On-Line Friendships

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with New Paradigm Partners LLC EB #1326335

Debbie Reynolds' Singing in the Rain challenge has been tremendous fun, providing us with a great excuse for some real-world interaction with our fellow AR members.

 

But as I wrote that, I thought "wait a minute, a telephone conversation isn't really real world", remembering those times before the Internet when real world meant face-to-face. Now a chat on the phone is kind of an intermediary state, between inhabiting the same physical space and connecting on-line.

 

What is interesting is how real and solid personal interactions have become all along that spectrum. There are people we know from personally meeting and spending time with them, people we know only from on-line interaction - many of them here on AR - and, more rarely than in the past, people we have only ever spoken to on the phone.

 

And as it happens, we feel we actually know many of those from the last two categories pretty well. Nothing quite replaces physical interaction - our ability to interpret social cues from body language and word tone is hard-wired and hard to replace. In person, we can meet someone new and like them right away, based on an immediate read of those cues.

 

But we're developing new skills that allow us to make judgments about character and trust based on a completely different set of signals. The difference seems to be time. We might read a blog or FB post from someone new and like it, and then start to follow and interact with them. Over time, we develop a picture of who that person is and if the signals mesh, they become friends. And that friendship can be very real indeed - we'll share secrets as well as recipes and recommendations, and we'll feel like we have a true ally. AR seems to be a very effective environment for encouraging that, with both our personal and professional personas on display.

 

Debbie's challenge works well, because it encourages a deepening of our friendships, by extending our base of experience. It turns out that it's all personal and it's all real. And when we make that final step, and physically meet our friends for the first time, we're rarely surprised and usually delighted.

 

They Know Now

Posted by
Mary & Dick

Mary & Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC
2601 S. Lemay Ave. #41
Fort Collins, CO 80525
970-689-4663
www.maryanddick.com

 

Data Source: IRES MLS

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Rainmaker
1,317,551
Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

Dick - things are changing.  I have first made "friends" with folks on AR..  then through phone calls and in a few cases.. in person.  What a unique experience.. and yes, this is a big change in how we relate to people.  Love the cartoon!

Jan 28, 2015 11:23 AM #31
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Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Dick Greenberg in fact, I did reach out few new faces and one of them committed to 'come back' to ActiveRain with Active Blogging! Now it's still a matter of time when I get a chance to write about them - only 3 days left! 

Jan 28, 2015 11:45 AM #32
Rainmaker
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Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

This contest has been awesome, reading about different folks.  I love it!

Jan 28, 2015 11:57 AM #33
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Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

I have friends I've never met. I think it makes perfect sense in the new online world.

Jan 28, 2015 12:58 PM #34
Rainmaker
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Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

The long-distance is nothing with social networks AND the phone!  We communicate and that's a wonderful thing!  (Back at ya Maria Gilda Racelis )

Jan 28, 2015 01:20 PM #35
Rainmaker
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Catherine Ulrey
Keller Williams Capital City - Salem, OR
Equestrian and Acreage Property Specialist

What a great learning/connecting experience!

Jan 28, 2015 01:32 PM #36
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Lynn B. Friedman
Atlanta Homes ODAT Realty Call/Text 404-939-2727 Buckhead - Midtown - Westside -- and more ... - Atlanta, GA
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Dick Greenberg 
Then you went to the LA area - right? A face to face event--- if I am correct??
Have a happy day -
Lynn

Jan 28, 2015 02:59 PM #37
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Russ Ravary ~ Metro Detroit Realtor call (248) 310-6239
Real Estate One - Commerce, MI
Michigan homes for sale ~ yesmyrealtor@gmail.com

I wish I had time to just call other agents in other states.  It is good to make friends but life is so busy with immediate friends, family, and work

Jan 28, 2015 06:55 PM #38
Rainer
520,127
Sham Reddy CRS
H E R Realty, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH
CRS

Its great to connect with so many people via internet, in fact its a blessing. Yes it does not replace a phone call or a personal visit if its feasible, at conventions, workshops, tradeshows, NAR conventions, State Conentions etc. But its the next best thing from being in the physical presence. I love networking on line and exchange, share ideas and challenges

Jan 28, 2015 07:48 PM #39
Rainmaker
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Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

I agree this is a nice contest . I am sorry I may not have time to call 5 people. 

Jan 28, 2015 08:57 PM #40
Rainmaker
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Kathleen Daniels
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist

Yes, Dick, I concur, I suspect they are humping as well. 

The relationships we form here in the Rain are something one has to experience. I learned a lot from those I called for Debbie's challenge as well as from those who called me.

Jan 28, 2015 11:50 PM #41
Rainmaker
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Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

As Kathy Streib already mentioned we finally met for the first time in person this month. Just like you said...no surprises only delight and a confirmation that we are very good friends!

Jan 29, 2015 12:15 AM #42
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Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS 602-380-4886
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana!

Dick it's been one of the best thing in the rain - creating great genuine friendships. I've met many in person since 2008 and it's always the same - like we've know each other for years and we start off the conversation like we just saw each other last week.  How often does that happen online?  Wonderful contest! Wish I had more time this month but being busy is a good thing.

Jan 29, 2015 01:35 AM #43
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Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation

I've enjoyed so many Activerain friendships, and some of them actually began when we met personally at events while others began online. The key is to keep in touch by any means, whether it's comments on blog posts, emails, texts, or meet-ups.

Jan 29, 2015 06:40 AM #44
Rainmaker
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Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

I enjoyed your post and I was glad Patricia put it on her weekly summary page this week!

Jan 31, 2015 11:05 PM #45
Rainmaker
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Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

The friendships here are amazing--I had no idea that would occur when I first joined. I enjoy the meet ups--they feel like school reunions.

Feb 01, 2015 02:14 AM #46
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Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Hi, Dick!  You can find this post on today's "Last Week's Favorites". 

Feb 01, 2015 07:25 AM #47
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William Johnson
Retired - La Jolla, CA
Retired Real Estate Professional

Hi Dick, Debbie really had a great contest and more than that, people were actually excited to do the calling and the results as reported were very fulfilling. The cartoon  seems quite accurate as well.

Feb 01, 2015 02:56 PM #48
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Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

I was so pleased at the response and the participation from the members. What you said is true. It was a deepening of friendships and the beginning of new relationaships. 

Feb 04, 2015 02:36 AM #49
Rainmaker
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Melinda (Mel) Peterson
Real Estate Cafe LLC - Bend, OR
Curator of Happy Endings

It was a pleasure meeting you in person Dick (even though I was... eh huh, fashionably late).  It's funny... I knew instantly who you were... but my mind said... noooo, it can't be, he lives in Fort Collins and this is LA!  Surprise, surprise!

I was a fan before, but it's such a delight to place a bear-like silhouette to your name... a gentle giant, perhaps ;-) 

Feb 06, 2015 06:27 AM #50
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