We Should Call Adoption Something Else
I was on a listing appointment last night and the topic of adoption came up. The couple whose home I was listing picked me as their agent because of my online profile. In my profile, I mention that that my wife and I are adoptive parents, and that I have served as a board member of an adoptive agency in Brazil for quite a few years. These kind, and wonderful people selected me because they too, are adoptive parents.
There have been quite a few agent friends, whose opinion I value, who have told me my profile should be more “professional…less folksy.” While I value their opinions-because they have been right on so many things, I want to keep my profile just as it is. For you see, I am getting to be an old man. My time is short, and I want to spend that valuable time with people whose company I enjoy. Hey, we are all in this business for the money, but I don’t need the money that bad that I want to waste my most precious commodity (time) with people whose values aren’t the same as mine.
Anyway, these most generous people were telling me about the little boy whose life they have saved. Yes, I said the word saved. There is no other word to describe their efforts. They adopted a little boy whose life would have been completely different had these kind and wonderful people not come forward to give this boy an opportunity at a better life.
Having raised a daughter adopted from El Salvador, and son adopted from Brazil from toddlers to adults…I know the struggles that are ahead of them. Theirs is not an easy lot in life they have chosen. But then again, when is ever doing the right thing the easy choice? My wife and I have two biological children in addition to the two adopted children. What is most rewarding for us is one of our biological boys, Michael, has also adopted a little boy. Having grown up in a household in which he had to learn to share his parents, and his parent’s resources…Michael and his partner elected to open their hearts and home to someone in need too.
We have this whole new term for adopting an animal. The politically correct police have renamed it “rescuing a pet.” It is such a big part of pet ownership anymore. It is almost politically incorrect to go to the pet store and purchase a pet. No, everyone now “rescues the dog, or cat.” I like the term rescue because it conveys a much deeper meaning than adopting a pet. What does adopting a pet even mean? Rescuing a dog says you have saved it from something...certainly it conveys you are giving it a better life…maybe even having saved its life from being euthanized!
We should use the same term with our children. We didn’t adopt them…we rescued them! My wife and I have meet and talked to hundreds of adoptive parents over the years, and I can tell you that their children were rescued. They were rescued from abuse, and neglect. They were rescued from poverty and despair. They were in situations where they were unwanted and unloved, and God moved others to see their plight. He placed these children in homes where there was a void. He placed them in homes with an empty chair at the kitchen table. He placed them in homes where a mom and a dad had enough room in their hearts to love one more child.
Our youngest child, David…the one from Brazil…he called last night so full of pride and joy. It was so good to hear his voice! His older brother…my oldest son, owns a car dealership in Florida and David recently started working for his brother, Steven. David was so happy telling me about his first big paycheck in life. I couldn’t have been more proud…one, for having a son who was working hard, and for having another son who gave his brother a chance.
In the end, when each of us draws our last breath; it will not be about how many homes we sold, or the money we made. It will be about what we did with our lives. How much good we did in the world…did we add to the burden of those we encountered, or did we lighten the load of someone in need?
If you have room in your home and your heart for one more child, please consider “rescuing” someone. Rescuing someone comes in many forms....maybe for you it is adoption, maybe it is helping out at a shelter, becoming a big brother or sister, and maybe it is simply inviting someone over to share Thanksgiving dinner. What you may consider to be a meaningless gesture may just mean the world to someone who is hurting.
I will end with this. I absolutely love some of the quotes from Mother Teresa. Here is my favorite of hers… We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.
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