My two-cents' worth of opinion on having a hyphenated name

By
Real Estate Agent with John L Scott Market Center 700512026
https://activerain.com/droplet/4zkd

 

Hyphen-hate-it!!

I happened to be e-mailing Wanda Kerbat-Nerbin to say thank you for subscribing to my blog and looking at her name gave me pause. Since we share this hyphenated name thing in common, I addressed it right away. Here is what I wrote:

"To another one of us with a hyphenated name! Well, I don't know about you, but I tell every single gal, 'Don't go hyphenated!' They always lose your paperwork, your order, your what-have-you and your mail is constantly wrong--geesh"!

I got to thinking about this even further. Your family and friends never seem to get it quite right and finally you give up. They forget that your name is different than your husband's. Or, they give him YOUR last name by mistake. OR, it is completely bastardized. My husband's first name is Larry. Larry Boxman, pretty simple. I am Gayle Rich-Boxman. I have received mail that was addressed this way:

Mr. and Mrs. Rich Boxman

"Dear Rich", 

 

And if you go to pick up something you've ordered, like photos to be printed, you never know which letter they're putting your name under. Is it B or is it R? They don't know and you spend copious amounts of time tensely thinking that you've ended up in some dead zone, because they couldn't figure it out EITHER, so they ask you, "Would it be under B? Or would it be under R?" Hey, I don't know, because there seems to be no RULE about this! 

Really, Rich and Boxman are pretty simple. But NO! All of my names get misspelled all of the time.  It used to be just my first name, Gayle or Gail. Not anymore! 

 

I did this for altruistic reasons...to honor my dad (who departed just before I met my husband-to-be) and my (then) future husband who wanted me to take his name. It's the thought that counts, I guess. 

I do have to say that my all time favorite misspelling wasn't really my name, but something that came in the mail for my husband. 

Larry Buttman

 

 

It was a Seinfeld moment that I'll never let him live down! 

 

 

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Ambassador
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Silvia Dukes PA, Broker Associate, CRS, CIPS, SRES
Tropic Shores Realty - Ich spreche Deutsch! - Spring Hill, FL
Florida Waterfront and Country Club Living

Gayle, at least you didn't lose your good humor over your hyphenated name! :-)

Mar 04, 2015 09:32 AM #29
Rainmaker
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Sharon Alters
Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty - 904-673-2308 - Fleming Island, FL
Realtor - Homes for Sale Fleming Island FL

We have enough trouble with people not spelling Alters or even getting the name right. 

Mar 04, 2015 09:32 AM #30
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Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
RE/MAX Northwest. - Tacoma, WA
Tacoma Washington Agent/Broker & Market Authority!

My sister in law did this and my niece and nephew hate it. My nephew has even threatened to take his wife's name rather than be hyphenated. I have never given it much thought because my wife was more important than the name Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Realtor (503)755-2905 

Mar 04, 2015 10:00 AM #31
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Gayle- I've never really thought of that but I can see where it would be a pain in the you-know-what.  Then there's my maiden name -Gee.  What's funny is that when I would give my last name for a restaurant wait list, they would ask me how it's spelled.  Like it really mattered! 

Mar 04, 2015 10:37 AM #32
Ambassador
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Chris Ann Cleland--it sounds like you PLANNED the wonderful name that you have....

Andrew Mooers--EXACTLY my point! Pretty funny, but oh-so-true. We may see more of this dilemma in our future. 

Thank you, Silvia Dukes PA, REALTOR! And I really didn't think I'd have this kind of response to it...just something I've been meaning to talk about for awhile. 

Oh, dear Sharon Alters! I'll bet it gets spelled Altars, doesn't it?

It can get pretty dicey with kids, Paul Henderson--my hubby and I didn't have any so I didn't face that dilemma. 

Mar 04, 2015 10:37 AM #33
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Oh, Kathy Streib--I LOVED your last line--it totally cracked me up!!!!!!! Isn't it amazing how they can screw up even the easy ones??

 

Mar 04, 2015 10:58 AM #34
Rainmaker
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Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

I've watched enough Maury Povich shows to know there is a possibility that one of the 2 names being hyphenated will not truly be your's. . .tsk, tsk!  I've always wondered why our last names were our father's last name, rather than our mother's maiden name!  It just seems that we wouldn't need to take a DNA test to prove it!

