Why Realtors Would Survive A Zombie Apacolypse

Real Estate Broker/Owner with See TIM Sell @ Keller Williams

Note this article is written for humor purposes so please do not make assumptions that I nor any Realtor® would perform these acts in an actual Zombie Apocalypse.

Maybe I have been watching too much of The Walking Dead lately.  However, I have noticed that there seems to be no surviving Realtor® characters in the show.  I have also not spotted any in Zombieland, World War Z or another Zombie movies or shows.  This surprises me because I personally feel few professions are more prepared to deal with an apocalypse.  Below are just a few reasons that I believe our profession would give us an upper hand: 

We Know Which Homes Have Firearms and Ninja Swords          

In the case of a Zombie Apocalypse locating extra weapons is key.  I have literally been on thousands of listing presentations.  I know where the crazy teenage boys (and sometimes adults) keep their sword collections.  I also know which of my clients have the most deer heads hanging on the wall, a sure sign of extra ammunition and firearms.  I also know who has the best tool collections.  Note: I would only borrow these weapons if the homeowners have actually become Zombies or listed their home with another agent.

We Know A Lot of People and Are Good With The Dysfunctional

Most people know a few hundred people.  A successful Realtor® will know thousands.  A sphere of influence should increase our chances of recruiting world class Zombie Killers like Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson in Zombie Land) or Darryl (from the Walking Dead).  We are also good at working with large dysfunctional groups (if you have gotten some of the buyers and sellers to a closing table like I have then you know what I mean – not joking here).

We Deal With Brain Dead People Every Day

You cannot survive a career in real estate without perfecting the ability of dealing with at least one brain dead person daily (let’s be honest, usually more).  Our experience working with the brain dead can only translate well to the walking dead.  So again score another advantage for the real estate community (again joking here – relax)

How Hard Can A Zombie Apocalypse Be Compared To Surviving Your First Year In Real Estate

You survived clients who lied about being preapproved (and you found out after the 11th day showing them homes).  You endured multiple open houses (I once did four in a weekend).  You survived going weeks without a paycheck, perhaps months at the beginning.  You once made an entire meal out of a condiment bar at the local taco shack because you forgot your wallet.  Your survived kids with sticky fingers in your car and clients who looked at 87 houses before making a low ball offer that had zero chances of being accepted.  Skewering a Zombie just cannot be that hard. 

In conclusion I am convinced that a Realtor® can and should be a definite favorite to kick some Zombie toukas.  Not only should the real estate community be represented on the Walking Dead we should have our own frigging series (I will look forward to your call Robert Kirkman and Frank Darabont).

Finally, if you know anybody that survives the Zombie Apocalypse or just wants to buy a home in the Houston Metro Area (Katy, Sugar Land, and Cypress etc.) please remember the See TIM Sell Team.  You can reach us at 877-313-SELL or find us online with this link: Cross Creek Ranch Homes For Sale


Zombies Versus Realtors


Comments (2)

Timothy Sojka
See TIM Sell @ Keller Williams - Katy, TX

This was more fun to write than the last one

Dec 09, 2014 11:03 AM
Moses Robles

Great read. Thanks for sharing...

Dec 14, 2014 11:51 PM