear back from the couple.

4- After the other buyer moves in, list their home on Zillow:

"I didn't know what was going on until after the second or third person," the owner said. "I asked, actually, a real estate agent. She told me it was posted on Zillow for sale."

5- Call the US Post Office and have their mail held at Christmas:

In December, the crush of Christmas mail suddenly stopped. When Rice went to the post office, he found out that someone using his wife's name had put a one-month hold on the mail.

6- Order a bunch of stuff, without authorization,  to a name designed to insult the owners:

Then the mail arrived in torrents: thousands of dollars of magazines and books that someone had ordered without their permission and junk mail addressed to Jacques Arse.

7- Send love notes to the neighbor wives:

In February, someone sent Valentine's Day cards to the couple's female neighbors. "Thinking of you," said the cards, signed with the owner's initials. He learned of them from the husband of one of the women.  "I wasn't quite sure what was going on until he showed me the envelope, and it was addressed to his wife," he said. "And it was from me."

8- Finally, put the wife's picture up on a swinger's sex site, soliciting "lunch with dessert":

Advertisements for sex with his wife popped up. "Adult entertainment of all types when my husband is not home," the ads said. "Not for the faint of heart. Come see me during the day while my husband is at work and we can get our freak on."

It's a real estate jungle out there folks.  Don't be scared to go after what you want.  Naturally, I'm poking fun at what should be a satirical article.  The sad part is--this is completely true.

Don't screw around if you want to buy a home.  Call me and I'll find you a local expert after we get you pre-approved for a home loan.  This sort of behavior...might land you in jail.