Mar 04, 2015 12:07 PM #35
Rainmaker
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Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

I might also add that my last name (Jeffcoat), often gets me into difficulty.  If I'm ordering online, or they can't see me, they think "Jeff" is my first name, and "Coat" is my last.  I have been divorced for years, but never went back to my maiden name (Heady), because the word "heady" means drunk or intoxicating!

Mar 04, 2015 12:10 PM #36
Rainmaker
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Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

I have a  hyphenated name .. and it always presents a challenge when trying to figure out how it was stored by 3rd parties....

Mar 04, 2015 01:15 PM #37
Rainmaker
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Joe Petrowsky
Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709 - Manchester, CT
Your Mortgage Consultant for Life

Good morning Gayle. I spelled it right, didn't I? I am doing a mortgage for a couple that took on each others names and they are both hyphenated. That one took me a little longer to understand, it is important to get the name right no matter what.

Great job with your post!

Mar 04, 2015 06:48 PM #38
Rainmaker
5,214,750
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

I once received a letter to Mr. Jelley rather than Kelley. Then, one of our lawyers called me Mr. Jelley for many years. Your story about Larry is much better!

Mar 04, 2015 10:12 PM #39
Rainmaker
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Beth and Richard Witt
Long Island Cash Home Buyer - Huntington, NY
Long Island Cash Home Buyer 516-330-6940

Too funny... enjoyed The Buttman mistake... hope Larry did too...

Mar 04, 2015 10:56 PM #40
Rainmaker
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Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Vision Quest Realty - Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Gayle, this is soooo funny. When I married my name became Rebecca Vasvary-Gaujot.  Hungarian and French names.  I remember when I got married my employees said please don't change your name as we just learned how to spell and pronounce Vasvary and OMG Gaujot no way

Mar 04, 2015 11:51 PM #41
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Don't get too "heady" Myrl Jeffcoat or we may have to have you go back to your old name!

Joan Whitebook--what is it??

Joe Petrowsky you probably have to think twice since your Gayle is actually Gail! And in business, as in life, it's paramount that we pay attention to how to spell people's names.

Roy Kelley Mr. Jelley--hysterical! I may have to tease you about that...

Richard & Beth Witt--CONGRATS, Beth on a much-deserved Mucci!! I knew you would win. 

 

Mar 05, 2015 12:44 AM #42
Ambassador
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Rebecca Gaujot, the GO TO REALTOR--oh how you made me laugh with that last line!!!

Mar 05, 2015 12:44 AM #43
Rainmaker
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Tammy Adams ~ Realtor / Podcaster
Maricopa Real Estate Co - Maricopa, AZ
A Maricopa Agent who Works, Lives & Loves Maricopa

This is a good reason why I decided long ago that I would keep the same name from begining to end. No matter who I love I am me.   :-)    LOL

Mar 05, 2015 09:57 AM #44
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Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

I love that take on it, Tammy Adams!

Mar 05, 2015 10:56 AM #45
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Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Lankford is my maiden name.  And I'm not sure it was the best choice, but it was the choice I made (this time).  When I sign documents that must disclose aka names it's a nightmare. 

I think "traditionalist" have it right, but frankly "Tammy Baker" was never gonna work for me.

Mar 07, 2015 12:08 AM #46
Rainmaker
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Curtis Van Carter
Better Homes & Gardens Wine Country Group - Yountville, CA
Your Napa Valley Broker Extraordinaire

Gayle

What a fun read. But sometimes it doesn't need a hyphen to screw things up. My last name in Van Carter but I too experience many of the same issues. I get tired of being called Mr. Carter, Mr. Van and in worst case they replace the C with an F.

The worst offender is out tax assessor who has my name on his records as Vancarter. He said it is because his computer wouldn't work with a separation in the last name. He has never answered my letter when I sent him 100+ names on the tax rolls that had two word last names.

At least you have a choice. Of course being it is spelled such on the tax rolls, you know how all the junk mail is addressed. Maybe I should use this second name, fill out all the credit card offers, charge them to the max, and then when they come to collect, heck it ain't me. I am Van Carter and you are looking for someone else.

cheers cvc

Mar 07, 2015 04:45 AM #47
Rainmaker
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Trumps Elite
Keller Williams Realty Acadiana - Lafayette, LA
Realtors/Career Consultant

Sounds like a huge mess. But at least you can take the humor out of and make the best of it. ;) kudos for that

Apr 19, 2015 04:55 AM #48
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