The Struggle creates the loss

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Pareto Realty TN #251071

When a wild animal gets caught in a trap . . .

he’ll panic and struggle so vigorously that the cause of death is exhaustion . . . or he’ll leave a body part in the trap and subsequently bleed to death.

Morbid but true.

In a soccer match, the easiest way to get the ball from an opponent is to apply pressure by approaching that player in a menacing way . . . The player feels this pressure (or hears a teammate holler “Man ON”) and often “fumbles” thereby leaving the ball vulnerable.

Pressure “forces action,” and it is the best trained and practiced who move with purpose FORWARD (Over, around, or THROUGH) the pressure.

Others STOP and think: “Do I fight or RUN?”

This is mental Struggle which invariable manifests with FEAR and STRUGGLE.

While they’re thinking, the opponent exploits the advantage gained by the hesitation and goes for the goods.

We don’t lose the contest because of ineptitude.

When you find yourself struggling with something, NAME it and shift focus to convert the distress (Pressure) you are feeling to Eustress (Good Stress).

If you’re feeling exhausted and irritable, odds are decent, you’ve been snared.

DON’T struggle!

DON’T panic!

Apply what you know, and move FORWARD!

Conserve your energy so you’ll have more umph on the other side of the pressure.

Oh yeah! Don’t ever let’m see you fret/sweat.

the results will be exponential!


Residential Real Estate Principal Broker and Founder of Pareto Realty, LLC. Creating the quintessential real estate firm with emphasis on "Live, Work, & Play" balance . . . and a true Performance Oriented environment for Real Estate Professionals. Serving the Real estate needs of Home Buyers and Sellers in Middle Tennessee.

Posted by

Barry Owen

Principal Broker
Pareto Realty
Nashville, TN

Call me: 615-568-2123
email me:




Simply & BOLDLY Living the FourFold Way in Open Space!

Quintessentially connected to the real estate industry to offer the ultimate experience for Home Buyers and Sellers in Middle Tennessee . . . Inquire within!


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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Barry- what a good motivational post. This is why our first responders go through so much training and drills- in an emergency, they can keep their cool and do what they've been trained to do!

Mar 28, 2015 08:03 AM #2
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

What I learned

Mar 28, 2015 11:32 AM #3
Barry Owen
Pareto Realty - Nashville, TN

Thank you Kathy Streib!

You're the BEST!


Mar 28, 2015 12:10 PM #4
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Barry,

I'm so glad Kathy Streib featured your post! I missed this one and I really enjoyed your motivational post. Great illustrations that everyone can understand.

Mar 28, 2015 10:32 PM #5
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Good morning, Barry Owen what a fantastic post .... how did I ever miss subscribing to your blog???  done.... thanks Kathy Streib for posting this...

Mar 28, 2015 10:49 PM #6
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Good morning, Barry - I'm also here via Kathy Streib's Sunday Ah-Ha moments. Inspiring and well-written.  Good job.   

Mar 28, 2015 11:28 PM #7
Barry Owen
Pareto Realty - Nashville, TN

Barbara Todaro Thank you and Welcome Aboard! 

Michael Jacobs Thank you :-)

Mar 28, 2015 11:35 PM #8
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Great post! I can see why Kathy included it this week in her summary!  Well done!

Mar 29, 2015 12:38 AM #9
Barry Owen
Pareto Realty - Nashville, TN

thank you Kristin Johnston, Waukesha Realtor 414-254-6647 ! I hope the weather is as beautiful where you are as it is here in Nashville Today.


Mar 29, 2015 12:53 AM #10
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

I'm so glad Kathy shared this....what a great post!  I've never heard of Eustress, and didn't even know there was good stress!

Mar 29, 2015 01:31 AM #11
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-755-2905

Barry, what a wise on you are! In all of my studies, I've not heard of "eustress". 

Really glad to have found this great reflective piece thanks to Kathy Streib!

Mar 29, 2015 03:18 AM #12
Rene Fabre
First American Title - Seattle, WA
Marketing in the Digital Age

I really enjoyed this post Barry Owen ! So true... Follow the plan not the pressure! I'm glad Kathy Streib featured you today.

Mar 29, 2015 04:52 AM #13
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

For someone who is a real estate broker I likely handle pressure as well or better than any in the business.  I owe that debt of gratitude to my family.  I'm the wife a soldier/cop and mother a firefighter/medic.  "keep calm" runs in the family.

Mar 29, 2015 12:43 PM #14
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Barry Owen - don't panic! Isn't it such a simple thing? And we still do...which becomes a hurdle in moving forward.

Mar 29, 2015 02:13 PM #15
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, Keller Williams Fox Cities - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Great post Barry, managing our stress can be so important, for productivity and for life.



Mar 29, 2015 04:14 PM #16
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Barry - I was fascinated the first time I heard the term eustress and the idea that the more you have the more you can handle.

Mar 29, 2015 04:27 PM #17
Russ Ravary ~ Metro Detroit Realtor call (248) 310-6239
Real Estate One - Commerce, MI
Michigan homes for sale ~

Thanks for sharing....i dont like stress or conflict

Mar 30, 2015 01:31 AM #18
Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

Thanks for the information.  We all have to deal with stress and this is good advice.

Mar 30, 2015 01:14 PM #19
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Good advice. Don't give the stress more of your energy - just push through it. I know a couple of people who seem to attract more of it than others - and I really think it's because they're focused on the stress rather than the solutions. 

Mar 31, 2015 02:34 AM #20
Erick Blackwelder
Cell: 703-677-1120 - Woodbridge, VA
Text or call Erick now at 703-677-1120.

I am a pilot with an instrument rating.  I have to stay current on my instrument rating with at least 6 hours of actual, under the hood, or simulated instrument flying every 60 days.

Most of the time in the simulator is focused on recognizing and recovery from instrument emergencies.  The supervising pilot will ask me to put my hand in my lap, lower my chin, and shut my eyes while he puts the simulator into an unusual attitude.  Then he will say, "Open your eyes and recover".  First, I recover the aircraft to normal flight, second, I take up last known navigation, then I advise ATC of my situation. 

First comes flying the aircraft.

Flying a simulator is the most difficult flying of all.  Real life flying is a breeze compared to simulator flying.

Mar 31, 2015 05:15 AM #21
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