By now the whole world has heard about the German flight that crashed into the Swiss Alps. Speculation is rampant as to what happened. The leading theory as of this morning is that the co-pilot deliberately crashed into the side of a mountain; while the pilot pounded in vain on the cockpit door desperately to regain control of the plane.
If you are like me, I bet you have imagined yourself on that flight…strapped into your seat and literally watching your world come crashing to an end. I have been on flights where there has been a mechanical problem, and you begin to panic, but you keep it in check because you don’t want to be judged by your fellow passengers for over-reacting. As the problem persists, you are looking around to see the reactions of the flight attendants and other passengers; all the while your mind races through your mental checklist of your next steps and options. Thankfully, the problem quickly resolved itself and everyone dialed back their DEFCON 5 level going off in their head.
Hopefully, no one reading this…or any of the people we love will ever face a situation like those poor souls on that flight. I imagine that the next biggest emotion racing through everyone’s mind on that flight, besides the fear of dying, is regret. In those final moments, when reality sets in that the situation is hopeless; I imagine those people recalling all the things they wished they would have told all the people they loved.
It is sad when you think of it, the majority us have made a Will because we wanted to make sure that whatever was in our bank accounts, ended up in the hands of the people we loved. We place such a high value on ‘things” that, while they certainly are important, don’t come close to the value of what is in our hearts.
The majority of the time, death pays an untimely visit. Rarely is the date highlighted on our calendar on our I-phone. Sadly, even when we know the time is near…we all pretend that it isn’t. We talk about the weather, or the football game, or anything else we can think of to avoid talking about what is important.
After standing over way too many coffins and thinking that there was unfinished business, I set out on a mission to not leave anything on the table anymore. I made a list of all those people who had played a pivotal role in my life. I then sent a letter to everyone on my list and I told them how important they had been to me. Think about it…how many times has someone done or said something that changed your life and your only recourse was to tell their next of kin as you stood over your friend, or mentor’s coffin? What the hell good is that?
Those letters produced letters from those I thanked. Those letters produced phone calls from children who told me how their father had read my letter to them…and how both of them had cried. If someone was important to you…TELL THEM. Don’t let their kindness die with your…or their death.
I next set out to leave my loved ones with an inheritance from my heart as well as my wallet. My mission statement was this, if I was on my deathbed and had 15 minutes to tell those gathered around me…what would I tell them? It took me about two years of reflection to determine what would be so important that I would want to share? I certainly wouldn’t waste that valuable time telling them what brand of television I thought was best. When you start to ponder this task yourself, you quickly realize this is a huge undertaking. Philosophically, you end up reducing all your life experiences and saying to your loved ones…in summary, this is what life is all about.
And, after two years of pondering, and thinking, and wondering…what did I come up with that I felt was the most important thing I would like my loved ones to know right before my voice went silent forever? My faith…that is what I chose to tell my wife and kids was the secret of life.
Once I figured out what I wanted share with them, I then wrote a book to my family. In that book, I shared stories from my childhood. I shared stories about my wife, and about them. I told them of things I had learned. I told them of struggles I had. And I told them, that for me, all answers to life could be found in a higher power.
I gave my wife and my children my book about 8-9 years ago. I also gave them directions to my blog on Active Rain and told them my book was an on-going thing. We never stop having the opportunity to learn new things. Active Rain serves as a way to continue to update my book.
I will leave you with this…it is not important what I told my family. What is important is what you are going to tell the people you love…or will you take what’s in your heart to your grave? Give the people you love a far greater gift than money…tell them how important they were to you!
One more thing, do it sooner than later!
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