Christmas Humor....Funny Quotes

Reblogger Bob Crane
Real Estate Agent with Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, Keller Williams Fox Cities #1 in Forest Land Mgmt

I really enjoy the posts that our fellow Wisconsinite Kristin Johnston shares every week and she has some excellent collections of humourous quotes for Christmas and new years that you really do not want to miss.

Bill Vaughan
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Dave Barry
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.


Original content by Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®

Want to make witty remarks this Christmas? Ogden Nash, Dave Barry, Charles Dickens , and many other authors share their Christmas humor with you below:

Peter Dickinson
The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts.

Max Lucado, God Came Near
Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.

Dave Barry
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.

Ogden Nash
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

Katharine Whitehorn, Roundabout
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Frank McKinney Hubbard
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'

W. J. Cameron
There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.

Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"


Funny Christmas

idx search - Waukesha WI Real Estate

Hello! I have been in real estate since 2000, and really enjoy working with both buyers and sellers alike.  I focus mainly on Waukesha County Real Estate.  I sincerely hope you will take a few minutes to review my many client testimonials on my website,  I believe this is probably the best way of finding out who I am, my work ethic, personality, etc.  I adore working in real estate and truly find it to be a rewarding business.  I am a Waukesha Buyer's Agent and have my ABR Designation (Accredited Buyer's Representative).  I also have my IRES Designation (International Real Estate Specialist).  So, I can help you with your real estate needs throughout the world! 



Waukesha County Real Estate. Feel free to email me at or call me directly at 414-254-6647. Need help selling your home? Looking to purchase a home? Find a home in the MLS,on-line info,community information, mortgage calculators and

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Kristin Johnston



Home Values Waukesha WI, Home Listings Waukesha WI, MLS Listings Waukesha WI, Homes Waukesha WI


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Kristin Johnston, Waukesha County Realtor, Waukesha Realtor, Buyer Agent Waukesha,


I practice real estate throughout all of SE Wisconsin, but primarily focus on Waukesha County Real Estate and Milwaukee County Real Estate.   Waukesha County Real Estate includes Big Bend, Brookfield, Delafield, Dousman, Eagle, Elm Grove, Genesee, Genesee Depot, Hartland, Lannon, Lisbon, Menomonee Falls, Merton, Mukwonago, Muskego, New Berlin, North Prairie, Oconomowoc, Ottawa, Pewaukee, Summit, Sussex, Vernon, Wales and Waukesha.   Milwaukee County Real Estate includes Brown Deer, Cudahy, Fox Point, Franklin,
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In addition to my ABR (Accredited Buyer's Representative) and EPRO designations, I now have the IRES designation (International Real Estate Specialist) as well, so I can assist you with your real estate needs world-wide!  Call me today at 414 254 6647 or email me at!




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Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Thanks for the comic relief, Bob! You brought a good laugh to my belly and there's never anything wrong with that!

Jan 03, 2015 03:31 PM #1
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
RE/MAX Northwest. - Tacoma, WA
Tacoma Washington Agent/Broker & Market Authority!

That was worth the re-blog Bob; thank you for taking your time to share this find!

Jan 03, 2015 03:48 PM #2
Laura Allen, Lake Tahoe - Truckee Real Estate for Sale
Coldwell Banker, Tahoe City, CA (530) 414-1260 - Tahoe City, CA
Tahoe Real Estate Agent Helping Buyers and Sellers

Bob - Very funny, and in some cases very true.  A great way to end the holiday season!

Jan 03, 2015 04:01 PM #3
TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc.
Complete Home Inspections, Inc. - Brentwood, TN
Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029

 Good morning Bob. Excellent choice for re-blog. I must admit, this is a great way to end the holiday season.

Jan 03, 2015 05:58 PM #4
Joe Petrowsky
Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709 - Manchester, CT
Your Mortgage Consultant for Life

Good morning Bob. A little humor after Christmas and New Years is always enjoyable. Any excuse I can get for a good laugh is always appreciated.

Jan 03, 2015 07:27 PM #5
Dagny Eason
Dagny's Real Estate - Wilton, CT
Fairfield County CT, CDPE Homes For Sale and Condo

Good morning - cute little humor pieces on the Christmas season.  



Jan 03, 2015 08:09 PM #6
Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

Thanks so much, Bob for reblogging and for the great laughs.

Jan 03, 2015 09:02 PM #7
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Bob, missed this on the original go round. Thanks! Enjoy your day!

Jan 03, 2015 09:07 PM #8
Marco Giancola
Beachfront Realty - Miami Beach, FL
Realtor (305)608-1922, Miami Beach Florida

Hey Bob Crane warm sunny greetings from Miami to you for the New Year!

Jan 03, 2015 09:55 PM #9
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Bob, thanks for the reblog...that is nice of you!  Make it a great 2015, with loads of humor too!

Jan 03, 2015 11:49 PM #10
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

This is a good choice for a re-blog. I also follow Kristin.

Jan 04, 2015 03:42 AM #11
Larry Johnston
Broker, Friends & Neighbors Real Estate and Elkhart County Subdivisions, LLC - Elkhart, IN
Broker,Friends & Neighbors Real Estate, Elkhart,IN

Good evening Bob Crane ,  Thanks for re-blogging this as I missed it the first time.

Jan 04, 2015 07:06 AM #12
Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

Those are pretty cute, I can see why you wanted to reblog. For those of us that missed the original!

Jan 04, 2015 11:59 PM #13
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Bob Crane

Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671
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