A Few Jokes: 9-15-2014

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma OREC#86951

 

Children in Church


A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him,
"How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

 



After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,
"Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
And I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."



A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service,
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."



A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"


A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"



Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.
She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane.
She asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said,
"That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.
But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"


The Sunday School Teacher asks,
"Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No ma'am," little Johnny replies,
don't have to. My mom is a good cook."




A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.
She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"


Posted by

Licensed to SELL - Dedicated - Experienced - Honest - Than Maynard - Purcell, OK

Head shot

Than Maynard
REALTOR, CRB, Certified Short Sale agent, Certified Foreclosure Agent, Accredited REO Agent
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma Real Estate
1726 N Green Avenue, Purcell, OK 73080
CELL: (405) 990-8862
OFFICE: (405) 527-3012
www.cbheart.com

 

 

We never stop moving 3d

Comments (21)

Sybil Campbell
Fernandina Beach, FL
Referral Agent Amelia Island Florida

Than, I loved everyone of these jokes, I'll probably re-blog this later tonight or tomorrow.

Sep 15, 2014 04:29 AM
Elizabeth Bouchard
Samson Properties - Arlington, VA
Associate Broker in Northern Virginia, DC and MD

Thanks for the laughs.  One of the agents in our area sends out a Friday quick laugh email which is always a nice quick break from the work day.

Sep 15, 2014 04:30 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

Than, this is funny stuff ... very relate-able for and true of church services and all that stuff.

Sep 15, 2014 04:31 AM
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

LOL...Love the kids.  i have aa grad daughter that comes up with some stiff that makes just stop and smile.

Sep 15, 2014 06:23 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

These are so cute...I just kept laughing.  

Sep 15, 2014 06:57 AM
Amanda Christiansen
Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843 - Fort Wayne, IN
Christiansen Group Realty

Funny stuff Than!  I literally laughed out loud at a few of these.  Have a great rest of your week.  

Sep 15, 2014 07:50 AM
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

Thanks for stopping by everyone. Glad they brought some smiles and laughter!

Sep 15, 2014 12:00 PM
Robert Bob Gilbert
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Anderson Properties - Katy, TX
Your Katy TX ( West of Houston) Real Estate Expert

Than, Cute and funny jokes. I like the one where the little girl asked if we give the pastor money now will he let us go! Children at young ages are so honest! Have a great day. 

Sep 16, 2014 06:48 AM
Dale Bledsoe
Crown Key Realty - Tracy, CA
Realtor in Tracy, California

Aa a PK I must say some of those are pretty good. Thanks for the laughs.

Sep 17, 2014 03:56 AM
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Hun... - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Than, all were cute, but I really liked the last one the best!

Sep 17, 2014 11:45 AM
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

Ah... from the mouths of babes... Those were some funny stories!

Sep 18, 2014 12:50 PM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, EXP - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Thanks Than, every one of these had me laughing quite loudly, can't wait to share these with a few friends.

 

Sep 19, 2014 04:45 PM
Roger D. Mucci
Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092 - Euclid, OH
Lets shake things up at your home today!

Loved every one of these Than.....great way to start my Saturday morning.

Sep 19, 2014 08:48 PM
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

Glad everyone is enjoying the jokes!

Sep 20, 2014 01:37 AM
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Thanks Than.  Everyone of these brought a big smile to my face.

Sep 21, 2014 09:19 PM
Toni Weidman
Sailwinds Realty - Trinity, FL
20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL

Thanks for the smiles, Than.  All good ones. Have a great week.

Sep 22, 2014 02:31 AM
MichelleCherie Carr Crowe Just Call...408-252-8900
Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty - San Jose, CA
Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

I love these kind of jokes, cute and clean, too!

Sep 22, 2014 04:57 PM
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

Good morning Than Maynard what a great list of cute jokes....thanks

Sep 22, 2014 07:51 PM
Diana Zaccaro Broker Associate
Tropical Beachside brokered by eXp - Cocoa Beach, FL
"The Accidental Blogger" Cocoa Beach, Florida

Than , These are great and I really needed some humor today! Great post, thanks!

 

Sep 30, 2014 08:23 AM
Dana Hollish Hill
Hollish Hill Group, JPAR Stellar Living - Bethesda, MD
REALTOR * Broker * Coach

Than - These are priceless. Kids understand so much and so little. Thanks for sharing these. Great way to start the day. 

Oct 01, 2014 11:26 PM