If you are planning to build a home while happily married, real estate professional Debbie Reynolds has some good advice for you.
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How To Stay Married While Building a Home
Having sold many new, semi-custom and custom homes, I have seen the stress mount up in buyers and between buyers and tempers start to flare during the building process. I have even heard the "D" word used along the way. Building has been said to create terrible stress on a marriage and having just gone through the building process myself I can say you want it to be a happy experience not one you will regret and wish you had never done.
There are ways to minimize the tensions that will come and keep good feelings flowing at home. It all starts at the beginning. Ask yourselves if you can be satisfied with a home that is already built or almost complete. If you can then go find that home and buy it and don't go through the long extended process of building a home.
If you decide you simply have to have a certain lot or location or you have to have a floor plan that is "the perfect one" then read on. This post will give you tips to avoid strife and not end up in divorce court.
- Be in complete agreement at the beginning on the plan and the builder and the process.
- Define your budget and allow for overages. 5% used to be enough but plan for at least 10%. Then stick to it.
- When looking at products and selections, start at the low end of prices and work up. When you find what you can live with, stop and spend no more than that. Don't tempt yourself further with all the products you wish you could have.
- When it comes to differences of opinions, agree to disagree. Define areas where one or the other has domain as long as it stays in budget. Such as the kitchen may be her domain but the media room may be his. She may have definite ideas about the master bath and he may want the garage to have certain features. Respect each other.
- Be prepared to compromise. There will be times to give in. You may not want to but circumstances will require it. Be willing to be an adult and let it go to preserve harmony.
- Pick your selections early and don't change your mind along the way. This will cost you much more than the actual cost of the product. It will cause delays, get the builder off track and create overages that may be totally unnecessary. In turn this is an area where blaming and finger pointing will start occurring. Avoid it at all costs.
- Along the way, stop and see where you are in terms of money. Money is the great "marriage destroyer". Make sure to stay on budget. Agree to not get carried away.
- Enjoy the process. It really can be fun. If he doesn't care what color the paint is don't make a big deal out of it, just pick a color you like. Don't accuse your spouse of being disinterested or not being involved. What's the point? He may really not have any preference. Many fights starts right here.
- Moving time pressures can also put stress on the building experiences. Plan it where you have plenty of time and maybe even extra time before you have to move. Being pushed out of you former residence can put undue strain on the relationship.
- Be reasonable that things will not be perfect. Houses are built by man with many man- made products. Both are inclined to have mistakes. Be patient that it may take time to work out the kinks and get it right. There may even be some deficiencies you may have to learn live with.
How To Stay Married While Building a Home
During the process be happy about your decision to build. Tell each other you love one another. Show it. Find the excitement in knowing you are picking and creating a home made to your specifications. Think about the good times you will have and the memories you will create in you new home. Know you are building a future together for many years to come. Smile a lot.
it would be my pleasure to assist you!
"The Real Debbie Reynolds"
931-920-6730 - 931-320-6730 (cell)
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices-PenFed Realty
2503 Wilma Rudolph Blvd., Clarksville, TN 37040
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