Christmas Humor....Funny Quotes

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Realty Center

Want to make witty remarks this Christmas? Ogden Nash, Dave Barry, Charles Dickens , and many other authors share their Christmas humor with you below:

http://quotations.about.com/od/specialdays/a/christmas6.htm

Peter Dickinson
The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts.

Max Lucado, God Came Near
Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.

Dave Barry
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.

Ogden Nash
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

Katharine Whitehorn, Roundabout
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Frank McKinney Hubbard
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'

W. J. Cameron
There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.

Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"

 

Funny Christmas

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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Bob Crane 01/03/2015 02:58 PM
Topic:
Just for Fun
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Rainmaker
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Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

Kristin, thank you for sharing . I enjoyed reading the quotes. Merry Christmas .

Dec 24, 2014 11:40 PM #5
Rainmaker
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Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce

Merriest of Christmases to you and yours....all the best from ALL the Hansons...Sally, David, Magic & Dini !

Dec 24, 2014 11:48 PM #6
Rainmaker
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667 (MT), 914-419-0270 (NY), Broker in NY with Grand Lux Realty and in MT with (coming soon!) - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

David Barry "look out for the wall"  hahahaha.

Merry Christmas.

Dec 24, 2014 11:57 PM #7
Rainmaker
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Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

You bet Roy!  Same to you!

Gita, Merry Christmas!

Sally and David, and back at ya from Kris, Rocky, Simba, Maxwell, and Paris!

 

Kat, love it too!

Dec 24, 2014 11:59 PM #8
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Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

Good morning Kristin, Merry Christmas to you and blessings all 2015 long and much success.

Dec 25, 2014 12:14 AM #9
Rainmaker
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Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Same to you Debbie!  Have a great one!

Dec 25, 2014 12:20 AM #10
Rainmaker
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Kelly Cummings and Ryan Cummings
The Cummings Company - Mobile, AL
Your Real Estate Consultants For Life!!!

Love it! Hope you have a wonderful Holiday! Merry Christmas!

Dec 25, 2014 12:23 AM #11
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John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Good morning Kristin,

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas from our home to yours.  May you be Blessed with all the joys of the season. 

John & Debbie

Dec 25, 2014 12:36 AM #12
Rainmaker
3,158,592
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

John and Debbie merry Christmas to you both as well :-)
Ryan Thank You....same to you

Dec 25, 2014 12:41 AM #13
Rainmaker
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Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC

Kristin 

Nice select of funny Christmas quotes.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Dec 25, 2014 03:03 AM #14
Rainmaker
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Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Thanks Lou

Dec 25, 2014 03:03 AM #15
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Katerina Gasset
Get It Done For Me Virtual Services - Wellington, FL
Get It Done For Me Virtual Services

Great Christmas quotes! They are funny but true, especially the ones from Bill Watterson and Dave Barry.

Dec 26, 2014 10:08 AM #16
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Kristin- these reminded me of how much i enjoy Dave Barry. Thanks.

Dec 27, 2014 06:24 AM #17
Rainmaker
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Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

Kristin, Thank you for sharing the quotes. Good luck in 2015.

Dec 27, 2014 07:58 PM #18
Rainmaker
3,158,592
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Thanks Gita
Glad you liked it Kathy

Dec 27, 2014 11:43 PM #19
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Robert Vegas Bob Swetz
Realty ONE Group - Las Vegas, NV
Las Vegas Henderson Homes for Sale

Hello Kristin ... sorry I missed this post, Christmas & New Years already passed ... Wow and you your post has been featured to the group:

RAINY DAY at Activerain

Jan 01, 2015 04:52 AM #20
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Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, Keller Williams Fox Cities - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Just what I needed tonight, a few very good laughs, thanks Kristin!

 

Jan 03, 2015 02:36 PM #21
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Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
RE/MAX Northwest. - Tacoma, WA
Tacoma Washington Agent/Broker & Market Authority!

I really needed this smile because January really brings my spirits down. I got my smile thank you! Kristin Johnston, Waukesha Realtor 414-254-6647 

Jan 03, 2015 03:53 PM #22
Rainmaker
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Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

Happy New Year, Kristin.  Thanks so much for sharing these funny quote.  Several of them really made me laugh.

Jan 03, 2015 09:05 PM #23
Rainmaker
3,158,592
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Glad to hear you liked them Debbie and Paul!

Jan 03, 2015 11:30 PM #24
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Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®

Giving Back With Each Home Sold!
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