Special offer

You Love It? You Will Pay for Saying That

By
Real Estate Agent with Ansley Real Estate/Christie's International 262285

Is there a benefit to writing a personal letter to the seller of a home? Yes, to the seller. What seller wouldn't LOVE knowing that the buyer of their home is emotionally hooked? A buyer that reveals an emotional connection to a home compromises their ability to negotiate not only terms, but other things as well.  Buying a home is an emotional process; it’s up to the buyer’s agent to temper that with business sense.

To be clear, buying a home is a business transaction. No matter the perceived friendly relationship between parties, the desires of each are diametrically opposed; buyer wants to pay as little as possible, seller wants as much as possible. Professional agents will use every angle to ensure that their client’s best interests are promoted – like a tear stained love letter from a buyer losing it over a house. Does the seller care? Does it impact their bottom line? Well, yes! They know that a big, fat hook is deeply embedded into the buyer’s mouth.

A tight real estate market results in buyers looking for an edge; what can they do to stand out? The obvious answer is to present the best offer; price yes but clean offers are just as desirable. Some buyers feel compelled to add “personal” notes, explaining to the seller how they can see the kids growing up in the home, how the home reminds them of something from the past or how they felt an emotional connection. All of that is usually true, most sellers are genuine in their letters and these letters may have some impact on the decision of the seller. But…

If a seller knows that a buyer is head over heels in love with a home and already emotionally attached, there will be little negotiation. Once a buyer tips their hand and “shares the love”, they compromise their negotiating power. This goes beyond the sales price of a home and will expand to closing costs, closing date, inspection repairs, unexpected problems and pretty much anything that comes along. If a seller knows a buyer is “all in”, why make an effort to concede anything?

Love a home? Make a very strong, clean offer. A personalized letter is likely to come back to haunt you during the purchasing process. Always use an agent and keep it all business, the seller is.

There’s termite damaged wood and issues with the electrical panel, an encroachment on the back line or a leaky roof? Good luck with it all. The appraisal came in low? Clearly the appraiser doesn't understand just how much you love it, just cover the short and close. And be understanding when the closing date will need to moved back a few weeks, this is the dream house after all.

The same is true for buyers that stuff mailboxes or chase unlisted homes in areas they want to live in. If a homeowner receives an unsolicited offer to sell their home, should they be expected to negotiate on price, terms or anything else? They already know that they hold what the buyer wants, and a real estate purchase can be heavily influenced by emotion. Mistakes are made this way, big mistakes...and that’s why home buyers should always be represented by experienced agents – but that’s another topic.

And no discussion is complete without the legal aspect; it’s entirely possible that a personal letter could result in violation of the Fair Housing Act. If a letter references a desire to be in a local church, a lifestyle choice or something specific to a disability or particular organization, problems may arise. A devoutly religious married couple might write a letter and win a bidding war over a married gay couple that offered a higher price. If the “losers” feel strongly enough and can demonstrate violations of the Fair Housing Act, legal issues can result. Ignorance of fair housing laws is not an excuse so even if there was no intent, problems can still exist.

Buyers would do well to avoid making the purchase of a home personal, that sounds counter-intuitive but it is a business transaction first and foremost. If you find the home to die for, make a very strong offer and win it that way, retain your ability to negotiate other things if needed. It’s not easy but try to keep emotion in check; it’s the best way to buy a home.

Comments (2)

David Popoff
DMK Real Estate - Darien, CT
Realtor®,SRS, Green ~ Fairfield County, Ct

So true buyers, keep you comments to yourselves, you might end up paying more or just alienating the seller to a point of no deal.

Feb 03, 2015 02:02 AM
Tammie White, Broker
Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN
Franklin TN Homes for Sale

Hank, I am totally with you on this. I certainly don't want to compromise my client's bargaining position right from the get go, not to mention the Fair Housing ramifications.

Feb 03, 2015 02:07 AM